Some encouragement
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: SC
Posts: 19
Some encouragement
I first posted here back in February of this year and expressed my desire to quit drinking. After some intense battles and losses to cravings, I took my last drink on March 3.
Now, I am 99 days sober, and I want to give some encouragement to anyone who is feeling alone and trapped by their addiction. Things can get better. They really can.
I read this forum almost every day, but I don't ever post because so many people have had wonderful advice and encouragement to give, and I haven't felt that I've had much to add to the wealth of knowledge and encouragement here.
Today I decided to post because I can see how my life is transforming, and I know that there are many reading this forum who are stuck in the pain, sickness, and sorrow that I myself experienced for so long. During that time I thought that changing my circumstances would change my drinking, but that never worked. On the other side of this, I thought that if I got sober, life would all of a sudden fix itself and I would be the person I always wanted to be.
Today, I have freedom. Freedom from what? The reality for me is that I have freedom from myself. During my life, I have faced rejections and failures, and kept pointing the finger at other people and my circumstances. I thought that if I changed those things, I myself would change at a fundamental level. Unfortunately, the one thing I needed to change was myself.
This type of change hasn't been easy, and it has taken practical steps on my part. First, I've needed accountability, which I get through going to meetings and having a sponsor. Second, I've had to take an honest look at my life and my motivation for my attitude and actions. Third, I've had to learn to forgive others and forgive myself.
While there is much work yet for me to do, I can honestly say that my life is much different than it ever has been. For the first time in my adult life, I can call myself a happy person, because I know that I'm not in control of circumstances or other people, and because I can enjoy being a small part of the magnificent, beautiful picture that is the universe. Because I am free from trying to force the universe into orbit around my person, I am free from the burden such an attitude creates. When something doesn't go my way, I can work through disappointment knowing that it's not my place to orchestrate the ends and the means. I'm experiencing freedom to be a good husband, father, friend, and servant to others.
At the same time, I can't ever forget what living in the bottle was like. The sickness and sorrow must remain fresh in my mind, because if it doesn't, I know I will go out and drink, and give my freedom up to alcohol. As long as I recognize my alcoholism for what it is and remember the wretched state in which I lived, the experience and freedom of sober living will shine brighter and brighter every day as I grow into who I was meant to be. For me, sobriety isn't just "not drinking." While that is the foundation, sobriety is also living and learning, changing and growing.
I hope someone finds this encouraging, and I hope that many others will experience the same freedom and sense of purpose that I have today. It's not an easy road, but this road has many along the way who can help guide you and remind you where you are going.
Now, I am 99 days sober, and I want to give some encouragement to anyone who is feeling alone and trapped by their addiction. Things can get better. They really can.
I read this forum almost every day, but I don't ever post because so many people have had wonderful advice and encouragement to give, and I haven't felt that I've had much to add to the wealth of knowledge and encouragement here.
Today I decided to post because I can see how my life is transforming, and I know that there are many reading this forum who are stuck in the pain, sickness, and sorrow that I myself experienced for so long. During that time I thought that changing my circumstances would change my drinking, but that never worked. On the other side of this, I thought that if I got sober, life would all of a sudden fix itself and I would be the person I always wanted to be.
Today, I have freedom. Freedom from what? The reality for me is that I have freedom from myself. During my life, I have faced rejections and failures, and kept pointing the finger at other people and my circumstances. I thought that if I changed those things, I myself would change at a fundamental level. Unfortunately, the one thing I needed to change was myself.
This type of change hasn't been easy, and it has taken practical steps on my part. First, I've needed accountability, which I get through going to meetings and having a sponsor. Second, I've had to take an honest look at my life and my motivation for my attitude and actions. Third, I've had to learn to forgive others and forgive myself.
While there is much work yet for me to do, I can honestly say that my life is much different than it ever has been. For the first time in my adult life, I can call myself a happy person, because I know that I'm not in control of circumstances or other people, and because I can enjoy being a small part of the magnificent, beautiful picture that is the universe. Because I am free from trying to force the universe into orbit around my person, I am free from the burden such an attitude creates. When something doesn't go my way, I can work through disappointment knowing that it's not my place to orchestrate the ends and the means. I'm experiencing freedom to be a good husband, father, friend, and servant to others.
At the same time, I can't ever forget what living in the bottle was like. The sickness and sorrow must remain fresh in my mind, because if it doesn't, I know I will go out and drink, and give my freedom up to alcohol. As long as I recognize my alcoholism for what it is and remember the wretched state in which I lived, the experience and freedom of sober living will shine brighter and brighter every day as I grow into who I was meant to be. For me, sobriety isn't just "not drinking." While that is the foundation, sobriety is also living and learning, changing and growing.
I hope someone finds this encouraging, and I hope that many others will experience the same freedom and sense of purpose that I have today. It's not an easy road, but this road has many along the way who can help guide you and remind you where you are going.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 39
Wow, thank you for taking the time to write such a thorough and articulate overview as to the direction of your life post alcohol. Sounds like your on the right trajectory. I was very encouraged by your post and am beginning to experience much of the feelings you describe. Especially appreciate the paragraph on Freedom. My relationship with Alcohol was very much one of slavery and bondage to the drinking lifestyle i once loved and ultimately grew to hate. Very thankful to be on the right path now. Take care my friend. Be Strong.
Blessings
John
Blessings
John
And congrats on 99 days sober! 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: SC
Posts: 19
Thanks for the kind words, everyone!
To those of you who are still just a few days into your sobriety: anyone can change and experience freedom in sobriety. I am convinced that every single person is capable of change. It just takes honesty and humility.
My life consisted of instant gratification, dishonesty, and pride. Because my efforts in self-sufficiency and control proved futile every day, I drank. Letting go of those things has given me a new perspective on life.
I used to think this was just a cliche, but we really have to take it a day at a time. Don't let yourself be consumed by worry over what tomorrow might bring. The direction and momentum of the universe are out of your hands. Focus on responding to cravings and situations as they arise. Building daily habits can make all the difference in the world.
To those of you who are still just a few days into your sobriety: anyone can change and experience freedom in sobriety. I am convinced that every single person is capable of change. It just takes honesty and humility.
My life consisted of instant gratification, dishonesty, and pride. Because my efforts in self-sufficiency and control proved futile every day, I drank. Letting go of those things has given me a new perspective on life.
I used to think this was just a cliche, but we really have to take it a day at a time. Don't let yourself be consumed by worry over what tomorrow might bring. The direction and momentum of the universe are out of your hands. Focus on responding to cravings and situations as they arise. Building daily habits can make all the difference in the world.
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