I'm being ridiculous
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 223
I'm being ridiculous
My uncle has just put his condo on the market. I'm commuting up to three hours a day (four days a week) for work, and its making me T-I-R-E-D. I've been wanting to move into town for the longest, but rent is high and the idea of paying someone else's mortgage makes me sick.
I would prefer not to live with roommates. It's not so much that it's someone else, but since I also move out of town for four months out of the year, I'd hate to leave everything behind. The alternative is to pack up and move back to my parents (where I'm staying now) and find a new place every other 8 months.
Anyways, the condo is a good deal. Good neighborhood, new remodel, new appliances, and its got an association. If I were to rent a comparable spot, I would be paying more.
I'm nervous about getting excited, because I have a LOT of student loan debt. And credit cards. And a car note.
I love my parents, and it's amazing living at home for free. They don't treat me like I'm 12, and are more like roommates than anything else. But it would be so nice to be out on my own. And I've been thinking about this for a while, but like I said, rent is super expensive in Alaska, and I never really considered buying a place so soon. A couple years, maybe.
Scary. And the condo probably won't be on the market long, and I need to get pre-qualified for all that good grown up mortgage stuff.
Buuuut what's in the back of my mind? X. How if he needed a place to stay ever, here's one.
WTF. But no, I am NOT making a decision based on what X may/may not do. I just, in the back of my mind, am trying to fit him into my picture.
I definitely need to sleep on this one. Big decision if things start falling into place.
I would prefer not to live with roommates. It's not so much that it's someone else, but since I also move out of town for four months out of the year, I'd hate to leave everything behind. The alternative is to pack up and move back to my parents (where I'm staying now) and find a new place every other 8 months.
Anyways, the condo is a good deal. Good neighborhood, new remodel, new appliances, and its got an association. If I were to rent a comparable spot, I would be paying more.
I'm nervous about getting excited, because I have a LOT of student loan debt. And credit cards. And a car note.
I love my parents, and it's amazing living at home for free. They don't treat me like I'm 12, and are more like roommates than anything else. But it would be so nice to be out on my own. And I've been thinking about this for a while, but like I said, rent is super expensive in Alaska, and I never really considered buying a place so soon. A couple years, maybe.
Scary. And the condo probably won't be on the market long, and I need to get pre-qualified for all that good grown up mortgage stuff.
Buuuut what's in the back of my mind? X. How if he needed a place to stay ever, here's one.
WTF. But no, I am NOT making a decision based on what X may/may not do. I just, in the back of my mind, am trying to fit him into my picture.
I definitely need to sleep on this one. Big decision if things start falling into place.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Can you consolidate your debt into one loan with a smaller but regular payment? That might help your credit rating now and even down the road should this not be the right time for you. Talk to your banker about this along with a pre-approval for the mortgage, you may or may not quality depending on your other debt and income.
That said, if you factor your X into this at all, it most probably isn't the right time and you could face trouble ahead if he moves in and refuses to move out.
You may need to decide once and for all if he is in your life or out, any iffyness is a holdback to your own security and financial freedom.
This may be a turning point in your life, it's up to you to find the courage to do what is best for you.
Good luck.
That said, if you factor your X into this at all, it most probably isn't the right time and you could face trouble ahead if he moves in and refuses to move out.
You may need to decide once and for all if he is in your life or out, any iffyness is a holdback to your own security and financial freedom.
This may be a turning point in your life, it's up to you to find the courage to do what is best for you.
Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 223
Thanks, Ann. Those are sort of my thoughts on my X, too. Also scary for me.
I do have an opportunity with my state student loans to consolidate after July 1 to a lower interest rate. Down between almost a full percent to over 1 percent. Thanks for your input.
I kinda reached the point over the last year where I can pay my bills, put a good chunk (20-30%) into savings each month that I only tap for school, medical bills, or annual (large) credit card payments. I'd lose most of that with this venture... Guess there's no harm in talking to the loan people.
