Drinking ruining my life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: London
Posts: 4
Drinking ruining my life
My drinking is a massive issue. It has ruined potential relationships, friendships,my reputation,.ive gotten in terrible and dangerous situations and yet I can't stop. I try but can't do it for more than two weeks, I've been to AA and smart recovery but nothing works ever for me.
I'm female and binge drink. One a week or so! I drink to the point of blackout and get in terrible situations such as being attacked and getting brought home by police etc, yet nothing stops me as after a week or two I forget ! I have lost friends a
Nd haven't been able to sustain any form of relationships. I met a guy I really liked but after a few weeks he dumped me cos of the way I am when I drink! It is totally ruining my life! I have made many attempts to stop drinking but just can't do it! It is ruining my life! I am filled with anxiety, remorse and embarrassment of things I have done! I've caused arguments, told secrets that I shouldn't when drunk but still I always go back to drinking when I know that I am not capable of stopping once I stRt! I am basically known as a train wreck! I am most upset that I met someone I really like and that my drinking destroyed it! I would like a relationship and family but just don't think I can ever stop drinking.
I'm a nice person but when I'm drunk I'm a disaster and my reputation is in tatters.
I have referred my self for one to one counselling but don't think that will stop me! At my wits end! Any advice
I'm female and binge drink. One a week or so! I drink to the point of blackout and get in terrible situations such as being attacked and getting brought home by police etc, yet nothing stops me as after a week or two I forget ! I have lost friends a
Nd haven't been able to sustain any form of relationships. I met a guy I really liked but after a few weeks he dumped me cos of the way I am when I drink! It is totally ruining my life! I have made many attempts to stop drinking but just can't do it! It is ruining my life! I am filled with anxiety, remorse and embarrassment of things I have done! I've caused arguments, told secrets that I shouldn't when drunk but still I always go back to drinking when I know that I am not capable of stopping once I stRt! I am basically known as a train wreck! I am most upset that I met someone I really like and that my drinking destroyed it! I would like a relationship and family but just don't think I can ever stop drinking.
I'm a nice person but when I'm drunk I'm a disaster and my reputation is in tatters.
I have referred my self for one to one counselling but don't think that will stop me! At my wits end! Any advice
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome Belladella. You'll find lots of support and those who understand here as SR. Glad to hear you are seeing a counselor, perhaps they can help find a plan that will work for you. Many folks here have been exactly where you are too, so hopefully you can learn from them as well.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,781
Welcome to SR. 
The solution is simple, but not easy. You have to put the bottle down for good. Take drinking off the table as an option. One of these days you'll get into a situation you can't get out of. 
I hope the support here can help you get sober for good.
The solution is simple, but not easy. You have to put the bottle down for good. Take drinking off the table as an option. One of these days you'll get into a situation you can't get out of. 
I hope the support here can help you get sober for good.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,358
Welcome, Bella. We have all been through the hell of trying to figure out how not to drink. I find that coming on this site when the urges hit help a lot. I've also found that there is no magic about not drinking. It's a lot of hard work and I need to attend daily to a clear focus and a loving attitude. I meditate every morning. I pray. I hike. It's been a process, believe me. And it has been worth it. So wonderful to see you here!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Family intervened on me 24 yrs ago
when I refused to admit I was sick,
that I had an addiction, and needed
help.
I was placed in the hands of those
who could teach me about addiction,
my illness and its affects on my mind,
body and soul.
28 days was a good start for me and
as I once again reflect back on that dark
time in my life, was and still is a blessing
and a gift in my life and recovery that I
will not take for granted.
28 days allowed the poison to exit
my body to make room for some
valuable information to be absorbed
in my mind. I was taught 3 important
steps to take at first which was.....
WILLINGNESS, OPEN-MINDEDNESS
and HONESTY.
Once I began those 3, not in any order,
and not all 3 at once, but each time I
brought my body then the mind would
follow be open to listen, learn, absorb
and finally apply those teachings to my
everyday life.
Over the yrs. Ive been like many going
thru struggles in life, accepting life on
lifes terms, living a recovery life using
steps and principles of the AA program
as a guideline to help me remain sober
a many one days at a time to get me where
I am today.
It didn't happen over nite by no means,
because I had to learn the living a recovery
life is a way of life to achieve those promises
granted to us as written in the Big Book of
AA.
Today, I still remain openminded, willing,
and honest as well a teachable for new
and every changing life expectancies.
Bring the mind and the body will follow
however long it takes for the knowledge
of recovery sinks in.
when I refused to admit I was sick,
that I had an addiction, and needed
help.
I was placed in the hands of those
who could teach me about addiction,
my illness and its affects on my mind,
body and soul.
28 days was a good start for me and
as I once again reflect back on that dark
time in my life, was and still is a blessing
and a gift in my life and recovery that I
will not take for granted.
28 days allowed the poison to exit
my body to make room for some
valuable information to be absorbed
in my mind. I was taught 3 important
steps to take at first which was.....
WILLINGNESS, OPEN-MINDEDNESS
and HONESTY.
Once I began those 3, not in any order,
and not all 3 at once, but each time I
brought my body then the mind would
follow be open to listen, learn, absorb
and finally apply those teachings to my
everyday life.
