Being active in your sobriety - advice on how to do this?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 174
Being active in your sobriety - advice on how to do this?
I have been reading various threads in the "Best Of" section, and there was one about the most important pieces of advice for newcomers. A lot of people discussed "taking action" and "making real changes in your lifestyle". I have tried and failed at doing sobriety on my own enough times that I am willing to listen, but I was just wondering if people could elaborate in action they took/changes they made?
Were there certain hobbies you acquired? Was your daily routine switched up, so as changing when you got to bed/wake up? Did you go as far as a career change?
Were there certain hobbies you acquired? Was your daily routine switched up, so as changing when you got to bed/wake up? Did you go as far as a career change?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
The biggest change I made was a 'mental shift' in my thinking. I took drinking off the table as an option. No matter what, I wouldn't drink. That was the biggest thing I did. When I finally got sober I was desperate and wanted to be sober more than anything!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
My experience has been that I need to be totally committed to staying sober. For the past almost year that has been Job #1! Even if that means missing out on parties, etc that involve drinking. Some of us find that we simply can't be around alcohol in the early months. I had to learn to do whatever it takes to stay sober.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
I'm on day 39 this time and I'd say one of the biggest ways I've taken action is by being a very active participant on these boards. I was at around 250 posts on May 8, 2015, and am at over 1,100 now 5-1/2 weeks later. Some of my posts have been me asking for help, like you just did. Many of them have been me offering my own experience, like I'm doing right here. Many of them have just been a simple "Hey, welcome to SR." But every single one of them has made me more accountable to myself and to others. And, most importantly, helping others gets me out of my own sick head for a while. One addict helping another addict--it's a simple time-honored concept and it's working for me today. Wish I'd tried it many years ago.
I have also just started attending AA meetings and also made a big life change and left a job that I was absolutely miserable at and started a new one. All of those would count as action steps, too.
Also couldn't agree more with least saying that you should fully take drinking off the table as a viable option. Each and every day that I work at my recovery, I become more convinced that I do not have to take that first drink today no matter what. It's quite liberating.
I have also just started attending AA meetings and also made a big life change and left a job that I was absolutely miserable at and started a new one. All of those would count as action steps, too.
Also couldn't agree more with least saying that you should fully take drinking off the table as a viable option. Each and every day that I work at my recovery, I become more convinced that I do not have to take that first drink today no matter what. It's quite liberating.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
I was an all day drinker.
Here's what I did:
- Spent time writing down why I wanted to be sober and listed all the things that alcohol has done to me. Actually the list of things that alcohol did was easier for me. Lol. The reasons to be sober was short because I just wanted to be happy and live life.
- promised not to drink for 24hrs. That's all I was willing to do. Made a post here stating that fact on 4/20. Haven't looked back since.
- Read and researched online all about alcoholism. Saw exactly where I've been and where I was going became obvious. Scared me more and made resolve for sobriety stronger.
- read and researched about every program, technique, and tricks I could to help me through withdrawals. I added as many tools to my tool box as I could.
- told my fiancé that I had a serious problem. I was hiding booze and drinking as soon as I woke up and didn't stop till bed time. Needless to say, she already knew. But not to the extent I had detailed (which still did not paint the full picture)
- set an appointment with a counselor they day I made my promise and stuck with it. I really had to make myself go the day of the appointment. Super glad I did.
- attended an AA meeting.
- attended chat meetings here in SR every Tue and Fri night for a while. Now I hit one of them.
- read here. Posted here. A lot. Any time I had urges or was struggling. I do not have urges that much any more, but I still post frequently and read a lot.
- payed attention to what I ate and drank a lot of water. I found eating 5 smaller meals to level out my glucose levels was a HUGE help. No more junk food. Way more fruits and veggies. Took my vitamins daily.
- started journaling based on my shrinks advise. I write what ever enters my mind every morning. I have to fill 3 pages. I lay it all on the line then destroy them so nobody will ever see it.
- another simple action was removing all alcohol and empties.
- I did not go out to eat at a restaurant for the first two weeks. Only places that did not serve alcohol.
I'm sure there's more. But the key for me was constant daily changes or adding new tools to my tool box. Every day was something different. Was more than trying not to drink and being obsessed by that. Instead I became obsessed with understanding the disease and the ways to break free.
Here's what I did:
- Spent time writing down why I wanted to be sober and listed all the things that alcohol has done to me. Actually the list of things that alcohol did was easier for me. Lol. The reasons to be sober was short because I just wanted to be happy and live life.
- promised not to drink for 24hrs. That's all I was willing to do. Made a post here stating that fact on 4/20. Haven't looked back since.
- Read and researched online all about alcoholism. Saw exactly where I've been and where I was going became obvious. Scared me more and made resolve for sobriety stronger.
