Breaking Point
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Mayflower, AR
Posts: 416
Breaking Point
I first came to SR to deal with my own alcoholism. After a while I ventured into the other forums and while I have followed many here I have never posted in this particular forum. Well, I have never started a thread here to be more accurate.
I reached a breaking point today and sent my daughter to jail. She had already been tossed out of my house earlier this year. I allowed her to come here to recuperate from the emergency C-section she had April 8th, especially since her baby was taken from her when he was only 2 days old, having tested positive for meth.
Since her arrival here, my money seems to run away from home, my clothing finds its way into her closet, and as usual my car keys hide themselves so well I have yet to find the last 4 sets that disappeared when she was around.
First let me say, she is 39 yrs old and we have done this dance for to many years. This morning my son sent me a text that a friend of us had her bag gone through while at our house yesterday and all her money, a few winning lottery tickets and a piece of jewelry was missing from her bag. While I don't particularly care for this girl I still was angry to be told this. When I asked my daughter about it she first denied it yet 15 minutes later made sure I knew that the girl had a dope pipe in her purse, which is going to lead to an entirely different fight when my son gets home.
My daughter, as is her nature, went off, calling me everything under the sun (nothing I haven't heard before) and something snapped in me. I am tired of being verbally abused in my own home, I am tired of being taken advantage of and I am certainly sick of the he said, she said BS.
She got so loud and abusive my neighbor called the police, once they arrived I came in to get her and she had snuck out the backdoor. I later found out she had gone next door and ran into my other neighbor's house, didn't knock, just ran in. This particular neighbor is in stage 4 lung cancer and certainly didn't need this crap laid at his door. She showed back up minutes after they left and continued her tirade. A friend of hers that was here told me my daughter needed help (like I didn't know this) and took off walking to distance himself from the situation. When she took off after him, I called the police and gave them a description of what she was wearing, not they needed it, I am pretty sure she was the only brunette stomping through the neighborhood cursing anyone and everyone she encountered.
I really can only assume they picked her up but as I have had no further threatening phone calls I think it is a safe assumption. I then called her DHS caseworker and informed them of the happenings this morning. I expect this has cost her any opportunity of getting her son back or it might be the push she needed to get her butt in gear.
Either way, I keep telling myself, this is on her and her choices, her actions. I don't know what the coming weeks will bring but I hope that I am ready for it. One thing I am sure of is that you guys will be here for me to vent at if necessary.
Sorry for rambling and I suspect this is longer than I intended it to, I just had to get it out of my system and to someone or many someones who understand what I am going through.
I reached a breaking point today and sent my daughter to jail. She had already been tossed out of my house earlier this year. I allowed her to come here to recuperate from the emergency C-section she had April 8th, especially since her baby was taken from her when he was only 2 days old, having tested positive for meth.
Since her arrival here, my money seems to run away from home, my clothing finds its way into her closet, and as usual my car keys hide themselves so well I have yet to find the last 4 sets that disappeared when she was around.
First let me say, she is 39 yrs old and we have done this dance for to many years. This morning my son sent me a text that a friend of us had her bag gone through while at our house yesterday and all her money, a few winning lottery tickets and a piece of jewelry was missing from her bag. While I don't particularly care for this girl I still was angry to be told this. When I asked my daughter about it she first denied it yet 15 minutes later made sure I knew that the girl had a dope pipe in her purse, which is going to lead to an entirely different fight when my son gets home.
My daughter, as is her nature, went off, calling me everything under the sun (nothing I haven't heard before) and something snapped in me. I am tired of being verbally abused in my own home, I am tired of being taken advantage of and I am certainly sick of the he said, she said BS.
She got so loud and abusive my neighbor called the police, once they arrived I came in to get her and she had snuck out the backdoor. I later found out she had gone next door and ran into my other neighbor's house, didn't knock, just ran in. This particular neighbor is in stage 4 lung cancer and certainly didn't need this crap laid at his door. She showed back up minutes after they left and continued her tirade. A friend of hers that was here told me my daughter needed help (like I didn't know this) and took off walking to distance himself from the situation. When she took off after him, I called the police and gave them a description of what she was wearing, not they needed it, I am pretty sure she was the only brunette stomping through the neighborhood cursing anyone and everyone she encountered.
