donkenzie

I don't know who to talk to. I'm hoping this will provide some insight. My boyfriend is 28, athletic and otherwise healthy. He's very ambitious and works several jobs, all successfully. He's a wonderful boyfriend--kind, encouraging--we have a lot of fun together, and I suspect an engagement may even be coming soon. He's always been a "partier" and he's very social. He loves getting together with his many social circles, and drinking is always a part of that. I've never been thrilled with how much he drinks in the two years we've been together, but I'm beginning to wonder if I should be legitimately concerned about alcohol dependency, or if he's just more of a drinker than I am (which would be easy...I barely drink.) During the week, he doesn't typically have more than a beer or two, but during the weekends it's more like 5 or so drinks (big ones) in a night, and occasionally we're talking serious binge drinking, like 9 or more drinks in a night which has already happened twice this month. It's also worth noting that his mom has a fairly serious alcohol problem. I'm staying up at night even thinking that this could be his reality...I love this man so much! I just want to know how concerned I should be, and what the next step should be if my concern is legitimate. Thank you in advance!

Dee74

Welcome to SR

If you're concerned you're concerned donkenzie

have you ever broached the subject of his drinking and how it makes you feel
?

D

least

Welcome! If you haven't talked to him already about your concern, do so. But if his drinking concerns you, or scares you, that's a big red flag.

donkenzie

I have, several times. He came up with a plan for this year which I know he followed for quite awhile, but it still seems like the weekends are pretty much free-for-alls where he drinks as much as he wants. The frustrating thing is that on weekend nights where it's just me and him, he'll have a few beers and that's it and it's no big deal, but the second we step out with friends or go to a bar, he loses control. I know he doesn't like making me feel bad when he binges, it seems like he feels guilty, but he'll still occasionally let it happen (like last night for his 10 year reunion and his birthday a few weeks ago.)

Anna

If you've talked to him about the drinking and how it bothers you and he continues to drink and binge at times, then you need to look at the situation realistically. You can't make him change, he would need to decide that for himself. So, do you want to continue to live this way?

ACT10Npack

Good time to talk to him about his heavy drinking at social pleases.