- read and researched about every program, technique, and tricks I could to help me through withdrawals. I added as many tools to my tool box as I could.
- told my fiancé that I had a serious problem. I was hiding booze and drinking as soon as I woke up and didn't stop till bed time. Needless to say, she already knew. But not to the extent I had detailed (which still did not paint the full picture)
- set an appointment with a counselor they day I made my promise and stuck with it. I really had to make myself go the day of the appointment. Super glad I did.
- attended an AA meeting.
- attended chat meetings here in SR every Tue and Fri night for a while. Now I hit one of them.
- read here. Posted here. A lot. Any time I had urges or was struggling. I do not have urges that much any more, but I still post frequently and read a lot.
- payed attention to what I ate and drank a lot of water. I found eating 5 smaller meals to level out my glucose levels was a HUGE help. No more junk food. Way more fruits and veggies. Took my vitamins daily.
- started journaling based on my shrinks advise. I write what ever enters my mind every morning. I have to fill 3 pages. I lay it all on the line then destroy them so nobody will ever see it.
- another simple action was removing all alcohol and empties.
- I did not go out to eat at a restaurant for the first two weeks. Only places that did not serve alcohol.
I'm sure there's more. But the key for me was constant daily changes or adding new tools to my tool box. Every day was something different. Was more than trying not to drink and being obsessed by that. Instead I became obsessed with understanding the disease and the ways to break free.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
For me continuing to do the same thing and simply just not drink never worked, the reason being it created a whole lot of time with my thoughts, and in isolation I would tend to return to drinking, so a few things I did to change things up were:
-SR was built into my daily routine, I logged in when I woke up, during my lunch break at work, when I arrived home from work and last thing before going to bed.
-I would leave my bank cards at home when I left for work so there was no way to buy alcohol on the way home from work, when my good intentions had evaporated later in the day.
-Upon arriving home from work when I would usually start drinking, before cooking a long walk in the fresh air to deal with the stress of the day was worked into my routine.
-Before bed I would lay out my clothes for work the next morning and began to brush my teeth every night, previously I would have blacked out into bed.
-Each morning I now have a large glass of water and get up earlier so I'm not in the same rush I was when hungover, this is a less stressful start to the day.
-On weekends I go for a coffee and a muffin every Sunday morning, as a kind of reward, I buy a news paper and have some me time, plenty of relaxation to round off the week.
All of these things were not part of my routine when drinking and through moulding and creating a life away from alcohol it has lost it's grip more and more over time!!
-SR was built into my daily routine, I logged in when I woke up, during my lunch break at work, when I arrived home from work and last thing before going to bed.
-I would leave my bank cards at home when I left for work so there was no way to buy alcohol on the way home from work, when my good intentions had evaporated later in the day.
-Upon arriving home from work when I would usually start drinking, before cooking a long walk in the fresh air to deal with the stress of the day was worked into my routine.
-Before bed I would lay out my clothes for work the next morning and began to brush my teeth every night, previously I would have blacked out into bed.
-Each morning I now have a large glass of water and get up earlier so I'm not in the same rush I was when hungover, this is a less stressful start to the day.
-On weekends I go for a coffee and a muffin every Sunday morning, as a kind of reward, I buy a news paper and have some me time, plenty of relaxation to round off the week.
All of these things were not part of my routine when drinking and through moulding and creating a life away from alcohol it has lost it's grip more and more over time!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Scram, like others have said, the mental aspect in quitting is huge. I had to completely take drinking off of the table. There was / is no place for alcohol in my life today. Each time I left a tiny opening, I would fail...
Until I completely got any option to drink out of my head, i had lost before I began to fight.
I also spent as much time on SR as I could early on. It does get easier with time, but in the beginning I spent a ton of time here... read old posts and try to be active posting as well.
There is no blue print for sobriety, what works for me might not work for you. The common goal, however, is you have to want to be sober and don't drink today.
When you feel yourself start to get weak, log into SR and post for help. Do anything to ride out that craving; trust me it will go away.
You do have the power to make this change for good and you won't regret the decision!
Until I completely got any option to drink out of my head, i had lost before I began to fight.
I also spent as much time on SR as I could early on. It does get easier with time, but in the beginning I spent a ton of time here... read old posts and try to be active posting as well.
There is no blue print for sobriety, what works for me might not work for you. The common goal, however, is you have to want to be sober and don't drink today.
When you feel yourself start to get weak, log into SR and post for help. Do anything to ride out that craving; trust me it will go away.
You do have the power to make this change for good and you won't regret the decision!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Drinking usually becomes a part of one's routine correct? breaking that routine is the hard part. Whatever the heck you want or have to do to break the cycle is what is necessary. For me is was pretty hard, but once you establish that new routine (which doesn't involve alcohol) then make that new routine hard to break. I know, my response was pretty vague, but that is the gist of it for me.
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