trying to be sober with alcoholic boyfriend
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Costa Mesa, California
Posts: 35
trying to be sober with alcoholic boyfriend
I really want to get sober. I think my boyfriend is alcoholic. I dont think I can be with him anymore if I am trying to sober up. He drinks every single day. He used to drink at least six pack a night, I told him I'm trying to sober up during week so he is down to one or two. Weekends all we do is go meet his friends at the bar. We walk there so no driving. I say I want to do other things than sit at a bar all weekend. He is up for anything but never suggests anything and I dont know what else to do so we end up at the bar all day and night. I was 9 months sober when I met him 2 years ago. Now, since with him Ive become an alcoholic! Ive gained 10 lbs since then, no energy, depressed always. I want to quit drinking, eat healthy, work out. But I am so sad because I think I have to leave him if all we do is go to the bar. I try to not drink around him, but he always has a beer in his hand and it really annoys me. Hate the smell of his beer on him all night! I dont know what I'm doing. I hope to come here and hear some good happy advice.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Sobriety requires some changes in lifestyle, and sometimes hard choices like relationships. But at the end of the day, this is about saving your life.
Sobriety must be your number one priority.
Be kind to yourself
Sobriety must be your number one priority.
Be kind to yourself
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kooskia, Idaho
Posts: 406
Why were you sober for 9 months before? I'm not sure anyone just becomes an alcoholic. Have you struggled with drinking before you were together? It sounds like you are unhappy regardless. Maybe it's time for a change.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Costa Mesa, California
Posts: 35
I have had a problem with alcohol since I was a teenager. I was sober 9 months because I was sick of being sick and wanted to clear my head. Then I met my boyfriend and starting slowly slipping into sickness again. And now Ive been drinking to most I ever have in my life. My daughter is off to college so I feel I have no responsibility, very lonely. So, I met this guy who was "free" but all he does is drink, sit at the bar with his so-called friends. If we do anything else besides bar, beer is included, even the movies he said we should sneak beer in. Geez!! I feel the life has been sucked out of me. I'm not sure if I can quit drinking and still be with someone who drinks evey single day. And that makes me even more sad. The thought of being sober actually makes me feel good though. But losing my boyfriend, and basically all my friends, to alcohol makes me very very sad.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Welcome to SR, want2feelgood! I'm glad you found us and hope you'll make these forums a regular part of your recovery.
It sounds like you've already made the decision in your head and are just waiting to carry it out.
It sounds like you've already made the decision in your head and are just waiting to carry it out.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
A lot of members here have to deal with drinking spouses. It's not ideal and it can be difficult but it can be done 
a good support system is important
Bims advice is sound too. Focus on the not drinking first. you'll find yourself much better equipped to make those big life decisions after a few months recovery
D
a good support system is important
Bims advice is sound too. Focus on the not drinking first. you'll find yourself much better equipped to make those big life decisions after a few months recovery
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
I agree that the main thing for you to do is to focus on not drinking yourself. If that means you have to spend time apart from your boyfriend, then that's okay. Once you feel comfortable with yourself, you can make a decision as to whether or not you want to stay in the relationship. It sounds like it will not work for you though since he is so focused on drinking. Have faith that you can find things to do and you will meet new and sober people in your life.
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