i dont like this
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: uk east yorkshire
Posts: 115
i dont like this
hi everyone, don't know a suitable title for this post.
ive been feeling very very down lately, just been put on anti depressants, trazodone 100mg, I was getting bad suicidal thoughts plus lack of motivation amongst other negative feelings.
ive been referred to see mental health team with the doctor advising I see a psychiatrist too.
but the littlest things I cant deal with, like if my wife snaps at me, my whole world closes in.
or when the opticians lost my glasses, my world closed in, I just went into melt down.
im 9 and half months sober now, and can honestly say im not enjoying it, im rarely happy.
am I doing something wrong , this is not a post asking for medical advice, ive merely stated how I feel, and what ive done so far to address it, ie spoke to my doctor etc, I till attend aa too.
ive been feeling very very down lately, just been put on anti depressants, trazodone 100mg, I was getting bad suicidal thoughts plus lack of motivation amongst other negative feelings.
ive been referred to see mental health team with the doctor advising I see a psychiatrist too.
but the littlest things I cant deal with, like if my wife snaps at me, my whole world closes in.
or when the opticians lost my glasses, my world closed in, I just went into melt down.
im 9 and half months sober now, and can honestly say im not enjoying it, im rarely happy.
am I doing something wrong , this is not a post asking for medical advice, ive merely stated how I feel, and what ive done so far to address it, ie spoke to my doctor etc, I till attend aa too.
Last edited by fastfocus; 06-14-2015 at 03:35 AM. Reason: spelling
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi fast focus
I'm sorry to hear you've been so depressed. That's really hard to deal with. You've done nothing wrong tho - depression is a no blame illness as far as I see it
I really hope the new meds help
As far as dealing with life goes, I had trouble too - I drank over anything and everything - but the more things I did sober the easier things got. It took a while tho - I had 40 years of 'unconditioning' to do.
why not post here a little more - you'll find tons of support?
D
I'm sorry to hear you've been so depressed. That's really hard to deal with. You've done nothing wrong tho - depression is a no blame illness as far as I see it
I really hope the new meds help
As far as dealing with life goes, I had trouble too - I drank over anything and everything - but the more things I did sober the easier things got. It took a while tho - I had 40 years of 'unconditioning' to do.
why not post here a little more - you'll find tons of support?
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Welcome to this great community.
It sounds like a real struggle you're going through. Are you in therapy along with the meds?
I found the first year of sobriety to be filled with emotional roller coaster times, depression and sadness were a familiar mode.
Therapy was really helpful.
I hope you'll stick around like Dee suggested and see if maybe some time and sharing here might be helpful for you too.
I'm sure that drinking won't help, so stick with us and give it a shot!
It sounds like a real struggle you're going through. Are you in therapy along with the meds?
I found the first year of sobriety to be filled with emotional roller coaster times, depression and sadness were a familiar mode.
Therapy was really helpful.
I hope you'll stick around like Dee suggested and see if maybe some time and sharing here might be helpful for you too.
I'm sure that drinking won't help, so stick with us and give it a shot!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 198
I'm sorry you are having a rough time, I know how you feel and can relate b/c I'm on the same meds you are. I struggle with being happy and appreciating the good things in life. I'm trying hard to see the positive in negative situations and keep in mind "things could always be worse". Something as simple as looking at myself in the mirror in the morning, taking a deep breath and smiling b/c I'm sober today, really helps me start off on a positive note for the day.
Hope this helps a little and one other thing - congrats on 9 1/2 months sober!!!
Hope this helps a little and one other thing - congrats on 9 1/2 months sober!!!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi FF im waiting on getting help for bouts of depression & anxiety my sobriety is one thing my mental health is another and i think you just done yourself a service talking about it
Way to go on 9.5 months & good for you seeking help
Way to go on 9.5 months & good for you seeking help
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I'm really sorry you're going through this.
