This is not what I thought
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 5
This is not what I thought
Hi, I quit drinking thinking everything would be better. After almost 40 days, I have to say I dont feel any better.
I could not get my gf back (she broke up after my last drunk episode), I havent enjoyed parties much, I do not find anything particularly fun in life, I have been having a tremendous difficulty trying to meet new people (particularly girls), and to be a little bit honest, I am getting discouraged. I cannot drink because I am on antabuse, but this depressing lifestyle is making me want to quit sobriety.
Any advice?
I could not get my gf back (she broke up after my last drunk episode), I havent enjoyed parties much, I do not find anything particularly fun in life, I have been having a tremendous difficulty trying to meet new people (particularly girls), and to be a little bit honest, I am getting discouraged. I cannot drink because I am on antabuse, but this depressing lifestyle is making me want to quit sobriety.
Any advice?
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: rockville
Posts: 126
You have 29 more days in than me but I'm having some good luck focusing on doing the things I never liked doing after my first few drinks in the evening. I have some fun hobbies that require hand eye skills (rc planes & disc golf) that I take seriously. I've been spending a lot of time doing those things (especially during my evening "witching hour").
If you have some hobbies that you like doing when you aren't drinking, the first thing I would do is start there to find some "simple pleasure". And maybe meet some new people who enjoy doing the same things. I've met a lot of cool people flying planes at the field and on various disc golf courses. My friendships start and end at the field or course with them but I sure don't mind friendly interaction when I'm there.
Can't help with girl advice. I've been married too long.
If you have some hobbies that you like doing when you aren't drinking, the first thing I would do is start there to find some "simple pleasure". And maybe meet some new people who enjoy doing the same things. I've met a lot of cool people flying planes at the field and on various disc golf courses. My friendships start and end at the field or course with them but I sure don't mind friendly interaction when I'm there.
Can't help with girl advice. I've been married too long.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
40 days sober is great.
Try to keep in mind that there is more to recovery than stopping drinking. Have you made any other changes in your life during this time? It's not uncommon to feel uncomfortable at parties and places where alcohol is around when we are newly sober. You may need to try some new activities to help you enjoy your new sober life.
Try to keep in mind that there is more to recovery than stopping drinking. Have you made any other changes in your life during this time? It's not uncommon to feel uncomfortable at parties and places where alcohol is around when we are newly sober. You may need to try some new activities to help you enjoy your new sober life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,413
What Anna said--just not drinking isn't the same as recovery--
You need to find some things you enjoy doing that don't involve alcohol and
start looking at the underlying issues that led to the drinking in the first place.
Sobriety is fantastic if you give it a fair shot and do the work
Well done on your 40 days
You need to find some things you enjoy doing that don't involve alcohol and
start looking at the underlying issues that led to the drinking in the first place.
Sobriety is fantastic if you give it a fair shot and do the work
Well done on your 40 days
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
First off, 40 days is awesome. Congrats.
Part of recovery is not drinking, another part is dealing with the reasons that cause drinking, and another part is doing things that are of interest to you now that you have more time (and coordination) and energy to do.
Maybe take an art class, golf lessons, photography (I have focused on working out and photography). Anything you enjoy doing. Start with one activity and try to get good at it. It will hopefully make you feel better. And that could be one small step to keep you on the path of sobriety.
Hang in there!
Part of recovery is not drinking, another part is dealing with the reasons that cause drinking, and another part is doing things that are of interest to you now that you have more time (and coordination) and energy to do.
Maybe take an art class, golf lessons, photography (I have focused on working out and photography). Anything you enjoy doing. Start with one activity and try to get good at it. It will hopefully make you feel better. And that could be one small step to keep you on the path of sobriety.
Hang in there!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,755
Besides not drinking, I had to make changes to my life in recovery. I had to find new interests to keep me busy and had to get out of the drinking mindset.
Forty days is great but what else can you do for your recovery besides just staying sober? There's more to life, but you have to go out and find it.
Forty days is great but what else can you do for your recovery besides just staying sober? There's more to life, but you have to go out and find it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
If you start again you will end up getting black out drunk and doing something stupid again. Your GF left you. YOU cheated on her. She set her boundary and she might be doing you a favor by showing you what alcohol causes...
Keep your eye on the price. It isn't easy but it is worth it. We make our own lives. Talk it out. This too shall pass.
Keep your eye on the price. It isn't easy but it is worth it. We make our own lives. Talk it out. This too shall pass.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,351
Hey riig
like everyone else here just not drinking didn;t make my world suddenly awesome...but it did give me a solid platform to work on some other stuff.
Things were looking much better for me at 90 days that they did at 40 - I was barely over withdrawal and craving a drink then.
I'm sure you'll find the same
D
like everyone else here just not drinking didn;t make my world suddenly awesome...but it did give me a solid platform to work on some other stuff.
Things were looking much better for me at 90 days that they did at 40 - I was barely over withdrawal and craving a drink then.
I'm sure you'll find the same
D
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 562
Hi Rigg20..... I'm sober the same as you......46 days for me ...... Hang in there w me...... I will be amazed if I get to 90 days.....I'm amazed at 46...,,,I'm actually excited about it......let's just get to 90 days and see what we think. Personally I can't remember ever being sober 90 days.......I'm looking forward to seeing what that feels and looks like.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
It may very well be temporary - it was for me!
Anhedonia - Inability to Experience Pleasure
Congrats on 40 days! Keep it up!
Anhedonia - Inability to Experience Pleasure
Congrats on 40 days! Keep it up!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
For abstinence was the first step, but my life up until then was merely filled with plenty of time in front of the TV drinking and so take that away I was left with a whole lot of time bored out of my mind.
The second step was to rebuild a life, abstinence couldn't do that, I needed to be proactive, new hobbies, new people, new interests!!
Rome wasn't built in a day, just as a new life needs time to create!!
The second step was to rebuild a life, abstinence couldn't do that, I needed to be proactive, new hobbies, new people, new interests!!
Rome wasn't built in a day, just as a new life needs time to create!!
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