SylentJezter

And talk things out.

I hit a small snag this weekend.

I made it through the birthday party and sleep overs on Thursday and Friday, the wedding on Saturday, and spent all of Sunday watching cheesy sci-fi movies. Things were looking good. Then I drank yesterday. Why? I have no logical reason why. I didn't have any cravings, I haven't for 10 days. I wasn't upset or depressed. It was just something I did. Kind of like one of those habits, that just occur when your not thinking about it. Like tying your shoes in the morning.

I don't know why, it just happened. Am I upset about it? No, I was expecting to hit a relapse at some point. Do I feel guilty? A little, it was bound to happen, but I do feel like I could of done more to prevent it.

Well, with all that being said, I don't believe in starting over from day 1. I didn't lose 10 days of sobriety because of this. I lost 1. I look at it like sports standings. I am now 10-1. Now, I just gotta keep it that way.

TroyW

Welcome (back) to SR SylentJezter.

Sasha4

I used to do that sometimes.
Get through the important dates, then relieved it was all over and I had not drunk, I celebrated with a drink.

I finally realised that drinking was not a reward for anything for me.

Wish you the best xx

biminiblue

When I first stopped drinking this last time I decided that I would never drink again. I was really done. I went to AA meetings and there were all these people who kept quitting and starting again. I decided that wasn't going to be me.

And it hasn't been.

I don't want to go back to that misery. You can have it. I totally accept that alcohol and I are done. It's not that I don't think about it, I do. I just don't want that awful life ever again.

buk1000

Welcome back Jezter. I did that a few times when I first tried to get sober. If it happens again, you might want to ask yourself why you're letting yourself off so easy.

"I chose a half measure, when I should have gone all the way... I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures, Walter."
--Mike Ehrmantraut

Keep hanging around. 10 days is a good start.

Anna

[QUOTE=SylentJezter;5390770]. Am I upset about it? No, I was expecting to hit a relapse at some point. QUOTE]

Your expectations become your reality. Yes, relapses happen, but you certainly don't need to expect one.

I'm glad you're back and working on recovery.

SylentJezter

Thank you Anna,

You are absolutely right. I expected it, and that may actually be the cause. I really need to take this event, turn it around, analyze the issue, regroup and move on.

Hevyn

I think posting more often will be good SJ.

I did that many times - decided I could relax a bit because I was doing well - next thing I knew a drink was in my hand. I had to have really bad things happen in order to wake up and see that I couldn't touch the stuff. Glad it didn't end up in a binge for you.

Dee74

I often got through hard stuff and then drank, like I as relieved it was all over...

It really is possible to decide to commit to recovery and not drink again
It takes a lot of work (especially in the beginning) but it's absolutely achievable - for anyone

Relapse is not inevitable - if we're thinking in the back of our mind that it is, I think we're setting ourselves up for another fall...

D