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29 days, then right back into it

Old 05-28-2015, 11:24 PM
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29 days, then right back into it

Hey everyone. This site is awesome and I am finding it helpful.

About 7 weeks ago I decided after many years of trying to limit my drinking to finally give it up for good. On the second day I told my wife and while not shocked, was a bit surprised. I am not physically addicted and I don't have more than 4-6 beers a day (for over two years I have kept a log of how many beers I have every day and average just over 4 per day) but as I get older the toll it takes on my body the next day has become too much.

I started a journal documenting all my firsts and all my reasons for quitting. My wife is infinitely supportive. She is actually 7 months pregnant right now and never drank much to begin with and has said she doesn't miss it at all and might not really drink again. I envy her for that.

But about three weeks in, after a hard couple of weeks and easier third week, I set my eyes on a beer and food festival I had been looking forward to for months. I started working to convince myself and my wife that I had learned a lot from my nearly month sober and was ready to try to be a normal drinker. I truly believed that.

I didn't really get drunk but had a great time and felt good about where I was at. But since then, haven't been drunk often but have had beer every day but one and I feel like I am right back into my old groove.

I have set my sights on June 1st as my new quitting day. If it happens earlier I will be happy about that too. So look for me to be in here a lot and hopefully sharing a success story!
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Old 05-28-2015, 11:36 PM
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Welcome to SR beeraholic

It was tough for me to quit, but it was even tougher for me to stay quit.
I had to make some pretty big changes in my lifestyle.

You may find you'll need to do the same? You'll find a lot of support here tho

D
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Old 05-28-2015, 11:46 PM
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Thanks dee. Your posts in particular are very helpful. I joined this site in mid-April and was ready to dive in to sobriety. I am frustrated with myself because I went a month without drinking and was so impressed with this feat that I decided I wasn't an alcoholic anymore-insane as that sounds- and could handle limits. But instead I am the same, obviously.

Thanks for the encouragement!
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Old 05-28-2015, 11:47 PM
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It's a very common thing beeraholic - I call it confusing abstinence for control.
It happens a lot.

The main thing is you're back, and wiser for it
D
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Old 05-28-2015, 11:49 PM
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Good to hear that you want to get back on track Beeraholic. It seems like there is definitely an addiction since that "first drink" at the festival has subsequently triggered drinking each day thereafter except for one day. Good luck on your new sobriety!
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Old 05-28-2015, 11:57 PM
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Hey beeraholic! I think I was much the same kind of drinker as you, but it was getting worse. 4-6 beers every evening and sometimes a couple at lunch...but weekends were sliding out of control and it was getting messy. I too stopped for nearly six weeks last summer, felt confident that I could handle it and then, to my surprise realized I couldn't. I was quickly back to where I was before or indeed worse.

It took me 8 months to get back to SR but I'm so glad I did. 40 days sober tomorrow and I'm so thankful that I've managed to make that choice for me and my family. The quality time I spend with my kids now is streets ahead of what it was like before.

Good luck with your choice. You deserve a better life
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Old 05-29-2015, 12:01 AM
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Thanks everyone!
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Old 05-29-2015, 05:56 AM
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Welcome to SR, beeraholic. You'll find a ton of great support and wisdom here. Look forward to getting to know you better!

Why not make May 29 your first day sober? There's nothing extra magical about June 1.
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Old 05-29-2015, 06:20 AM
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Welcome, glad you're here! I think many of us thought that after quitting for a period we could now drink in a moderate way.

I could quit, that was easy. Staying stopped is a bit trickery because my brain would tell me it's ok!!

You'll find your way if your accepting, willing and ready to be sober
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Old 05-29-2015, 06:39 AM
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Greetings Beeraholic!

I'm much like you in the beer dept. 4-6/day for 10 years +. Over time it changed to 4-6 + half a fifth of bourbon. I tried to knock it off at least 4 times in the last 3-4 years but it never worked. I always ended up right back at my sweet spot. Anything less was unsatisfying and not fun. Seems many of us are the same way. For me there is no in between zero and my fix. My fix was too much and hurting my health so I had to make a simple choice. Well, notosimple but necessary.

