thomas11

I just need to post. My only modes of transportation right now are wheelchair and walker. I can't drive and won't be able to for at least another month. I'm supposed to be taking it easy...and its impossible. I left the house yesterday at 7AM and didn't get back to the house until 6:48PM, I was busy as hell again today. I made my work list for tomorrow and I have 14 things on that list. Between all the work that encompasses running a construction related business and dealing with all the medical professionals (therapy, dr. visits for updates etc...) I am busier than ever. Not to mention all the phone calls from everyone wanting an "update". I should be thankful for all the caring people, but for crying out loud, I'm so squeezed for time, phone calls to chit chat are a complete waste of time. Worse yet, the narcotics are wreaking havoc on my memory. If I don't enter into a spreadsheet, or my computer calendar and take it everywhere on my clipboard I will definitively forget. Lastly, I am great in the morning until about 1PM, then I'm done. My batteries are dead, no energy, pain levels are elevated and now I'm noticing the swelling in my legs has increased and I know why. I'm doing more than I'm supposed to be.

I cannot just sit around here feeling sorry for myself, I have to get out and do as much as I can. In my line of work we make about 50% of our annual income from now and September. I'm not sure how to approach this. I do not want to lose any business, but I also want to follow the protocol the Dr.'s have outlined for me which includes "don't over do it" from everyone. On top of this, they want me to attend 2 physical therapy sessions a week, my first one being today. I could try and talk about this with someone but they wouldn't care anyway, its not their problem. If I talk about work related stuff with my wife she looks at me like I'm speaking German (regarding work projects etc..) , she's incredibly supportive but just doesn't understand. Nor do I expect her to.

Dee74

Maybe this is one of those opportunities to learn to delegate Jeff?

Is there anyone you work with who could do a little more of the day to day stuff?
D

thomas11

yes, and I know that's the only logical way to navigate this. I have a few awesome guys, but they are new, so I need to not only train them in but they need to know where all of my suppliers and vendors are for materials etc...so they can go pick up materials for jobs, I either have accounts with the business or I trust them with the business credit card. I've been doing this and telling them to pay attention to where these locations are because I may need them to make a run, and they need to know where they are going.

Dee74

Thats great, mate

I think it's an important move not only for now...but even when you're back up on your feet again soon, Jeff.

A life out of balance (whether too much work or too much play) can lead us back down some familiar but self destructive roads.

A little less stress might do you wonders Jeff

D

ScottFromWI

Dee has a great point regarding delgation. Just because you temporarily don't have use of your legs, that doesn't mean you lost use of your mind. Let your employees be your legs for a bit...I bet you will be surprised how much they can learn from you even if you can't physically work with them on site.

Marcher13

Thomas I have a small business too so I appreciate where you are coming from but really, what is the most important thing here, the 50% annual income between now and September or your mobility and sobriety? Without the latter two you can kiss the business goodbye anyway.

If you are going to meet the protocols set by your medical team and achieve your sobriety -- and the physiotherapy is likely to be very time consuming -- then maybe it's time to rethink all of this. Get a PA (personal assistant) who can carry out your wishes and delegate to the current team. You're still the boss and the brains, go in for a few hours a day, then take yourself away and do what you need to do for your well-being.

And those chit chat calls? I suggest you make a regular update message on your answering machine to inform people your health and progress -- it'll save you telling the story over and over again. Ask each caller to leave a name and number and during the second half of each day make some calls back and have a bit of chit-chat, those people phoning are the ones that really care.

This is a golden opportunity for you to really turn your life in the direction you really want to go.

OCDDan

if i could, i'd volunteer some time to help you, reality, I'm too far away and have no license. you'll probably have to cut some of your losses, take the low hanging fruit. you'll get through this and be stronger in the end.

thomas11

"what is the most important thing here, the 50% annual income between now and September or your mobility and sobriety? Without the latter two you can kiss the business goodbye anyway."

Hi Marcher, certainly can't argue with that. 100% true. You offer solid advice, I've never been through any of this before so I'm winging it. I'll get it figured out but first thing I'm doing this morning is holding a meeting and let everyone know my concern. The focus will be on the business operations, not myself. I'll take care of myself. But they may be putting in long hours and that just the way it is. They are paid hourly and a couple are paid quite handsomely I might ad. Time to earn it.

thomas11

OCSSan, your too kind brother. I'm not a facebook guy but I do have an account, maybe I'll throw it out there and see if someone wants to step up. I know I had a high school classmate who had a stroke a couple years ago and was in the hospital for a length of time, they needed help with yard work. I offered to do his yardwork for the entire summer for free. You know just to help the poor guy out. Maybe someone else would be willing to give me a hand a couple days a week. You guys are great. Well off to start kicking ass today. Hope to be home early today.

