Addicted to the Party
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 3
Addicted to the Party
Hello,
I'm new here... Here's my story
Well, I've never been the type of drinker that needs to drink every day, or even every week. I am a binge drinker... depending on the envoronment. When I'm at home with my fiance, and we open a bottle of wine, I will maybe have one glass, but then stop. However if I'm out with friends at a party or at the bar, I drink to access, and do stupid, reckless things. I'm not sure what kind of alcoholic you call that? I can go weeks without a drink, but then one night it all comes undone.
Anyway, let's start with the reckless things I've done while intoxicated... The worst, is cheating on my fiance (getting married this fall). I cheated on him last summer (told him), and we decided we were both going to quit drinking. Time passed and, we started drinking casually again. About a month ago, I got really drunk (bought some coke... this isn't a common occurrence in daily life, but when I get really drunk I tend to look for it) and cheated on him once again.
I told him the next morning. He was gutted. Devastated. Said he was leaving me, which I didn't blame him for. I begged him to stay, that I would change. Anyway, he's still here. Thank god. If anything like this happens again, he will leave. He loves me so much, and I him. I can't lose him..... I obviously need to stop drinking. I'm a very social person, and it's hard to stay away from the partying. Many of my friends don't understand the damage I do when wasted, and most of them enjoy my stupid drunken antics, and encourage it. I do have some good friends who understand it and look out for me, thankfully. I often feel I have to live up to peoples expectations.
Ok I'm rambling. Thanks for this guys, feels good to get it off my chest. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
-AppleJacks
I'm new here... Here's my story
Well, I've never been the type of drinker that needs to drink every day, or even every week. I am a binge drinker... depending on the envoronment. When I'm at home with my fiance, and we open a bottle of wine, I will maybe have one glass, but then stop. However if I'm out with friends at a party or at the bar, I drink to access, and do stupid, reckless things. I'm not sure what kind of alcoholic you call that? I can go weeks without a drink, but then one night it all comes undone.
Anyway, let's start with the reckless things I've done while intoxicated... The worst, is cheating on my fiance (getting married this fall). I cheated on him last summer (told him), and we decided we were both going to quit drinking. Time passed and, we started drinking casually again. About a month ago, I got really drunk (bought some coke... this isn't a common occurrence in daily life, but when I get really drunk I tend to look for it) and cheated on him once again.
I told him the next morning. He was gutted. Devastated. Said he was leaving me, which I didn't blame him for. I begged him to stay, that I would change. Anyway, he's still here. Thank god. If anything like this happens again, he will leave. He loves me so much, and I him. I can't lose him..... I obviously need to stop drinking. I'm a very social person, and it's hard to stay away from the partying. Many of my friends don't understand the damage I do when wasted, and most of them enjoy my stupid drunken antics, and encourage it. I do have some good friends who understand it and look out for me, thankfully. I often feel I have to live up to peoples expectations.
Ok I'm rambling. Thanks for this guys, feels good to get it off my chest. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
-AppleJacks
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR.
Being a social person doesn't have to mean partying, drinking to excess, then regretting what we do. But for you, in your social circle, it seems to. That has to change.
Time to redefine what sociability means. And if you are striving to be sober, that will most likely require you to pick activities that aren't alcohol centric.
You're probably thinking, "Boring...." Compared to the mischief you seem to get into when you drink, maybe so. Decide how boring it really is after you are sober a year.
Originally Posted by AppleJacks 
I'm a very social person, and it's hard to stay away from the partying.
Time to redefine what sociability means. And if you are striving to be sober, that will most likely require you to pick activities that aren't alcohol centric.
You're probably thinking, "Boring...." Compared to the mischief you seem to get into when you drink, maybe so. Decide how boring it really is after you are sober a year.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Welcome. There are lots of ways to be social that do not involve alcohol. It usually takes a shift in perspective to be able to continue recovery. There are a lot of changes that we need to make in order to succeed. I hope that you make the decision to stop drinking and to stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I am also a destructive drinker. I also relate to seeking out coke during the week hours of the morning after drinking all night. The coke actually kept me from cheating on my girlfriend because I can't get an erection after snorting it. Embarrassing at the time but ever so thankful the next day when being interrogated when I stumble in.
