160 day recap
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 53
160 day recap
So im 160 days sober today and decided to post a brief synopsis of my "adventure". I managed to get through college and teens without ever really drinking. I was really big into martial arts and body building, and my desire to accel in those was strong than my desire to drink, so i was simply the guy who didnt drink. For most of my life, I was always around people, which i enjoy. I am not a recluse and really enjoy being around, talking to, and laughing with people. When i hit 25 years old, I began drinking in what i would call routine. I was working a job inwhich i began my shift at midnight and got off work around 945am. My routine would be to get a big botle of vodka on the way home. I always made it a point to tell the clerk I worked midnight shift, so 10am is everyone elses 6pm. We would both laugh and I would leave with my 750ml. During this time in my early drinking, I would drink one or two drinks if I had a hard time falling asleep. My body didnt really react well to midnight shift and I had heard horror stories about ambien. The 750ml would last a month or more at this time, but when i moved out of that house an into an apartment by myself, My drinking went from 1 to 2 times a week to every day I worked I would drink 1 or 2 to help get to bed. At this early time in my drinking I could still stop if the desire to do something out weighed the desire to drink, which was the case when I moved out of the small lonely apartment into a house. I quit for a long time, probably a year or so, and then broken my ankle. The night i broke my ankle I went to the hospital, and I was very worried because that next day I had a appointment to take a polygraph. Being a police officer was something I have wanted to do since being 11 years old, and to show them I was serious I didnt take any medication (you couldnt take the test if you had taken medication) and showed up the morning after breaking my ankle. I failed the polygraph. They told me I showed deception on my drug use, which is false but for some reason the machine showed deception. I had several friends on the department, and when they found out I had failed a polygraph, I might as well have told them I had the bubonic plague. Their attitude toward me changed, and thatts when my drinking skyrocketed. I was now injured, with nothing but time and a mind full of crushed dreams to keep me company. I began drinking solely to get intoxicated, which in the past intoxication was merely an accident and had now become a destination. Within 6 months my drinking had escalated and I ended up in the hospital with acute alcohol poisioning. I quit for about 2 months, and thought it was an isolated incident. I had gotten over the failed polygraph, was working out again, and started feeling better. I tried drinking again, and within 3 months called EMSA on myself. They took me to the hospital, monitored me, and released me to my brother after about 5 hours. Again I quit for about 2 months, and couldn't wrap my head around why I couldnt control it, tried again, and ended up jjust as bad as I was before (avoided the hospital this time). I quit again, for roughly the same amount of time, and again tried drinking. My steady girlfriend at the time decided she was sick of it, which i told her i understood, and that woke me up and I quit again. I was not really happy in that relationship, so I stayed single for a while, got sober again for about 3 months and met a girl i had liked since high school. We hit it off, and I went to her apartment and she offered me a drink (not knowing my past expierence with alcohol). I took it, and woke up the next morning hung over, unaware of what had happened. Ashamed I took what she had left of the vodka, drove home, and drank all that was left. That led to a four day bender before I called my brother and told him I needed to stay with him for a few days. I called that girl, who i really liked but hadnt talked to since that night at her apartment and told her why she hadn't heard from me for 4 days. I was scared to death of the judgement she might have towards me, but i knew if i was going to beat this thing, I was going to have to include that part of my story in any new relationship I engaged in. She was very understanding and apologetic, and said she would do anything I needed in order for me to be sucessful in being sober. I went to her house the next day and all the booze and bottles were gone. I dont know where they went, but thats irrelevant. What is relevant is that she got rid of them and that ment a lot to me. That was December 20th and I haven't drank since. I think the difference this time that was missing from all my other attempts to quitting alcohol is the acceptance. I was unable to accept that I cant control my drinking. When I was body building, I could avoid anything containing sugar, never over induldge in food when others around me would, wake up 2 hours before i had to be at work to get my morning cardio in, and even bring food with me for lunch get togethers with friends so I could still enjoy their company, but control my dietary needs. So why couldn't I control alcohol? Well, because im an alcoholic...its that simple. Children born with peanut allergies dont dance around in peanut oil hoping this time they wont go into an anaphylactic shock. Thats ridiculous, yet i was doing just that with alcohol. People with peanut allergies avoid peanuts... its just that simple. Some of my methods i use this time is avoiding being sedentary, but also learning how to enjoy doing nothing, if that makes any sense. I also do go to meetings, and I spend a lot of time on this website. Having a good solid group of friends who know about me and my alcoholism, but also gaurding that piece of me from people who dont need to know about that part of my life. Also continuing to workout, and set goals for myself. When I dont meet those goals, I just keep working towards them, and when I do meet them I reward myself. I hope this helps someone reading it, I know it sure helped me to read other stories in my early days. And lastly, after one of my binges, around day 4 I was at work, still reeming from no sleep, and still feeling the withdrawls. I went to the bathroom and felt really "funny". I went to the sink to wash my hands and got very dizzy. There happened to be a fire fighter in the bathroom, and I told him I didnt feel right. He took my blood preassure, and it was 193 over 130, which is stroke level. I went to emergeny room, where they regulated my BP, and went home. After a few more days everything was back to normal, but I say this as a warning to anyone in their early days. I know I didnt want anyone to know, but its important that you be careful, and understand that alcohol withdrawl can be very dangerous. Cheers everyone!
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 562
Yes congratulations on your 160 days.....I'm a newbie and im also on this site a lot....reading other people stories has been educational.....I've learned so much that I didn't know before and it's helping to keep me sober. Thanks for posting your "adventure"!!!!
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