Nan_Vina7

I spent the day in court again today and just don't know where to go next or how much fuller my plate can get! Don't mean to whine but........have one son in prison for meth (crystal meth) use and have had to quit working to take care of his boys while their mom goes through rehab. May 1st my other son and his wife lost their 3 kids to the same. They were put in protective cusody about 2 weeks ago and we were suppose to have court today to find out their destiny and ended up hearing the parents bail set at $75,000 and $150,00 for getting stopped yesterday and having the stuff to manufacture meth in their car and apparently quite a bit of it. I just don't know how much more I can take and there are no local support groups and I don't need someone to just feel sorry for me. I am doing enough of that myself (lol)! I am drowning financially and mentally and my body is not liking it either. Where can a family go and what can we for these five kids involved, three of which will have to now say both of my parents are in prison.

Thanks for listening if nothing else.

Sandy Marie

Hi Nan,
Just take care of yourself and the babies and let the rest go. They'll thank you later.

splendra

((((VAN))))

I have not seen you here befor so I want to welcome you to SR...

Your situation sounds pretty tough. But, unless you are weathy I believe you could get AFDC, food stamps and, medicade for your grandchildren if you are not recieving any outside support for them. Go to your local dept of social services and see if you qualify for assistance. The kids probably need counseling which you could get through medicade. Don't be too proud to get this help you have a tremendous burden and should take all the help you can get.

Also you need to get to some alanon or naranon meetings to learn about how you can cope with your addicted children. Come here too and post and get all the emotional support you can from us. I am sure that others will be along soon to give you support.

(((((((((BIG HUG))))))) to you and your grandchildren....

Sandy Marie

Hi Nan,
Splendra offers excellent advice.

usatoday

Hello Nan,
I agree with Sandy and Splendra. There's so much support you can rely on. My prayers are with you. Please look to our other forums and post as often as you feel. Please take care of the young ones. I know they look up to you.

scared2ask

Hi Nan, I will pray for you too--for strength, for peace of mind, and for healing of your broken heart and wounded spirit. I know first hand what this drug can do to a family. It is overwhelming but you have done something good for yourself by just seeking out some support form this website! Keep taking care of YOU!
P.S. Medicaid IS an option. It is generally half funded by the Federal gov't. and the other half by the individual state you live in so the benefits and the guidelines can vary from state to state. If the children are placed with you by the State of IL instead of your kids just handing them over without giving you guardianship, it will make a difference in your ability to get assistance. You have to have legal custody/guardianship--even if it's only for the amount of time the parents are to be in jail--in order to receive benefits for those minor children. There are often financial as well medical benefits available for each child placed in your custody, but as I said it varies from state to state. Contact your local Medicaid office (State Welfare).

mooselips

Hiya Nan,
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
You will find alot of support for you here.
I am also the mother of 2 addict sons. One is currently using, the other in court ordered rehab for seeling/using meth.
My youngest is 26, the other, 30.

Yes, it's a great idea to apply for all the help you can get for the grandchildren. Before you crash and burn over all of this drama, do you have any family members to help you?

My thoughts and prayers are coming your way....

Alot of parents post on the nar-anon forum, we'd be happy to have you join us...

Hugs.......

Chy

Welcome!
Please stop by our Nar-Anon, and Friends and Family forums for added support! *hugs*

abtchonamission

I don't know about your area, but here they have Codependents Anonymous meetings as well as Al-anon and Nar-anon.

dotcom

hello nan,

best wishes. hang in there!

longboarder

emmanuel2012

the worst place for a drug user is in prison. it is sad, because many drug users are not of the violent type, and they are actaully pretty intelliegent and creative. what a waste! i suspect that you should reconsider the phrase : "meth is killing our family" to: "the government is killing our family".....im sorry but if he is prison just for use and possession, there must be something else up in the government. they are now targeting meth users more than ever! think hard now:has your son ever been "anti-government" ? meth itself seems to breed a desire for disseminating and dismantling the structure of our restrictive government. it has with me, and even though i am off meth now successfully for 6 months, i still have problems respecting our authorities. they suck. police sck.the fbi sucks. the court sucks. the drug war sucks. the dea sucks. and on and on and on. just becase im clean now doesnt mean i have to watch the government do this to people. im fed up with it. these people caught with drugs without weapons or the intentionality to hurt people need to be freed to better recovery facilities...or else theyll never accomplish their dreams... do think that a Bible and a 12-Step book really fosters recovery? don't count on it. FORCING people to be sober via jail is a waste of tax-payers money, in my humble opinion. it costs more tax money to keep your son off drugs in jail for six months than hes ever spent on drugs in his whole life. is it worth it? but i digress, because there is nothing you can really do at this point. remember to forgive your son and take those kids to the jail as much as possible!!!! i mean this! okay, im sorry for the rant. peace

dotcom

um, wow, that was quite an amazing blame throwing post there. if you break the law, you pay consequences. im in the middle of paying consequences and so i know what im talking about. the government is not perfect, and yes they are out to get meth users so your paranoia is not unfounded. isnt it insane how they want to put junkies who steal lie and continually and nonviolently break the law by violating probation? that last sentence was bursting with sarcasm. if you couldnt tell. suck it up emmanuel and dont tell people the government is out to get them. some people have issues with paranoia, blame throwing, and all that jazz and what you just said is an amazing display of enabling of olympic proportions.

okay, im done.

Nan_Vina7

thank you for all your kind, supportive words, even the paranoid ones because you know there is some truth to what he says and it is his opoinon and thats ok. I know it takes sometimes prison to get off the drug but I also know after a lot of research there are other more positive options out there if those in authority were interested in investigating. I am dealing with so many emotions lately I don't know which one to trust. Drugs are a crime and there should be consequences but the whole family is paying and this just seems a quick fix. My one son in prison now got more time than some murderers in the prison with him...............is this right? Ohhhh well really didn't mean to ramble but rather to say thank you for your support and kind words and thoughts.

Lavina

Sigh

Hi emmanuel,

My son, is 26 years old and fighting a heroin addiction. Your anti-government views, your views on drugs, the way you imply it's the government that will destroy you not drugs, sounds so very familiar to me. I have heard almost the exact same speech from my son, only switch meth for heroin. My son is very bright, as I suspect you are.

The thing is, I heard that speech from him when he was either detoxing or high on heroin.

You ask if a 12-Step book really fosters recovery? I absolutely know 12 step programs can be successful. I have seen both my brothers recover from addiction within a 12 step program. My son is now going to N/A after completing detox and 3 months in a recovery program (The Salvation Army). He's doing very well for the first time.
Also the al-anon and nar-anon offer information and support to the friends and families of those with addictions that is extremely helpful. Within nar-anon I've personally learned a lot which has improved my ability to understand and relate to my son. I love my son very much and I hope with all my heart he beats this awful addiction.

Getting off meth and stayin off it for six months is something you can be very proud of, I wish you continued success. I hope you have many people around you that are supportive because an addict alone is in bad company.

sigh

Cangel

From what I have seen prison does not rehabilitate a drug addict, it didn't my AH and it did not help his brother. Thank the lord my AH found strength and faith in his Highter Power to get his life back on track, has been clean for 11 months now (yippeee).

3 years ago when my AH was at another bad time in his life, he went to prison but instead of just doing time, he requested that they send him to a detox in prison and the prison referred him to the Salvation Army.

Hang in there, you have to live your life otherwise you will hurt for a long time until you start worrying about yourself.