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Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 28
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I'm new to the site and to genuinely attempting a sober lifestyle. I am working to understand my compulsive behavior with alcohol. I wish I had the typical "off switch" or ability to understand when enough is enough. Moderation is something I have struggled with for years yet never took a large enough step back to really see the big picture. Time to really look in the mirror- kind of terrifying.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 479
Hello and welcome, chickNB!
I too wished I had that magical off switch, but I had to learn to accept that I didn't have one. Instead, I had a drinking problem. Sounds daunting, right? Well, actively drinking is more than daunting, it's debilitating and self-defeating to the growth I had long been wanting to do for years. While sobriety has been a topsy-turvy ride itself, it has way more amazing payoffs than drinking. Read and post away! It would be great to help you in any way, because from reading the posts and my own personal experience, we've all been there. Best to you!
I too wished I had that magical off switch, but I had to learn to accept that I didn't have one. Instead, I had a drinking problem. Sounds daunting, right? Well, actively drinking is more than daunting, it's debilitating and self-defeating to the growth I had long been wanting to do for years. While sobriety has been a topsy-turvy ride itself, it has way more amazing payoffs than drinking. Read and post away! It would be great to help you in any way, because from reading the posts and my own personal experience, we've all been there. Best to you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 10
Hi, ChickNB
At some point I realized that people who can drink moderately don't even know they do it! They leave a half inch of wine at the bottom of their glass - they don't finish off someone's abandoned drink when they're not looking. If my husband is looking in the frig for a beer and doesn't find one, he doesn't invite me out to dinner all of a sudden so he can order one or make up an errand so he can pick some up - all he does is add it to the shopping list.
My off switch is broken, too, and I've finally accepted that it can't be fixed so I just don't flip it anymore.
I'm new to this site, too. It seems like a great place of support. I'm pretty used to not drinking but think it is important to stay connected.
All the best to you.
At some point I realized that people who can drink moderately don't even know they do it! They leave a half inch of wine at the bottom of their glass - they don't finish off someone's abandoned drink when they're not looking. If my husband is looking in the frig for a beer and doesn't find one, he doesn't invite me out to dinner all of a sudden so he can order one or make up an errand so he can pick some up - all he does is add it to the shopping list.
My off switch is broken, too, and I've finally accepted that it can't be fixed so I just don't flip it anymore.
I'm new to this site, too. It seems like a great place of support. I'm pretty used to not drinking but think it is important to stay connected.
All the best to you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hi Chick! Welcome to SR. I don't have an off switch either. I so wanted to figure out how to get one so I could keep drinking. That was a fruitless pursuit for years and years. I had to just accept it and try to move on. One day at a time.
It isn't always easy and yes, sometimes it's scary, but well worth it. Good to meet you
It isn't always easy and yes, sometimes it's scary, but well worth it. Good to meet you
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 212
Welcome chick! You will get the support here that you need! Many of us have tried to figure this thing called alcoholism out!
I have yet to find the answer ANYWHERE! so we just have to surrender, move on and learn to live as best as we can sober to regain our lives back. or we can die trying to 'figure' it out!
I have yet to find the answer ANYWHERE! so we just have to surrender, move on and learn to live as best as we can sober to regain our lives back. or we can die trying to 'figure' it out!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
My off switch tended to get stuck as well. I think most of us have looked in the mirror and not liked what we are seeing, I am recently bsck, finishing up 18 days eith no alcohol. I needed to flip that switch in the opposite direction.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I don't believe my switch can be 'turned off'. It was either broken years ago, or never worked in the first place. (Which of those doesn't really matter). Like they say - you can't un-pickle a cucumber!
I don't think I was ready to deal with much 'looking in the mirror' til I'd got through the initial stages of recovery (that would have been too painful initially) and met some sober people who I trusted to help me through that process. Initially it was just about getting through the first day, week, month.
Be gentle on yourself. You have plenty of time for self-reflection when that washing-machine head has stopped chundering, and the fog is lifting.
Good luck - keep checking in and letting us know how you're getting on.
I don't think I was ready to deal with much 'looking in the mirror' til I'd got through the initial stages of recovery (that would have been too painful initially) and met some sober people who I trusted to help me through that process. Initially it was just about getting through the first day, week, month.
Be gentle on yourself. You have plenty of time for self-reflection when that washing-machine head has stopped chundering, and the fog is lifting.
Good luck - keep checking in and letting us know how you're getting on.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Welcome to SR, ChickNB! There's a ton of great wisdom and support to be found here. Make yourself at home.
Moderation never worked for me either. It always eventually morphed into drinking more than I should, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Ok, it was usually quickly. Hope you'll give real lasting sobriety and recovery a chance!
Moderation never worked for me either. It always eventually morphed into drinking more than I should, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Ok, it was usually quickly. Hope you'll give real lasting sobriety and recovery a chance!
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 31
Welcome Chick. I am new, too. Just wrapping up day 23. The first week was really tough. Then the fog lifted and things are getting much better ... physically anyway.
The mind games are still a battle. My AV has been talking a lot. Telling me I don't have a problem. Telling me all I need to do is moderate. But I know that isn't possible for me. I know I could keep drinking without much problem ... right now. I also know things will progressively get worse and eventually something bad will happen, or I won't be able to get out on my own. I'm not willing to go there.
Someone on this site said, "you need to want to be sober more than you want to drink". That's where I am. This place helps.
The mind games are still a battle. My AV has been talking a lot. Telling me I don't have a problem. Telling me all I need to do is moderate. But I know that isn't possible for me. I know I could keep drinking without much problem ... right now. I also know things will progressively get worse and eventually something bad will happen, or I won't be able to get out on my own. I'm not willing to go there.
Someone on this site said, "you need to want to be sober more than you want to drink". That's where I am. This place helps.
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