Serenidad

I just need to vent. Yesterday our dog died. I'm heart-broken. I held him while they put him to sleep. I kept telling him I loved him until he took his last breath. :-( He was really old and sick but it was still so hard!!!

This morning I found out our daughter didn't make the soccer team she tried out for. She's heart-broken about our dog and not making the team. I feel so bad for her.

I'm struggling to stay sober, I'm exhausted, I'm depressed, I'm full of fear, anxiety, guilt and shame.

Our finances are a disaster from me drinking so much of our money away. Our house is a mess. I don't have a job. I gained almost 40 pounds during my relapse so I feel like a fat ass. My self-esteem is gone. I feel like my kids & husband hate me. I feel like I have no friends. I feel like the world hates me. I just feel like curling up in a ball and never getting up or running away....far far away....but wherever I go....I take me with me.

My life WAS good. Then I relapsed. The mess seems so big. The mountain so high. I am sober right now but I clearly understand why people have such a hard time getting and staying sober. Sometimes it's all so overwhelming. Sometimes I just want to numb the pain.

God help me. I'm in a bad place. Life is so hard right now. I just want to be happy again. I know things could me MUCH worse and some people are suffering so much more than me....but things could be better too. The sad part is I did this to MYSELF!

Sorry to depress you all. I just needed to get that out before it swallowed me whole. :-( Can't stop crying...

least

You have my sympathy on your dog's death. It's so hard to lose a beloved pet. They are our furry kids and it hurts so bad to lose them.

Anna

I'm very sorry for the loss of your beloved pet, Serenidad.

What you need to do, in my opinion, is to take action, any action, something small that will help you move forward. You could start exercising, plan a healthy diet, get your resume together and do a job search, anything. There are an endless number of things you can do, of actions you can take, to begin to move yourself forward. What can you do today?

doggonecarl

Sorry for what you are going through.

Not to diminish your own problems, but people all over are undergoing terrible hardships, sadness, and tragedy, as you pointed out in your post. And they are suffering through it without drinking.

So can you.

Leshar

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved pet. It must be terribly hard.
Please try and stay strong. Drinking will not help. Your family needs you.
Sending you good vibes and courage.

ClearLight

You're in a hole right now. Sorry to hear about your dog and your daughter.

I'm right in that depression hole right now too. You can climb out. Inch by inch is how I'm planning to do it. You CAN do it too.

It is good you posted to get it out.

SoberCupcake

Just think that everything could be even worse if you drunk

Berrybean

So sorry about your dog - it's fine to feel sad about that. And cry, and grieve with your family.

It sounds like the sadness and stress of the day has opened the floodgates a bit. *Hug*. Things will get better (as long as you stay sober).

ccam1973

Stay strong Serenidad. I know it seems insurmountable, but you can make it through this.

So sorry to hear about your dog. Our animals are a huge part of our family as well. Truly sorry...

As other's have said, you know drinking will only make everything worse.

Make small adjustments to your life style and daily routine today. If you start now you will look back and see that they all added up. Just like stopping drinking, take baby steps to achieve your goals. Once you see you are making progress, I think you will find it easier and more rewarding to take bigger strides.

We are here for you.

FarToGo

Lots and lots of love and good vibes to Serenidad and Clearlight,
"this too will pass" xxx

Surrender2win

((((Serenidad))) So sorry you are going through a horrible time. It's heart wrenching to lose a beloved pet. I feel for you and your daughter. Heartbreaking for sure, but it will be so much worse if you drink. Stay strong.

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear about your Dog serenidad, it is a sad day to lose a pet for anyone.

Regarding your statement above, you do know of course that drinking will make you more full of fear, more anxious and give you additional guilt and shame.

You had mentioned last week that June 2 was going to be the day that you started using SR, church, exercise and therapy as your new method of dealing with all of these things. Have you been following through on those? You need to take action.

Soberintexas007

Hi serenidad, I only have 4 days today, but I have been doing well despite living with an active alcoholic because of AA, SR, exercise each day, diet, individual therapy, and pursuing things for my future career. You need to find something that gives you meaning and purpose in your life.

INgal

I'm sorry to hear about these setbacks, Serenidad. Nothing but time will help with your dog, but know it will get easier.
As far as your daughter, I totally understand. It's so much worse when bad things happen to innocent kids. Even though it's tough, give her lots of praise for trying out...it takes so much strength to go through that. I hope she has another soccer outlet, club leAgue, or town soccer possibly? If she lives it she will keep at it and if you're supportive & sober it will mean the world to her.
Nothing is hopeless, NOTHING. Sometimes it just feels that way. Big hugs to you!

mns1

Hey Serenidad, that sounds really difficult. But the fact that you haven't given in to drinking yet is saying something.

Sometimes stopping, taking a deep breath and realizing that you are okay can carry you further than you think.

Soberpotamus

So sorry about your dog

Please don't drink.

trachemys

Guess what you get to do now? You get to make:

The Comeback!

You get to stand up and shake the rubble of the disaster off your back like a superhero. You get to face the rising sun with resolve and anticipation of doing better things. You get to make:

The Comeback!

Now get on with it.

Thepatman

Sad to hear about your dog.

Stay strong, try to concentrate of your daughter. She needs you to be strong, so she can see that you can deal with the situation sober. Plus her soccer disappointment needs loving and attention.

Prayers your way

SoberLeigh

I am so sorry to hear about your much loved dog, Serenidad.

Live can get better, Sereindad; keep moving forward with positive, productive and hopeful steps, while keeping alcohol out of the equation. Baby steps are fine; just keep taking one after the other.

ArtFriend

(((Serenidad)))

Sorry you are gong through all of this. It is very hard to lose a pet. And then all the other stuff compounds it. Stay strong and DO something positive for yourself.