Jynxie67

Yes, though I divorced him I still care what happens to him.
He is misplacing/loosing items shows bruises and scratches he does not recall how he got them, and a couple weeks ago got stoned on weed along with getting drunk.
He seems to be progressing to the point of no return. So sad to be witness to all this

Liveitwell

I feel your pain-truly. It's hard to watch someone we love/once loved continue to make bad choices. Wishing YOU peace.

LexieCat

It always progresses--faster for some than for others.

Just curious, how is it that you know so MUCH about what is going on with him? For me, one of the big advantages of divorcing my second husband was not having to WATCH what was happening to him with his drinking. I still cared about what happened to him, too--I wanted him to get well--but I was SO glad to give up that front-row seat for his self-destruction.

Jynxie67

We work at the same place so we see each other on an almost daily basis. Since we are both adults, we still chat on occasion. That is how I know so much. Would be kinda silly to ignore each other at work. And I do ask him how things are going with him, and he asks how I am. So there is still a level of connection, for lack of a better word.
Thanks for all your responses. I appreciate the input

Slothy

Jynxie, its so hard to see and or hear about how the disease is progressing in our loved ones. Although we let them go, I don't think anyone of us wants to see them suffer or get sick! Unfortunately, it is reality if they continue to drink. You are right....so sad and heartbreaking!

LexieCat

Oh, OK, makes sense. Still, if it were I, I think I'd be thinking about finding another job where I didn't have to be around him all the time. I'm not saying you "should" do that, just musing on what I'd probably do.

Seren

I'm glad you have such an amicable relationship with your ex-husband, Jynxie. There are many here who have divorced or broken up with their significant others and been on the receiving end of verbal abuse, hostility, physical abuse, or stalking behavior. I think that is why many just could not work with an ex.

I hope that someday your ex will decide that he really wants a better life--sober.

noinsanity2423

My ex alcoholic, drug addict, sex addict, verbally abusive fiancé had blackouts when she drank as long as I can remember. It starts with the blackouts, but they are typically doing harmful things that they choose not to remember. When my fiancé blacked out, she was typically at her most verbally abusive stage towards me, and she was very sexually aggressive. This led to her cheating on me with a lesbian and with another man. I hate to say it, but there's a reason he doesn't want to remember. Alcoholism is a progressive and fatal disease. He will get better if he wants to, but the only thing that we can do is work on ourselves. The alcoholic is holding a can of spray paint, and if you get too close, they will spray you with a can of alcoholism. I had to block her completely to avoid getting sprayed with more abuse, blaming, insults, and guilt tripping until she dies or sends me a letter starting with: "Dear ___, I've been sober 90 days, and I'm currently in counseling and regularly attending a 12 step program... I'm sorry for ruining our relationship and forcing you to leave due to my shameful behavior while drunk and stoned. I respect your decision to leave, but I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me."

Either way, I have to move on with my life. You can't keep hoping they will change because most do not.