Good luck!
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Old 05-29-2015, 06:51 AM
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Hello Beerholic-

My situation is a bit like yours, in that I have a wife who hardly ever drinks and doesn't miss it now that it's never in the house. It's good to have that support.
I was a beer drinker as well. Seas of the stuff for over 15 years. I live in the San Francisco area, so there are a ton of food/beer fests and no shortage of drinking opportunities. Craft beer establishments everywhere you look. Wine country. A hedonist's paradise.
Six months in to sobriety and none of that is really on my radar anymore. I'm too busy living life and doing the things I was always too hungover or buzzed to do. It's funny that alcohol is associated with "living it up" or " living life to the fullest," even though life will never be as full for us when we include alcohol in it.
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Old 05-29-2015, 06:56 AM
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Originally Posted by GnikNus View Post
It's funny that alcohol is associated with "living it up" or " living life to the fullest," even though life will never be as full for us when we include alcohol in it.
Well said GnikNus. And absolutely true in my experience.
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Old 05-29-2015, 08:29 PM
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Thanks everyone for your poignant responses.

After my sober month, I decided to start drinking lower percentage beers. However, I am drinking far more beers overall than I was in the past. My thought process was that I would drink fewer beers at a lower ABV and be a normal drinker again. Instead, I am drinking twice as many beers, not really feeling it as much, and still having that same regret and unnecessarily drinking 1200-1400 calories a day that are of zero value to my body.

I keep saying June 1 is my new sober day, seems a convenient date and allows me a weekend to have a few more beers before saying goodbye. Almost like a date with a soon-to-be-ex. I know this is an insane thought, but I don't feel like I can just say no right this second without planning on a date in the future. Always a problem for me.

Overall, I would say that I am full of insane thoughts in regards to drinking. I know I shouldn't drink at all, I know what it does to me, I know all the reasons not to, and yet I drink anyway... What a terrible way to go through life.

Wish me luck this time around. I am extremely confident that this time, for real, I will give this up completely and with the support of all y'all.
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Old 05-29-2015, 08:37 PM
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[QUOTE="amp123;5395297" The quality time I spend with my kids now is streets ahead of what it was like before. [/QUOTE]

Nice
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Old 05-29-2015, 08:40 PM
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Originally Posted by CaseyW View Post
Welcome to SR, beeraholic. You'll find a ton of great support and wisdom here. Look forward to getting to know you better!

Why not make May 29 your first day sober? There's nothing extra magical about June 1.
Well, too late for May 29th... but May 30th is going to happen. June 1 is not magical. You're right. Thanks for helping me to realize that!
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Old 05-29-2015, 09:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Beeraholic View Post
Well, too late for May 29th... but May 30th is going to happen. June 1 is not magical. You're right. Thanks for helping me to realize that!
You're welcome. Hope you'll join us on the Class of May 2015 thread on this forum. It's a great way to learn from and help others who are also in early recovery just like you. Wishing you a happy and sober Saturday...
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Old 05-29-2015, 10:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Beeraholic View Post
I am not physically addicted and I don't have more than 4-6 beers a day (for over two years I have kept a log of how many beers I have every day and average just over 4 per day)
Hi Beeraholic and welcome. You say you are not "physically addicted" to beer yet you've kept a log of your consumption for the past two years. I'd suggest that log is something to think about, most people (other than alcoholics like me) don't need to track their consumption or justify it.

May 30 sounds like a good Day 1.
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Old 05-30-2015, 08:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Marcher13 View Post
Hi Beeraholic and welcome. You say you are not "physically addicted" to beer yet you've kept a log of your consumption for the past two years. I'd suggest that log is something to think about, most people (other than alcoholics like me) don't need to track their consumption or justify it. May 30 sounds like a good Day 1.
Hi. I should clarify. What I meant was that I am not addicted in such a way that I have withdrawal symptoms when I don't drink. I know I am addicted, that is why I am here and why I started keeping a log a couple of years. And that log is fascinating to look at. It is how I new for example that until my sober month I hadn't gone a full weekend, or longer than 5 days in total without drinking.
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Old 05-30-2015, 11:09 AM
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Welcome back!!

For me it came down to making some tough decisions about the activities to get involved in and the people I was going to hang out with, Sobriety as already mentioned is more than not drinking, it's revolutionising a lifestyle and that takes time.

Go at things again!! You can do this!!
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