20 years old and feel like I wont make it to 21
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Gainesville, florida
Posts: 5
20 years old and feel like I wont make it to 21
Hey,
Im a 20 year old college student with about three months until i turn 21. My relationship with alcohol hasn't been easy and it has gotten to the point where I cant drink while out without blacking out. When drinking with friends at a home, I am much more manageable. About seven months ago I had my first breakthrough with a deep fryer and my right hand while blackout in a foreign state. I came to it in the hospital and my hand was completely deteriorated with second and third degree burns. I was so lucky to have not needed surgery and i felt that this was the turning point in my life. Six months went by and although i started drinking again, i wasnt blacking out and i felt i had my life under control. But all of a sudden about a month ago i fell back into bad habits and started blacking out and making stupid mistake again while out. It all culminated to this past Friday night when I went out with some friends blacked out and instead of crashing at my friends house took my keys and went on a joy ride for over an hour. How i ended up at my house i have no idea. Its just scary to think i am not even 21 yet and i cant control what i am doing to my body.
Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Im a 20 year old college student with about three months until i turn 21. My relationship with alcohol hasn't been easy and it has gotten to the point where I cant drink while out without blacking out. When drinking with friends at a home, I am much more manageable. About seven months ago I had my first breakthrough with a deep fryer and my right hand while blackout in a foreign state. I came to it in the hospital and my hand was completely deteriorated with second and third degree burns. I was so lucky to have not needed surgery and i felt that this was the turning point in my life. Six months went by and although i started drinking again, i wasnt blacking out and i felt i had my life under control. But all of a sudden about a month ago i fell back into bad habits and started blacking out and making stupid mistake again while out. It all culminated to this past Friday night when I went out with some friends blacked out and instead of crashing at my friends house took my keys and went on a joy ride for over an hour. How i ended up at my house i have no idea. Its just scary to think i am not even 21 yet and i cant control what i am doing to my body.
Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 534
You've come to the right place to sort this out. Some people (myself included) are black out drunks, and have to learn the hard way that drinking just doesn't work for them. It looks like you're coming to this realisation too.
Into the Void
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: California
Posts: 931
Welcome to SR, Gatorbait. I was an extreme party guy in school with plenty of incidents like you describe. You do really need to cut back now before you really mess up your life for good and if you repeatedly try to cut back and fail you need to stop for good. I know it's not what you want to hear. You're headed to a really bad place otherwise. But it's not all gloom and doom! Sober life can be pretty great too. Look around on this forum and make a plan to quit!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 770
Hey there gatorbait, I got sober at 23 and know lots of other peopLe that have gotten sober young. I thinkthe stigma around alcohol is slowly fading and people are wising up to the fact that substance abuse can affect anybody.
the black outs terrified me too. Towards the end my friends would say things like "you didn't even seem drunk, you looked fine when you were driving home"
it's terrifying blacking out in one place and waking up in another.
Now I'm quite a home body. I Learned other ways to have fun and I enjoy waking up where I remember falling asleep the night before.
I would suggest reading threads on this website and checkIng out some recovery literature
best of luck
the black outs terrified me too. Towards the end my friends would say things like "you didn't even seem drunk, you looked fine when you were driving home"
it's terrifying blacking out in one place and waking up in another.
Now I'm quite a home body. I Learned other ways to have fun and I enjoy waking up where I remember falling asleep the night before.
I would suggest reading threads on this website and checkIng out some recovery literature
best of luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Gainesville, florida
Posts: 5
Thanks so much for the speedy replies. Didnt expect that haha. Just dont know how I can really be apart of the college lifestyle without drinking. From football tailgates to social functions, it seems like itd be impossible to stay sober at these types of events.
My real question is how do i find the self confidence to have fun and be myself when the only time i feel that way is when i am so many drink in and can talk to anyone?
My real question is how do i find the self confidence to have fun and be myself when the only time i feel that way is when i am so many drink in and can talk to anyone?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Welcome. I was a blackout drinker too and boy those were scary as all hell. Sometimes I would go a month or two without blacking out and BAM blackout again with more disgusting, dangerous, and destructive behavior. There were other times when I told myself I just didn't care and blacked out a few times a week. Blackouts happened on work nights as often as weekends. Parties as well as nights home alone watching YouTube and sending bizarre emails and texts. Long story short, they were completely unpredictable and were really ruining my life in every possible way.
Some highlights were waking up with the front door standing wide open, waking with the stove on high, waking with my computer, phone, keys, and wallet on the front porch, waking up with the shower running, waking up face down on the bed, fully clothed on top of the covers with one or both shoes on, waking with every light in the house on, waking with my car door wide open, dome light on, and car battery dead. My personal favorites were waking up pretty much covered in blood from a deep cut on my hand and the other time was my chin.
There were two things I decided that I could not tolerate anymore in my life. The first was blackouts and the second was hangovers. I really got to the point where I hated both of those with ever cell of my being.
It sounds so obvious but it took me so long to figure out that the only way to really avoid both of those completely was to never drink alcohol again.
It's been 11 months since my last drink and I am happy to report that those eleven months have been blackout-free and hangover-free.
Life is meant to be enjoyed and blackouts and hangovers and alcoholic drinking make it impossible to enjoy being alive. In fact, they make living pretty torturous.
It sounds like this is your time to stop too. You are here typing and reaching out so YES, you can make it yo 21 if you stop drinking. You don't ever have to drink alcohol again.
Some highlights were waking up with the front door standing wide open, waking with the stove on high, waking with my computer, phone, keys, and wallet on the front porch, waking up with the shower running, waking up face down on the bed, fully clothed on top of the covers with one or both shoes on, waking with every light in the house on, waking with my car door wide open, dome light on, and car battery dead. My personal favorites were waking up pretty much covered in blood from a deep cut on my hand and the other time was my chin.
There were two things I decided that I could not tolerate anymore in my life. The first was blackouts and the second was hangovers. I really got to the point where I hated both of those with ever cell of my being.
It sounds so obvious but it took me so long to figure out that the only way to really avoid both of those completely was to never drink alcohol again.
It's been 11 months since my last drink and I am happy to report that those eleven months have been blackout-free and hangover-free.
Life is meant to be enjoyed and blackouts and hangovers and alcoholic drinking make it impossible to enjoy being alive. In fact, they make living pretty torturous.
It sounds like this is your time to stop too. You are here typing and reaching out so YES, you can make it yo 21 if you stop drinking. You don't ever have to drink alcohol again.
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