Regarding sobriety, hasn't crossed my mind. When I get healthy it will be a new battle, i'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

zjw

I hope this works out for you. having been in simlier situations myself my luck was never so good people who said they'd help didnt and if people did help they'd never help where needed.

It can be so hard for me to even ask for help. which is one of my own personal demons to then to be met with the issues I was met with.

BUT
Sometimes you simply have to ask for help. After you do what you can you sometimes just gotta let the pieces fall where they may whatever will be will be go with the flow and hope for a better day tommorrow etc..

We always hear about a cheerful giver but we never hear about a cheerful reciever. I know one individual who will gladly accept help with a smile and ask for it too. I tell myself I should pay attention to this person I could learn a thing or two rather then running myself ragged.

Your only one person you got the cards stacked against you how many hats can you wear? Its ok.

Venecia

Sometimes, when a serious illness or injury strikes, people set up a Caring Bridge website to keep others informed. Maybe that would help.

And you only have to discuss as much as you want in a CB site. You can leave it at the recovery from your injuries if you want.

SoberLeigh

Great advice here, Jeff. Heal and delegate!!!!

Saskia

And the phone! It felt so freeing when I went to mobile only. I have a tune that isn't loud and volume is such that I can hear it if it's near me but not if I'm in the bedroom (if I'm expecting a call I can't miss, I keep it with me). One of the hardest things for me was to NOT automatically answer it. When I see who is calling, I make a split-second decision about answering :-)

Even with landline, it's ok to just let it ring :-)

courage2

Thomas, I can definitely relate. I had an unfortunately long period in early recovery when I could barely work, and awkward doesn't begin to describe how it would have been for me to take the year away that I probably needed.

The really big thing I did -- I hired a personal assistant. At first I found a volunteer -- it was under the disguise of an internship -- but later I was able to pay. This person's job, especially at the beginning, was to write things down for me, to schedule my calendar, to write and respond to emails for me, even to make sure I ate, some days. It was incredibly helpful and a big learning thing for me. For decades I'd been putting way too much stuff on myself, and I'll never do that again, I hope. I'm better for having learned to ask for help -- and by the way, my former intern is doing splendidly, helped in part by my recommendations.

thomas11

Thanks guys, you have all offered wonderful advice (and encouragement that this can be achieved). I am putting the men to the test today based on your advice. I have given them the responsibility of getting all the materials staged at our next job. So they will be doing a lot of driving and loading and unloading.

so enough about work, this is an addiction and recovery website. I dont' know how many days it has been since I've drank, but its around 16-17. This past weekend the thoughts crept into my head about having a nice stiff one (out of habit I'm sure), and I don't see that going away easily or quickly. My primary concern now is narcotics. Never been a pill popper, but they have me on a pretty aggressive pain management program and have told me DO NOT GET BEHIND on your pain meds. I'm starting to wonder if I am at risk of withdrawal or god forbid addiction. to be perfectly honest they do their job in managing the pain, but they also make me feel pretty good. They keep me calm and functional with the exception of my short term memory...its horrible. The last damn thing I need is to be battling pills along with the problem drinking I have had in the past. I guess I need to take my own advice... baby steps and one day at a time. Do what you can do, and be satisfied with that for now. Tackle the larger issues when its time.

thomas11

God I'm a needy person aren't I?

courage2

We all are. All human beings are -- even those who aren't alcoholics & addicts. The difference is, a lot of those of us here have to learn how to ask for help, and learn how to accept it.

CaseyW

Have you discussed your concerns about possible addiction to the pills with the doctors?

DuhDave

I can relate to this. I was in business and was growing very weary with "Overload" There just wer'nt enough seconds in the day to address every little detail of exactly how I wanted things done and a outcome expected and produced.

Company moral was at a low point until I had a intervention with my floor supervisors. Upper mgmnt was not invited except for me.

I learned the most important rule in business that day...a rule I had known before but...forgot. Do NOT "Micro-Manage" !

I was guilty ! It became obvious to two of my floor managers when, during a company outing, I was trying to tell the guy cooking hotdogs and hamburger on the grill exactly HOW thy should be cooked !

I'am so grateful to those guy's and gals that stood up, stepped up and brought this to my attention! Come to find out later they were scared it would'nt have turned out as well as it had. Even they were fearful of me. I just didnt realize it.

It finally occured to me what changes needed to be made in myself and my way of running...errr..."Doing" business. With my staff's input I felt like a new man before long.
After that...moral and production increased and I felt I had a ton of weight taken off my shoulders !

Not really saying anything other than I wish I had done this years ago. When you are feeling overwhelmed, Take a good look around, talk it up with your people, get some feedback and dont try to do everything yourself...your way !

Just saying.

DD