My uncle is going to sell the place regardless, it'd be impossible for him not to, I think. But it would be pretty cool to purchase it, since it's been in our family since the '70s.
Yikes.
I do have an opportunity with my state student loans to consolidate after July 1 to a lower interest rate. Down between almost a full percent to over 1 percent. Thanks for your input.
I kinda reached the point over the last year where I can pay my bills, put a good chunk (20-30%) into savings each month that I only tap for school, medical bills, or annual (large) credit card payments. I'd lose most of that with this venture... Guess there's no harm in talking to the loan people.
My uncle is going to sell the place regardless, it'd be impossible for him not to, I think. But it would be pretty cool to purchase it, since it's been in our family since the '70s.
Yikes.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Buying my own place was the best thing I ever did for myself.
I used to sell Real Estate - definitely start with pre-qualifying. Would your uncle be able to hold part of the mortgage? If there is equity, it might be really beneficial to him and help you get in.
I used to sell Real Estate - definitely start with pre-qualifying. Would your uncle be able to hold part of the mortgage? If there is equity, it might be really beneficial to him and help you get in.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 223
I'm not sure what you're asking... Clearly I've got some homework.
I know that he's selling because they've reached the 27.5 years of IRS benefits. He said he wished he would have known last week I would entertain the idea of buying, because it just got listed Wednesday night.
I know that he's selling because they've reached the 27.5 years of IRS benefits. He said he wished he would have known last week I would entertain the idea of buying, because it just got listed Wednesday night.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Well, if you get a mortgage for the full amount, it would mean you need a better financial picture, because you'd be borrowing more from a lender. If he (for instance) would hold a second mortgage for - (random) say - $30,000 - and you paid both he and a first mortgagor, he would get income (interest) and you would be able to borrow more. It would be even better if the thing is nearly or completely paid off. Then he could hold a larger percentage of the amount and you would need less perfect credit/income.
The only problem there is doing business with family. When I bought my place, my grandfather wanted to do some fancy financing to "help" me. I decided I didn't want that type of mental connection nor to give him any control over me whatsoever. But that is a personal thing based on our past.
Start with pre-qualifying at a bank. It's free, takes a little time, but at least you'll know where to start, money-wise.
Second issue: Just because he listed it, doesn't mean he has to keep it listed or that he has to sell it just because someone offers. It is still 100% his decision and he can say, "No," at any time and for any reason.
The only problem there is doing business with family. When I bought my place, my grandfather wanted to do some fancy financing to "help" me. I decided I didn't want that type of mental connection nor to give him any control over me whatsoever. But that is a personal thing based on our past.
Start with pre-qualifying at a bank. It's free, takes a little time, but at least you'll know where to start, money-wise.
Second issue: Just because he listed it, doesn't mean he has to keep it listed or that he has to sell it just because someone offers. It is still 100% his decision and he can say, "No," at any time and for any reason.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 845
aurora, that's so exciting, how cool it would be for you to be out of your parents' place and on the town by yourself! And no more commute! Is it possible that you're having this fantasy about your x moving there with you because moving to town would actually be a move AWAY from him? Like, maybe part of what's prevented you from moving to town earlier was that you wanted to be closer to your x, so moving to town is scary and this little fantasy is your way of coping? Anyway, I think it sounds super exciting to get out of the small pool of your hometown and have some adventures in a bigger pond!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 223
Thanks, BB! I'm going to go to my credit union today and see if I can talk to someone. It is paid off, but I don't know about the holding mortgage thing. I think we will revisit this if/after the pre-qualification.
And jjj, I think maybe, except I'd actually be moving TO the town he lives in. Close to his family (same side of town) but more importantly, close to the salon and my office job.
And jjj, I think maybe, except I'd actually be moving TO the town he lives in. Close to his family (same side of town) but more importantly, close to the salon and my office job.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Well, if it's paid-off, you don't even need a bank or credit union if he is willing to hold the note. You pay him directly and no lenders are involved.
