Drknz

I know most people abstain from Alcohol all together on this forum.

For those of you who are trying to quit or are in the process of trying do you ever feel guilty after having a casual drink.

I had 3 pints at the pub tonight with a friend because he worked a long day. I'd say I got a tiny bit of a buzz but not drunk, came home and had the sleepy tired feeling that I only get from a few drinks (usually if I'm drinking a lot its the opposite).

Watched TV on the couch and still feel a bit guilty about having the few beers but hey at least I didn't write myself off.

least

I don't drink at all anymore, therefore have no reason to feel guilty.

SoberLeigh

I don't drink at all anymore; I never want to test those waters again as moderation never worked for me. Nothing is worth risking my sobriety.

Nonsensical

I always felt ashamed when I didn't follow through on my plan. My plan was to not drink at all, so when I did drink (any amount) I felt ashamed about it.

ScottFromWI

There is no such thing as a "casual" drink if you are trying to quit drinking. Some call it a relapse, I just call it drinking. And it's not compatible with sobriety no matter what you want to call it.

mecanix

Anything less than getting hammered i found a frustrating and miserable experience .
I found getting hammered lead to my life being a miserable and frustrating experience when i wasn't getting drunk .
I was only happy when drinking a misery causing and unhealthy amount of alcohol and then i wasn't happy when i was drunk or after .
I didn't know what to do about it and carried on drinking , procrastination ruled me .

m

Drknz

I think that's why I feel guilty.. I've been trying too stop for at least 2 weeks and gave in because I had a wedding on the weekend and today my friend asked me to go for a beer.

But I guess not coming home completely wasted and being hungover is a win in itself

Soberpotamus

It sounds like damage control, but unfortunately, you are playing with fire.

I would be very careful in considering drinking of any kind or amount a "win" because this is how the AV (addictive voice) gets a toe in.

Ruby2

I guess I'm wondering why you had drinks because your friend had a long day at work. That's baffling to me, especially if you are trying to quit drinking altogether.

Guilt or shame shouldn't enter into the equation. You either want to quit or you don't. Having drinks because a friend had a hard day is counterintuitive to you quitting. If you want to quit, tinker with your plan and follow through. Without the guilt or shame.

bigsombrero

Drinking has caused enough pain and embarrassment in your life to make you join a Sobriety website and quit. You drank, and you feel bad about it. Makes sense. You'll probably continue to feel bad about drinking as long as you continue to do so.

Weddings happen. If you cannot control yourself at such events, don't attend. Friends ask to get beers. If you can't say "no thanks" then perhaps you should reassess what type of life you want to lead in the future. A sober life, free from alcohol, is the goal of many here. Folks who have succeeded in attaining this goal agree that it's a big improvement.

greens

Feeling guilty always made it worse-made me continue drinking harder . I like what you said, don't write yourself off and start again tomorrow

Findingtheway

For me it's all about commitment.

I'm 100% committed to NOT drinking now. Notice that's not 99.9999....

100%.

I've done the 99.9999% stuff before...And well it NEVER ends nicely for me.

I don't buy into the shame feeling either...It does nothing productive for us as human beings.

If you failed...Find out why. And pick yourself up and TRY again.

Try harder! Try a different approach. Find what works.

Shame defeats us. I have no use for it.

Nonsensical

My AV says the exact same thing.

Lennox

There were times where I could have a few drinks and not get drunk...this was usually due to luck to be honest (running out of booze/my lift wanting to leave etc) - I know I can't have one drink as most of the time it will lead to self destruction. I actually feel guilty even thinking about drinking so yes I could imagine if I had a few and didn't get drunk I would still feel very guilty and disappointed in my effort to stay sober.

MisterChill

I'm not nearly as far along as many on here (only day 9) but I'm no stranger to trying to "back it down" or "knock it off for a couple weeks". Every single time it ended up exactly the same. I ended right back up into the daily grind of what I was trying to avoid with my "attempts". Slippery slope for most and I'm as guilty as the next guy.

If you stopped for a couple weeks then you likely identified a personal problem or conflict that required action. If you are one of the rare few who can drink "just a little" and "every once in a while" while being satisfied with that and never progress back to your problem or conflicted state then you may be different.

Been there done that. Never seemed to work out the way I wanted and I never felt good about the slip back to my norm but once I was there I stayed there until the next time I wanted to "back it down". Took me at least 4 years to finally and fully accept that it doesn't work like that for me.

Dee74

When I decided I wanted to quit, I really had to change my life Drnkz.
There will always be a party or a mate down the pub or a bad day or whatever.

You have to be committed to sobriety.

Sounds like you're in the stage where you want to drink but not have the bad stuff happen.

I don't know how to do that - but I tried for 20 years.

Don't waste decades on it.

D

MisterChill

Thanks for this, Dee. I was on that path for sure. Watching time go by with nothing to show for it except half attempts and nothing changing. I took pride in quitting drinking during the week for 6 weeks back in 2013. I didn't get smashed on the weekends but I drank my normal "fix" and then battled it out for 5 days waiting for the green light again. Looking back it seems clear to me now how far off the mark I really was.

MIRecovery

Drinking a little is like being a little pregnant. At first it doesn't show much but give it a few months and there will be no doubt.

For all of the people I've met we only have two speeds. Being an alcoholic or not drinking.

The more I drank the more I suffered from guilt and shame so my solution was to drink more