Lola23

Hey guys, just need to post. I'm at my folk's house and the cravings are kicking in big time. I agreed to be set up for dinner with a guy in my home town and meeting him in a few hours. I don't know why I agreed to this. Even just being in this town makes me want to run to the closest liqour store, much less the added stress/discomfort of dinner with someone I don't know. The thing is that this guy happens to live in a different freaking country and is just in town for the weekend, so there isn't much of a chance of a relationship developing...its more just that we both happen to be in town the same weekends and our parents have been friends for years.

Anyways, I wanted to post. I have already decided that at dinner I am going to say I'm not drinking b/c I'm doing a fitness challenge thing. I'm sure he won't push, so its not that. Its just that being here just triggers me big time.

chicory

Lola, I can imagine your being nervous. Can you think ahead to after this meeting, maybe some goals you have, or are looking forward to? Since its not going to be a relationship, can you just try to go for the good meal?
Breathe deeply. I think it could be fun, and he is probably more nervous than you are!
Breathe....

Lola23

Deep breaths, that's what I'm trying. Just gotta keep my s**t together for a few hours.

The thing is, its never been about someone ordering a beer at dinner around me. That's not really tempting. What I WANT to do it grab a fifth of vodka and down it. And then of course I'm driving. So that's what I'm kinda thinking about...the consequences.

I have goals of making it one more day sober. That's all I can do right now.

PurpleKnight

Breath Lola, you can do this!!

Keep it simple, not drinking due to fitness challenge, have plenty of conversation, food, drive home and have a hangover free Sunday!!

You got this!!

ArtFriend

I remember you talked about this the other day. Did you get together a plan before you went home?

Joe Nerv

I was in a similar situation when I just quit smoking. I had a 3 pack a day habit, had quit for only about 5 days (first time in my life), had a "big" date, and I couldn't, or didn't want to back out of it. But I was freaking out. Didn't think it would be possible for me to sit through a dinner not only without alcohol (I was already sober a while and used to that), but without cigarettes. I had a friend at that time with a great attitude. When I told him I was freaking, he said something along the lines of, "Joe! This is the greatest thing you could be doing right now! Just think, after getting through this, which I know you can, everything else will be a piece of cake." He convinced me it was like doing a not smoking exercise that would be challenging, but would make me way stronger. I got through the date without a cigarette, the relationship never grew into anything, and 25 years later I still haven't touched a cigarette. Nor a drink for that matter.

Anyhow, it's OK to be uncomfortable. We're totally used to not feeling anything. I'd urge you to accept the uncomfortably and know that you'll be learning and growing from it. It'll be over in a few hours anyhow. A drink will however open a door to a whole new hell that could last for years.

I don't know how long you're sober, but I'll also add that if you think it's a real possibility that you're not strong enough yet to handle this, it's perfectly OK to bail, too. I was told that my sobriety had to always be my absolute #1 priority, and it didn't matter who's feelings that might hurt. Especially in the beginning. This was a life or death thing for me, and I was taught well to never, ever forget that. If you need to not go because there's too much of a risk, I say break the date. Everybody else will get over that. You may never get over drinking again.

If you have a belief in a HP or God, prayer helps a lot too. I've noticed lately that a lot of people believe, yet don't use prayer as a tool. I don't get that? Anyway.... good luck .

Lola23

Yes. I have phone numbers of some AA friends to call. I made a call on the drive down here and was feeling good. Was going to try to make a meeting but wasn't able to. If I have to, I will call one of the girls that I've been in communication with.

Lola23

Thanks guys!! I'm arming myself with some sparkling water.

Thepatman

Hang in there.... But if this hole situation is in the way of your sobriety, why not call it quits and go home. I'm sure the guy will survive the date thing. But you on the other hand, are heading straight for a brick wall.

Just saying, it's your choice of course. Just trying to outline sobriety must come first.

Good luck! And plan the tape until the end before drinking. We both know the end.

Thepatman

Play the tape I what I meant. ;-)

esinger

It's never the situation that causes the angst. It's the way we perceive the situation. We tend to make up a whole ugly scenarios in our heads that are far from reality. Breath deep, relax, and enjoy an evening with no strings attached.
You might just enjoy your evening if you let yourself.
Good luck!

neednewpath

Try and enjoy yourself, and when you feel tempted, remember how disappointed you would be in yourself tomorrow. If you make it through sober, you will have an accomplishment to celebrate tomorrow!

Lola23

Thanks for everyone's responses. I'm home safe and sound. Just like you guys said...it was good conversation and some good food. He was looking over the wine menu but when I ordered water he did the same. I said something to the effect of "don't worry, feel free to order whatever you'd like, I'm just sticking to water tonight b/c of a workout in the morning". And he was so nonchalant, and just was like "eh, I had enough wine last night at a wedding reception. I could use a break". Its just so funny being around "normies" and being reminded that not everyone is obsessing over drinking or not drinking like I am.

In any case, thank you all for your responses. I may be posting away this weekend in general.

chicory

Glad you had a good time Lola! and some good food!

good job