Then it is just between you and him - all the terms are up to you two - the interest, the payments, the down payment or lack of down-payment, the length of the loan, etc. I'd approach him with the offer to pay him directly, he gets interest that way and can spread out his capital gains. It's a great deal for both of you. You'll need a Real Estate attorney to work with you both.
When I sell my place, that's how I'll sell it. If he doesn't need the lump sum of money immediately (and it sounds like it has been an investment property?) then it is win/win for both of you. It's worth at least asking him. Then you can keep it in the family, and your student loans won't even play into this.
Then it is just between you and him - all the terms are up to you two - the interest, the payments, the down payment or lack of down-payment, the length of the loan, etc. I'd approach him with the offer to pay him directly, he gets interest that way and can spread out his capital gains. It's a great deal for both of you. You'll need a Real Estate attorney to work with you both.
When I sell my place, that's how I'll sell it. If he doesn't need the lump sum of money immediately (and it sounds like it has been an investment property?) then it is win/win for both of you. It's worth at least asking him. Then you can keep it in the family, and your student loans won't even play into this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 223
Thanks! I'm going to try and meet with the credit union today and go from there. I think you think like he does because he said then he wouldn't get slammed with a huge tax bill, he could spread it out.
Then again, it is working with family. We'll see.
Then again, it is working with family. We'll see.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
The other thing for you both to consider is that this can be a short term arrangement - say five years - then at the end of five years, you have to get a loan from your credit union or other lender. That way his money isn't tied up for twenty years or however long until you pay it off, and it gives you a record of a pattern of ability to pay - which, if you keep your credit clean, almost guarantees a lender loan approval.
There are a million ways to set this up - depending on each of your personal situations. It's just finding someone to work through it with you.
When you are at the credit union today, mention this possibility and ask for the names of some Real Estate attorneys for you and your uncle to consult.
There are a million ways to set this up - depending on each of your personal situations. It's just finding someone to work through it with you.
When you are at the credit union today, mention this possibility and ask for the names of some Real Estate attorneys for you and your uncle to consult.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
LOL, and once I moved into my own place, I got really protective of it and my peace and quiet and I didn't even give my long-term boyfriend a key.
That turned out to be a good decision because he tried to claim it as his residence and had I given him a key, I would have had a very hard time keeping him out or keeping him from making a claim against me (according to the police, who I had to get involved.) Once I became the owner, I no longer wanted to put up with his shenanigans and I was able to cut him out completely - so it may work to help you detach if you suddenly see how much better off you are than he is.
He still has my address listed as his - 25 years later.
He never lived here. I didn't even let him spend the night on a regular basis!
That turned out to be a good decision because he tried to claim it as his residence and had I given him a key, I would have had a very hard time keeping him out or keeping him from making a claim against me (according to the police, who I had to get involved.) Once I became the owner, I no longer wanted to put up with his shenanigans and I was able to cut him out completely - so it may work to help you detach if you suddenly see how much better off you are than he is.
He still has my address listed as his - 25 years later.
He never lived here. I didn't even let him spend the night on a regular basis!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 845
Sorry, aurora, I was confused! Anyway, I still think it sounds exciting for you to be in town. 
But if it will put you closer to X and family, then it does sound worth thinking about what you want your boundaries to be. Of course you'll have fantasies, but your rational mind probably knows better. Maybe you'll find a new circle of friends in town? Sometimes you have to close one door before another can open. Just a thought!
But if it will put you closer to X and family, then it does sound worth thinking about what you want your boundaries to be. Of course you'll have fantasies, but your rational mind probably knows better. Maybe you'll find a new circle of friends in town? Sometimes you have to close one door before another can open. Just a thought!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 223
Well, I talked to the mortgage lender, and he crunched some numbers. I'm about $300/month shy of pre-qualifying for my uncle's condo. I would pre-qualify for a place about $4,000 less, but that's without association dues.
As I said earlier, after July 1 I'll be able to consolidate some of my loans, which will lower my payments. I'll also see the raise I'm scheduled to get in (I believe) my next paycheck.