I really can only assume they picked her up but as I have had no further threatening phone calls I think it is a safe assumption. I then called her DHS caseworker and informed them of the happenings this morning. I expect this has cost her any opportunity of getting her son back or it might be the push she needed to get her butt in gear.
Either way, I keep telling myself, this is on her and her choices, her actions. I don't know what the coming weeks will bring but I hope that I am ready for it. One thing I am sure of is that you guys will be here for me to vent at if necessary.
Sorry for rambling and I suspect this is longer than I intended it to, I just had to get it out of my system and to someone or many someones who understand what I am going through.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I'm sorry you have had so much insanity in your home and a particularly trying day. It sounds as if you have finally reached your own bottom as a mom being emotionally abused by your kid.
This may sound uncaring, but I would urge you to stick to your guns and keep her out of the house. If she is skillful enough to find ways to steal from you and others and basically get what she needs to keep doing what she's doing, then she is smart enough to find somewhere else to live and to figure things out for herself. It's a lot easier to say no once they are out of the home then to kick them out in the first place. You deserve a peaceful home life and respect from your children. Gentle hugs - I hope you have a peaceful night.
This may sound uncaring, but I would urge you to stick to your guns and keep her out of the house. If she is skillful enough to find ways to steal from you and others and basically get what she needs to keep doing what she's doing, then she is smart enough to find somewhere else to live and to figure things out for herself. It's a lot easier to say no once they are out of the home then to kick them out in the first place. You deserve a peaceful home life and respect from your children. Gentle hugs - I hope you have a peaceful night.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Mayflower, AR
Posts: 416
Thank you greet 
Your words didn't sound uncaring at all just echoed what I already know in my head and feel in my heart. I suppose I did hit my rock bottom as a mother, never really thought about it that way. ((hugs)) and thanks again.
Your words didn't sound uncaring at all just echoed what I already know in my head and feel in my heart. I suppose I did hit my rock bottom as a mother, never really thought about it that way. ((hugs)) and thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Hello ladybug,
Have you read Codependent No More by Melody Beattie? It is a classic and gives a lot of overview about boundaries in relationships. There are some other boundary books too and a lot of threads here on SR on boundaries that might help you too if you search for them.
I hope you have a peaceful morning and keep the chaos out of your home.
Have you read Codependent No More by Melody Beattie? It is a classic and gives a lot of overview about boundaries in relationships. There are some other boundary books too and a lot of threads here on SR on boundaries that might help you too if you search for them.
I hope you have a peaceful morning and keep the chaos out of your home.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 276
Ladybug, I am beyond proud of you for taking a stand.
Often we feel that we should have done something sooner...I know I feel that way about my exAH & how long it's taken me to give him the boot.
But, to each thing, its own natural end...you can now feel assured that you've tried everything possible to help your daughter, and that what's most important now is your own health, safety & wellbeing, & your grand-baby.
Like you, I have had to tell myself over & over again that exAH's choices are HIS & that no one, including myself, can lead him to make the right ones if he doesn't want to.
I can say that I tried & that my conscience is clear...so can you.
Hugs for you & that little baby. You've done the right thing.
Often we feel that we should have done something sooner...I know I feel that way about my exAH & how long it's taken me to give him the boot.
But, to each thing, its own natural end...you can now feel assured that you've tried everything possible to help your daughter, and that what's most important now is your own health, safety & wellbeing, & your grand-baby.
Like you, I have had to tell myself over & over again that exAH's choices are HIS & that no one, including myself, can lead him to make the right ones if he doesn't want to.
I can say that I tried & that my conscience is clear...so can you.
Hugs for you & that little baby. You've done the right thing.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