It will only get worse. I had to change my whole lifestyle to get sober. Think about your future
It will only get worse. I had to change my whole lifestyle to get sober. Think about your future
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,761
Welcome to the family. 
If you want to stay sober, you're going to have to make some big changes in your life. Drinking is not required to have a good time. I suggest you stay away from these parties where you drink to excess and do things you regret. If you truly love your fiancé, change your life so you won't drive him away.
If you want to stay sober, you're going to have to make some big changes in your life. Drinking is not required to have a good time. I suggest you stay away from these parties where you drink to excess and do things you regret. If you truly love your fiancé, change your life so you won't drive him away.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 27
Hi,
I can relate to this,
6 months had passed where my drinking seemed perfectly normal, a few beers here & there, no trouble.
Then last Friday out of the blue, for no apparent reason, the few beers turned into blind drunk, getting in the car, and driving to spend money I didn't have on coke.
Thank god I didn't hurt anybody / get stopped / have a heart attack after 2 grams of strong coke in about 4 hours /
I know that after that maybe a year could pass with no trouble, but I can't risk it happening even one more time - so I made the decision to never drink or take drugs again.
Sounds like if you want to be sure you never cheat on your partner again, coming here & admitting there is an issue could be a good first step ..
I can relate to this,
6 months had passed where my drinking seemed perfectly normal, a few beers here & there, no trouble.
Then last Friday out of the blue, for no apparent reason, the few beers turned into blind drunk, getting in the car, and driving to spend money I didn't have on coke.
Thank god I didn't hurt anybody / get stopped / have a heart attack after 2 grams of strong coke in about 4 hours /
I know that after that maybe a year could pass with no trouble, but I can't risk it happening even one more time - so I made the decision to never drink or take drugs again.
Sounds like if you want to be sure you never cheat on your partner again, coming here & admitting there is an issue could be a good first step ..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Welcome to SR. The fact that you realize this is a problem and are looking to do something about it is big.
Your post struck a chord for me. I used to be like you. Could drink one on occasion but too much at others. That didn't take long to go to nightly drinking after I divorced my husband who was a really nice guy. The friends who encourage you in the drunken escapades are not great friends. If they are normal drinkers and you stay the course, they will leave you behind. Especially if your fiance leaves you. They'll be the ones who get married and move to the suburbs and have children while you're still out looking for a good time. Least, that's what happened to me. I was the good time party girl in the bar with a passably pretty face and a killer body. Got a lot of attention and I was pretty indiscriminate but the nice guys with a lot going for them wouldn't touch me.
After starting as an occasional binge drinker, I drank every night. Now this may never happen for you but it's possible if you continue drinking. You don't have to drink to have a good time. Focus on you and not drinking. Focus on your fiance and that relationship. Ask if the party life is more important to you than this guy. You have a choice.
Your post struck a chord for me. I used to be like you. Could drink one on occasion but too much at others. That didn't take long to go to nightly drinking after I divorced my husband who was a really nice guy. The friends who encourage you in the drunken escapades are not great friends. If they are normal drinkers and you stay the course, they will leave you behind. Especially if your fiance leaves you. They'll be the ones who get married and move to the suburbs and have children while you're still out looking for a good time. Least, that's what happened to me. I was the good time party girl in the bar with a passably pretty face and a killer body. Got a lot of attention and I was pretty indiscriminate but the nice guys with a lot going for them wouldn't touch me.
After starting as an occasional binge drinker, I drank every night. Now this may never happen for you but it's possible if you continue drinking. You don't have to drink to have a good time. Focus on you and not drinking. Focus on your fiance and that relationship. Ask if the party life is more important to you than this guy. You have a choice.
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