Over the yrs. Ive been like many going
thru struggles in life, accepting life on
lifes terms, living a recovery life using
steps and principles of the AA program
as a guideline to help me remain sober
a many one days at a time to get me where
I am today.
It didn't happen over nite by no means,
because I had to learn the living a recovery
life is a way of life to achieve those promises
granted to us as written in the Big Book of
AA.
Today, I still remain openminded, willing,
and honest as well a teachable for new
and every changing life expectancies.
Bring the mind and the body will follow
however long it takes for the knowledge
of recovery sinks in.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: London
Posts: 4
Thanks for the replies �� I have tried so many times to stop drinking but feel hopeless as I know after a few weeks I will start again! I think evet time it will be different! It never is! I just can't see a way out! I'm 35 and have been drinking Since I was 15,! I wish I could not be controlled by it!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,023
Hey Bella
For starters, I would recommend that you stay close to this forum and post as much as you comfortably can. Also, join the May class (which is on this page). Read the threads in the various forums especially those that discuss recovery programs such as AA, AVRT, etc.
Be patient with yourself. Take time to read and understand the addiction and ways of overcoming it. Ultimately it will likely be complete abstinence from alcohol but there are many ways to approach this.
In my own experience, I found the KISS principle to be critical in the early days (Keep It Simple, Stupid).
Anyhow, welcome to SR ! Do treat the forum as a safe haven for you to vent, post questions (no such thing as a stupid question but there is such a thing as a stupid answer
), etc. We're a very caring and non-judgemental bunch with a few oddballs that make it interesting :p
For starters, I would recommend that you stay close to this forum and post as much as you comfortably can. Also, join the May class (which is on this page). Read the threads in the various forums especially those that discuss recovery programs such as AA, AVRT, etc.
Be patient with yourself. Take time to read and understand the addiction and ways of overcoming it. Ultimately it will likely be complete abstinence from alcohol but there are many ways to approach this.
In my own experience, I found the KISS principle to be critical in the early days (Keep It Simple, Stupid).
Anyhow, welcome to SR ! Do treat the forum as a safe haven for you to vent, post questions (no such thing as a stupid question but there is such a thing as a stupid answer
), etc. We're a very caring and non-judgemental bunch with a few oddballs that make it interesting :p
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Welcome to SR!
Belladella, there are thousands and thousands of members of this very board that drank just as much or more than you and felt just like you, and they now have years of continuous sobriety under their belts. You can do this too. First step is to not drink no matter what. Glad you've found us here and glad you're going to get some counseling. There is a ton of great support and wisdom to be found here, hope to see you post often!
Belladella, there are thousands and thousands of members of this very board that drank just as much or more than you and felt just like you, and they now have years of continuous sobriety under their belts. You can do this too. First step is to not drink no matter what. Glad you've found us here and glad you're going to get some counseling. There is a ton of great support and wisdom to be found here, hope to see you post often!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
You have taken your first step by logging on to this site. Congratulations! This can help you so much! Countless others have been just where you are and have been able to kick the habit of self medicating. You can too. When you start to drink listen for the voice inside you that seems to tell you, "I can't stand sobriety any longer! I just can't it! I've got to have just one! Just to get myself back on an even keel!" Where is this voice coming from? Is this you? Or does it come from somewhere deep down in your brain that wants you to drink because your body has changed so much that alcohol is to it like water?
All this can be changed. But it takes time. Getting help from a doctor well trained in addiction can be a big help. He or she can give you a carefully controlled prescription that can ease your anxiety, but must be sure you don't get addicted to pills (small amounts, renewable only by the doctor). Then a group of other persons in recovery. It's much safer and easier (none of it is "easy"- just "easier") not to try this alone. You say you haven't had much success with AA or Smart Recovery. If not, then try another group, anything to get others involved. And avoid old friends who drink and might encourage you to resume drinking (e.g. "Join us in just one! One won't hurt! Don't be stuffy!").
And keep logging on to this website. Good luck!
All this can be changed. But it takes time. Getting help from a doctor well trained in addiction can be a big help. He or she can give you a carefully controlled prescription that can ease your anxiety, but must be sure you don't get addicted to pills (small amounts, renewable only by the doctor). Then a group of other persons in recovery. It's much safer and easier (none of it is "easy"- just "easier") not to try this alone. You say you haven't had much success with AA or Smart Recovery. If not, then try another group, anything to get others involved. And avoid old friends who drink and might encourage you to resume drinking (e.g. "Join us in just one! One won't hurt! Don't be stuffy!").
And keep logging on to this website. Good luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: London
Posts: 4
Thanks for all your advice. Unfortunately I don't think I would be able to get into an inpatient rehab but it is something I would be interested in.
I will try and use this sight to get some inspiration and advice.
I will try and use this sight to get some inspiration and advice.
Into the Void
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: California
Posts: 931
Welcome, BD. Former weekend binger here. I also scared off God knows how many relationships with my drinking. You can do this thing! It's really all mental. You have already stated that booze is wrecking your life. It does nothing real for you other than deliver that warm buzz that soon turns nasty on you. But the chemical addiction tricks your mind into thinking that life is unlivable without out it -- total BS. You need to consistently recognize that addictive voice for what it is. Your mind being hijacked by that foul depraving poison that is wrecking your chances for happiness. You don't have to live this way any more!
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