I have nothing left to give
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
I have nothing left to give
Does it come down to a dirty shirt?
AH did 90 days and got his chip, and then felt a letdown which started him drinking again. So he's been kind of on-again-off-again.
As an aside, today I got a phone from alcoholic brother, who had a brief relapse and is now back on the wagon, but someone stole $300 and so he has no more money until the 3rd of July when he gets his SSI so he asked me for $100.
We are very lucky to see our grandson tomorrow, because DDIL is adamant about boundaries related to AHs drinking. So we've been sprucing up the house, and AH has been mowing and trimming and repairing, etc. etc. I bought DGS a little sprinkler pool.
Then I noticed the shirt. Last month we attended a mini-college reunion at a friend's house in FL. AH had NOTHING to wear because his personal hygiene has been poor. I went to Marshall's one day to buy myself some shoes, and I saw a couple of shirts that would be nice for him and so I bought them.
Today, sitting and talking to him I realized he was wearing the brand new shirt. There was lawn mower grease, dirt, and sweat all over it. I don't know why, but I just popped. He has probably about 30 really badly worn shirts in his closet and he wore the shirt I bought him (despite incredible debt) and he ruined it.
It just seemed SO emblematic of the whole relationship. I brought it up to him and he apologized, and he said it wasn't like that.. but I can't get over it. Between my brother begging me for $100 and my AH ruining a brand new shirt that I bought him, I am just feeling that I am at my absolute limit.
I need Cheryl Richardson, or anyone else that can hammer into my head the concept of self-care.
AH did 90 days and got his chip, and then felt a letdown which started him drinking again. So he's been kind of on-again-off-again.
As an aside, today I got a phone from alcoholic brother, who had a brief relapse and is now back on the wagon, but someone stole $300 and so he has no more money until the 3rd of July when he gets his SSI so he asked me for $100.
We are very lucky to see our grandson tomorrow, because DDIL is adamant about boundaries related to AHs drinking. So we've been sprucing up the house, and AH has been mowing and trimming and repairing, etc. etc. I bought DGS a little sprinkler pool.
Then I noticed the shirt. Last month we attended a mini-college reunion at a friend's house in FL. AH had NOTHING to wear because his personal hygiene has been poor. I went to Marshall's one day to buy myself some shoes, and I saw a couple of shirts that would be nice for him and so I bought them.
Today, sitting and talking to him I realized he was wearing the brand new shirt. There was lawn mower grease, dirt, and sweat all over it. I don't know why, but I just popped. He has probably about 30 really badly worn shirts in his closet and he wore the shirt I bought him (despite incredible debt) and he ruined it.
It just seemed SO emblematic of the whole relationship. I brought it up to him and he apologized, and he said it wasn't like that.. but I can't get over it. Between my brother begging me for $100 and my AH ruining a brand new shirt that I bought him, I am just feeling that I am at my absolute limit.
I need Cheryl Richardson, or anyone else that can hammer into my head the concept of self-care.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Ah Solo. I just logged in today after being off this forum for 8 months. (I had to go look at my profile to see when I last posted, lol.)
I don't know the story behind this 90 in 90 that seems to have failed, but it appears to me you are still either A) trying to get him sober or B) trying to figure out how to be happy living with a drunk.
Maybe it's time to consider other options?
L
I don't know the story behind this 90 in 90 that seems to have failed, but it appears to me you are still either A) trying to get him sober or B) trying to figure out how to be happy living with a drunk.
Maybe it's time to consider other options?
L
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Thanks, LTD! I haven't been around much either, so it's coincidence that we're both here today.. I told AH around New Year's that I was NOT going to do Year 11 of drinking (post his relapse in 2004) so I am going to have to honor my commitment. I have no reason not to. Life is too short. I was hoping the New Year's sobriety was going to stick, but...
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