My pothead husband
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 1
My pothead husband
Here I am again a weekend of misery. My husband of 27 years is a pothead and has been for 30 + years. I spend every weekend holding onto false promises that he will do something with me. Our children are grown and also smoke pot. I am the classic enabler. I always dream of leaving and living a happy life. I just mull through the weekend and survive the week with my job. I really hate my life. is this normal behavior living with a pothead.
Last edited by Dentition; 05-23-2015 at 05:16 PM. Reason: dpelling
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello Dentition, Welcome to SR!
I moved your thread to the Friends and Family of Substance Abuser's forum so that it would receive the attention it deserves from people who really do understand--
I'm sorry to hear about all you have been through. You have found a great place for support! Welcome, again.
Seren
I moved your thread to the Friends and Family of Substance Abuser's forum so that it would receive the attention it deserves from people who really do understand--
I'm sorry to hear about all you have been through. You have found a great place for support! Welcome, again.
Seren
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Sounds like you're feeling stuck and you've been in this pattern for a long time. Since your husband is getting high all weekend, maybe you could just make some plans for yourself that don't include him- dinner with friends, a movie, some shopping, even just a walk to enjoy the weather (hope it's nice where you are, we've been having quite a bit of rain). Waiting on him to follow through with promises seems like a recipe for disappointment. Sometimes we have to take those first steps to make our own happiness.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
There is a way forward, Dentition. It is possible to be happy whether or not the people we love are currently using.
However, the only person you can change in this situation is you. If you want to learn how to react and interact differently with your husband and children, then you have certainly come to the right place!
You deserve joy and peace in your own home!!
However, the only person you can change in this situation is you. If you want to learn how to react and interact differently with your husband and children, then you have certainly come to the right place!
You deserve joy and peace in your own home!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 574
If you wish to be happy, then take a step today to make that happen.
One step at a time, one decision ... do something for yourself today that you have put off doing, go for a walk - just you and nature, sit in the sunshine, have your nails done - anything that will help bring about the feeling of independence and peace. It may seem trivial yet do it anyways.
You are important and you matter - don't let someone else keep your happiness hostage, especially you.
One step at a time, one decision ... do something for yourself today that you have put off doing, go for a walk - just you and nature, sit in the sunshine, have your nails done - anything that will help bring about the feeling of independence and peace. It may seem trivial yet do it anyways.
You are important and you matter - don't let someone else keep your happiness hostage, especially you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
normal behavior? Um, smoking pot 24/7...NO!
We had a baby together and EVERYTHING revolved around smoking pot. Waiting for the dealer. Waiting for him to get stoned...in the morning before we took our child to the park. Waiting for him to smoke right after he got home for work. Always waiting. Then once he was stoned he was like talking to a wall. ANd the smell. He smoked in our garage away from our child. I remember coming home from the grocery story and our whole house reeked.
He wouldn't stop. He lost his job because he couldn't pass a test.
Then, it evolved to cocaine.
No, there is no "normal" in drug use. If you aren't happy, you deserve happy. How can you get out. Stop settling.
You can do it.
We had a baby together and EVERYTHING revolved around smoking pot. Waiting for the dealer. Waiting for him to get stoned...in the morning before we took our child to the park. Waiting for him to smoke right after he got home for work. Always waiting. Then once he was stoned he was like talking to a wall. ANd the smell. He smoked in our garage away from our child. I remember coming home from the grocery story and our whole house reeked.
He wouldn't stop. He lost his job because he couldn't pass a test.
Then, it evolved to cocaine.
No, there is no "normal" in drug use. If you aren't happy, you deserve happy. How can you get out. Stop settling.
You can do it.
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