It was in a really nice neighborhood, and was "locked" in by state property and the road, so it wouldn't be built around, thus kept in a quiet neighborhood. I'm worried that the places I would qualify for would be in the less-safe areas of town, and as a young, single woman, maybe that wouldn't be the best idea. While it would be nice to keep the condo in the family, I guess it wasn't meant to be. Although I consider myself my uncle's favorite niece (ha!), I don't think he would be interested in doing stuff "off-the-books" and would rather just sell the place.
Now that I know what I could qualify for, maybe after July 1, and after these paychecks, I'll revisit this. For now, I have the opportunity to continue paying down my debt, and if this ever happens I'll only be in a better position.
And thanks, everyone, for all your encouragement!
As I said earlier, after July 1 I'll be able to consolidate some of my loans, which will lower my payments. I'll also see the raise I'm scheduled to get in (I believe) my next paycheck.
It was in a really nice neighborhood, and was "locked" in by state property and the road, so it wouldn't be built around, thus kept in a quiet neighborhood. I'm worried that the places I would qualify for would be in the less-safe areas of town, and as a young, single woman, maybe that wouldn't be the best idea. While it would be nice to keep the condo in the family, I guess it wasn't meant to be. Although I consider myself my uncle's favorite niece (ha!), I don't think he would be interested in doing stuff "off-the-books" and would rather just sell the place.
Now that I know what I could qualify for, maybe after July 1, and after these paychecks, I'll revisit this. For now, I have the opportunity to continue paying down my debt, and if this ever happens I'll only be in a better position.
And thanks, everyone, for all your encouragement!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 276
Oh, girl...Good on you for trying to buy, but I wouldn't want to live "in town"! 
As far as being locked into certain areas, you definitely are not. Just try to get pre-qualified & then take your time looking for a home. You may be able to find something in an area you love that just needs some TLC in order to be perfectly livable.
I do totally agree with the "doing business with family" thing, though.
I have heard some horror stories about condo associations & HOAs though-just too many requirements, dues, meetings, etc. So personally I'd rather not buy into a property that required that you be a member of an HOA. Especially up here, they can be rather persnickety & nosy...
As far as being locked into certain areas, you definitely are not. Just try to get pre-qualified & then take your time looking for a home. You may be able to find something in an area you love that just needs some TLC in order to be perfectly livable.
I do totally agree with the "doing business with family" thing, though.
I have heard some horror stories about condo associations & HOAs though-just too many requirements, dues, meetings, etc. So personally I'd rather not buy into a property that required that you be a member of an HOA. Especially up here, they can be rather persnickety & nosy...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 223
Thanks! By "locked in" I meant there wouldn't be much more development in the area, so it won't be built up and crowded.
But yeah, work is getting a little crazy, and my supervisor keeps threatening to think about quitting (privately, to me, awkward) because our boss has a personality that really conflicts with ours. My supervisor is a lot like me--very self motivated, and will get the job done, without the boss hovering over our sholders. But the boss does hover, and throws things at us, and wants it NOW. And EVERYTHING is ASAP. So it's hard. But man, I am not sure if I will survive without my supervisor....
All that to say, well work is work, and work is no fun. So maybe it's good that I backed off becuase that would be a BIG problem if I lost my job. I probably wouldn't be able to find a comparable salary elsewhere.
But yeah, work is getting a little crazy, and my supervisor keeps threatening to think about quitting (privately, to me, awkward) because our boss has a personality that really conflicts with ours. My supervisor is a lot like me--very self motivated, and will get the job done, without the boss hovering over our sholders. But the boss does hover, and throws things at us, and wants it NOW. And EVERYTHING is ASAP. So it's hard. But man, I am not sure if I will survive without my supervisor....
All that to say, well work is work, and work is no fun. So maybe it's good that I backed off becuase that would be a BIG problem if I lost my job. I probably wouldn't be able to find a comparable salary elsewhere.
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