Family and friends and SR - oh my
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Family and friends and SR - oh my
Once again, thank all of your for your concern and support. You ROCK!
I think that the family issues will take some time for me to sort out. I wish I could simply say "meh" and walk. It is not my nature. I have to do all this analysis of the who what where and why. It is exhausting. And I know that in the final analysis (if there is one) nothing will be resolved. It is a form of mental masturbation (can I say that word?). Sort of a way to keep myself irritated. Makes no sense at all, but that is why I am in therapy.
A huge stumbling block I am facing now is the "L" in HALT. I am alone quite a bit because I work out of my home. If I want to stay in my jammies all day and put my hair in curlers and watch Jerry Springer and drink (which you almost have to do to watch Jerry Springer) no one is the wiser. This no accountability thing is dangerous. I come out on SR and post and read, but it is not enough I don't think. My friends all work during the day, like most people. So there is no one to really talk to, except clients occasionally.
I have thought about getting an 9-5 normal job again, but I like my freedom too much.
Anyway... I am just typing out loud. Thanks again.
I think that the family issues will take some time for me to sort out. I wish I could simply say "meh" and walk. It is not my nature. I have to do all this analysis of the who what where and why. It is exhausting. And I know that in the final analysis (if there is one) nothing will be resolved. It is a form of mental masturbation (can I say that word?). Sort of a way to keep myself irritated. Makes no sense at all, but that is why I am in therapy.
A huge stumbling block I am facing now is the "L" in HALT. I am alone quite a bit because I work out of my home. If I want to stay in my jammies all day and put my hair in curlers and watch Jerry Springer and drink (which you almost have to do to watch Jerry Springer) no one is the wiser. This no accountability thing is dangerous. I come out on SR and post and read, but it is not enough I don't think. My friends all work during the day, like most people. So there is no one to really talk to, except clients occasionally.
I have thought about getting an 9-5 normal job again, but I like my freedom too much.
Anyway... I am just typing out loud. Thanks again.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
You mention a job AF ,
Are there opportunities to volunteer that could be rewarding and regulating for you ?
I used to like the freedom of not being tied down , but y'know that was mainly because i wanted the time to drink and be hungover in without getting disturbed having to bother about "stuff" .
I quit my job and sold my house so i could sit in peace to indulge myself fully , blew a whole load of money and time .
As a rhetorical question whats important or has meaning enough to you that you will show up regularly ?
m
Are there opportunities to volunteer that could be rewarding and regulating for you ?
I used to like the freedom of not being tied down , but y'know that was mainly because i wanted the time to drink and be hungover in without getting disturbed having to bother about "stuff" .
I quit my job and sold my house so i could sit in peace to indulge myself fully , blew a whole load of money and time .
As a rhetorical question whats important or has meaning enough to you that you will show up regularly ?
m
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
I've been an independent for about 25 years now. So this is well before I started my drinking life in 2001. I really enjoy my own hours and so forth. It is not to drink (sorry if I implied that). Others have suggested volunteering. I think about looking into it, but then I decide to not go through with it. So I don't know what would coax me into a 9-5 type world.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Originally Posted by ArtFriend 
I have thought about getting an 9-5 normal job again, but I like my freedom too much.
This would provide a social outlet as well as an employee discount.
Sorry to not be up to date on what is going on in your world,
but I send you warm thoughts and cyber hugs.
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Would I love to hang around in my jammies with my hair in curlers all day? You bet! Looks strange on a six foot tall white guy but I'd do it if I could.
You like your freedom? Will you continue to abuse your freedom until it's taken from you?
If you don't live your life responsibly, you won't get to live it.
You like your freedom? Will you continue to abuse your freedom until it's taken from you?
If you don't live your life responsibly, you won't get to live it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
It does not need to be a 9-5 job, or anything too rigid, Art. Perhaps you could try some kind of consulting that involves occasional meetings?
What I do is that I have an official employer and workplace in NY, and most things I do are linked to that. But I never go to that place daily even if I'm in NY, get a lot of stuff done from home. I go to the workplace for meetings (groups and 1:1), for seminars, and when I need to be involved in something practically/manually. My work is also done in both smaller and larger scale collaborations, within that institution and outside, and a lot of this involves continuous interactions via the internet and phone, more or less everyday. Often some of these work-related connections also turn into personal interests, interactions, and relationships. Lots of mixing and matching. My profession is very open to this and does not forbid or restrict such mixing at all, most of us do it in many ways.
