Tetra

I made a mistake.
No I haven't been drinking.
Will my parents forgive me?

SansaS

what's happened? are you ok?

Tetra

Yes, I am okay.

DuhDave

Are your Parents OK ?

Tetra

Yeah, they were fine when I spoke to them yesterday.

mecanix

The old adage is "to err is human , to forgive is Devine " .

I'm sure your parents will love you whatever has happened Tetra , even if the suffer some disappointment or anger short term .

Stay strong in your sobriety ,

m

Marcher13

Tetra I think if you have forgiven yourself then it doesn't matter what your parents think.

lunar

What's the mistake, Tetra?

Tetra

I'm not sure how to say this because I know that dating is frowned upon in the first year of sobriety. But basically I have met someone. I like him. I want to keep it all free and easy. No pressure. I told my parents I was staying with one of my girlfriends but I wasn't.
So I told a lie and now I feel really ashamed.

MarathonMan

Its your life you can date who you want when you want. If you're parents don't like it tough, you're a grown up....they are wrong if they feel there is anything to forgive and its a shame you couldnt just be up front with them.

Tetra

I feel bad for lying.
It's what we do.

Notimetoloose

I am learning that shame or the feelings of being ashamed needs to be used sparingly if at all...we are human and for the best part doing our best...

I am not saying that telling lies is okay...but sometimes a white lie is the very thing that is needed to help with the fluidity of of everyday life, not to mention socialising.

Dee74

I think you're old enough to make your own decision Tetra.
I also think you're old enough not to have to lie to your folks.

I don't run all my ideas or life events past my folks - I don't need their approval

D

lunar

Do you think your folks
would approve, if this were to
occur a year from now, instead?
I have to agree with MMan, Tetra.
You've no reason to feel ashamed.

Tetra

Well I feel like I should tell them.
I'm tired of hiding things.

lighter

That's a pity. Are you an adult? (sorry, just asking if you're old enough to make your own mind up).

Best solution: explain what you did, why you did it, and say sorry.

They may be angry about it. They will probably forgive you sooner or later.

MarathonMan

If I were you tetra id tell them as even though the thing you have done needs no explaining those feelings of shame etc are counter productive for you. Remember to be assertive though, youve done nothing wrong and no one should have their life or actions ruled by others.

Enjoy the person you have met, new relationships, courtship and love are the greatest things this life has to offer, dont let it ge ruined by over annalysis and mis placed feelings of guilt. Be care free and laugh, flirt and have fun.....

lighter

She lied. That's wrong. None of the rest of it is wrong, IMHO.

MarathonMan

I personally dont think the lie is wrong....if I want something kept private that is my perogative, if asked about something I didnt want to share I would lie or evade the truth. We are all entitled to our privacy/secrets.

amp123

Sounds a little counter productive to me?

If you're talking about complex interpersonal relationships taking a "black/white" attitude is pretty much unsustainable.

I lied to my mum yesterday about something my sister said to spare her feelings. I don't feel bad and know it was the right thing to do for all concerned...