I'm so glad that you are getting help and trying medication and counselling. I hope that both of those things make a big difference in your life. Have faith that you will get past this.
I'm so glad that you are getting help and trying medication and counselling. I hope that both of those things make a big difference in your life. Have faith that you will get past this.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hopefully the new medication will start to work!!
For me moving away from a life fuelled by alcohol to one lived without my favourite escape took some time, small things were huge when trying to do them for the first time without alcohol.
Hang in there!!
For me moving away from a life fuelled by alcohol to one lived without my favourite escape took some time, small things were huge when trying to do them for the first time without alcohol.
Hang in there!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
am I doing something wrong , this is not a post asking for medical advice, ive merely stated how I feel, and what ive done so far to address it, ie spoke to my doctor etc, I till attend aa too.[/QUOTE]
I think you are doing everything right, you made an appointment with the mental health team, and are here posting. Both are very good steps to help you deal with how you are feeling.
Keep us posted on how your appointments go.
I think you are doing everything right, you made an appointment with the mental health team, and are here posting. Both are very good steps to help you deal with how you are feeling.
Keep us posted on how your appointments go.
I hope the meds kick in and give you some relief. Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 770
You are not doing anything wrong. Depression is a tricky thing bc in cases where people have situational depression it can be helped by doing little things (exercise , gratitude lists etc . But when peoplehave clinical depression it wouldn't matter if someone gave them a million dollars and a hundred puppies they would still have depression it can't just magically go away the same way cancer can't just magically go away.
I beat myself up all the time, in fsct, if I didn't have other close friends who struggle with it too I don't know what I would do. We do everything to feel better: therapy, meds, no meds, homeopathic meds, exercises, support groups, I could go on forever with the things we've tried and the ridiculous things people have told us to "get rid of depression " (just drink warm milk and look at the ocean)
There are a lot of different books and resources out there on topics like depression now, which is great , reducing the stigma is great . I'm sure if yiu find a good therapist yiu will be able to develop tools that are going to help you. Know that you are not alone, there r lots of people in long term sobriety who still struggle with things like depression, and no, we are not doing anything wrong
I beat myself up all the time, in fsct, if I didn't have other close friends who struggle with it too I don't know what I would do. We do everything to feel better: therapy, meds, no meds, homeopathic meds, exercises, support groups, I could go on forever with the things we've tried and the ridiculous things people have told us to "get rid of depression " (just drink warm milk and look at the ocean)
There are a lot of different books and resources out there on topics like depression now, which is great , reducing the stigma is great . I'm sure if yiu find a good therapist yiu will be able to develop tools that are going to help you. Know that you are not alone, there r lots of people in long term sobriety who still struggle with things like depression, and no, we are not doing anything wrong
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
100 mg of Trazadone is a very low dose. Maybe you need to add another medication in addition or increase your dosage? The docs will be able to assist you there. I take 100 mg of Trazadone nightly to help me sleep. But I also take a couple other psych meds as well. Good luck
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Hi fastfocus.
First off, congrats on 9 and a half months sober! What an accomplishment.
I can say, throughout my life, before I drank and while quitting, I have often felt the same way. I think you may have a lot to deal with. Seems we may have some things in common, I was reading old threads here on SR last night.
I have Tourette's and also a history of an abusive upbringing.
Living with all this makes life hard. It makes sense to me that one might be sensitive and feel unable to cope with everyday situations from time to time or for extended periods of time.
I really doubt you are doing anything wrong.
First off, congrats on 9 and a half months sober! What an accomplishment.
I can say, throughout my life, before I drank and while quitting, I have often felt the same way. I think you may have a lot to deal with. Seems we may have some things in common, I was reading old threads here on SR last night.
I have Tourette's and also a history of an abusive upbringing.
Living with all this makes life hard. It makes sense to me that one might be sensitive and feel unable to cope with everyday situations from time to time or for extended periods of time.
I really doubt you are doing anything wrong.
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