But I have a lot of flexibility and freedom to organize these and when to interact when I am responsible for a project. So here, responsibility generates freedom
What I do is that I have an official employer and workplace in NY, and most things I do are linked to that. But I never go to that place daily even if I'm in NY, get a lot of stuff done from home. I go to the workplace for meetings (groups and 1:1), for seminars, and when I need to be involved in something practically/manually. My work is also done in both smaller and larger scale collaborations, within that institution and outside, and a lot of this involves continuous interactions via the internet and phone, more or less everyday. Often some of these work-related connections also turn into personal interests, interactions, and relationships. Lots of mixing and matching. My profession is very open to this and does not forbid or restrict such mixing at all, most of us do it in many ways.
But I have a lot of flexibility and freedom to organize these and when to interact when I am responsible for a project. So here, responsibility generates freedom
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
When I was living in Houston with my
little family I was a stay at home mom
and wife living my recovery life.
Moving there took me away from my
AA family and support which took me
my first 6 yrs sober to get. I was soooo
sad and soooo lonely even tho my little
family kept me busy.
When my kids entered high school and
got involved in band, they didn't need
me during the day. Sooooo, I went to
some AA meetings and met a few folks
and from there I got a few AA members
I could clean house for and make a little
money for myself.
This kept me busy but lonely. Then I decided
to try working at an HEB grocery store right
across the street from my kids HS from 6 to
2pm. That way I was close to them if they ever
needed me.
I worked bagging, picking up carts, helping
carry out and allowed me to exercise .
However, I was still lonely. As a mom with
only 2 yrs college but no degree all I had
experience in was Sales, Bank Telling, an
at home mom and wife and never really
wanted a career job.
Fast forward, my 25 yr marriage ended
about 9 yrs ago and I returned home here
to Baton Rouge on a Bank Teller opportunity
which didn't last but a few months. Come to
find out, im not quick enough on the computer
as we didn't have that much of it back in 1978.
Anyway, I was glad to reconnect to my AA
family here and see all those that carried me
in early recovery till I was strong enough to
walk sober on my own.
Because I was living in a new apartment
and the first time single in 25 yrs. with no
job I went out and applied to different jobs
with no luck until someone in recovery
told me about a local bakery in need of
help.
Sooooo, I ran as fast as I could to the
bakery and did get the job in Customer
Service where I worked helping customers
and filling orders. I absolutely luved my
customers.
Then I remarried 6 yrs now and retired
a few yrs back. As long as I remain connect
to my recovery support and put my faith
in my HP - Higher Power of my understanding
then we will be taken care in all areas of our
life.
That's my story.
little family I was a stay at home mom
and wife living my recovery life.
Moving there took me away from my
AA family and support which took me
my first 6 yrs sober to get. I was soooo
sad and soooo lonely even tho my little
family kept me busy.
When my kids entered high school and
got involved in band, they didn't need
me during the day. Sooooo, I went to
some AA meetings and met a few folks
and from there I got a few AA members
I could clean house for and make a little
money for myself.
This kept me busy but lonely. Then I decided
to try working at an HEB grocery store right
across the street from my kids HS from 6 to
2pm. That way I was close to them if they ever
needed me.
I worked bagging, picking up carts, helping
carry out and allowed me to exercise .
However, I was still lonely. As a mom with
only 2 yrs college but no degree all I had
experience in was Sales, Bank Telling, an
at home mom and wife and never really
wanted a career job.
Fast forward, my 25 yr marriage ended
about 9 yrs ago and I returned home here
to Baton Rouge on a Bank Teller opportunity
which didn't last but a few months. Come to
find out, im not quick enough on the computer
as we didn't have that much of it back in 1978.
Anyway, I was glad to reconnect to my AA
family here and see all those that carried me
in early recovery till I was strong enough to
walk sober on my own.
Because I was living in a new apartment
and the first time single in 25 yrs. with no
job I went out and applied to different jobs
with no luck until someone in recovery
told me about a local bakery in need of
help.
Sooooo, I ran as fast as I could to the
bakery and did get the job in Customer
Service where I worked helping customers
and filling orders. I absolutely luved my
customers.
Then I remarried 6 yrs now and retired
a few yrs back. As long as I remain connect
to my recovery support and put my faith
in my HP - Higher Power of my understanding
then we will be taken care in all areas of our
life.
That's my story.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1,277
I agree that volunteering is a great option. If you don't like it you don't have to go. Plus there is a great variety of things you can volunteer for. I volunteered at a senior center that did crafts, played pool, had dinners, etc. It was sort of like a 9-5 and actually alot of fun. I also volunteered for an event selling tickets at a community fair. You meet all kinds of interesting people.
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