Nowsthetime

This is an update for a post u made yesterday.

I went on my dinner with girlfriends. I told my friend I wouldn't drink. Then when we got to the place she goes "you should have one of these cocktails". I said "No, I don't want to start my count over" and a girls that was there (but isn't close to me so she didn't know ) asked what that was about and I told her I had 14 months and that I didn't want to start my count over plus I didn't want to have just 1 drink. She backed me up and said "oh don't do it, it's not worth it".

So this quasi stranger supported me more than this friend. They have been friends for a long time and at some point I felt like my "friend" was having an inside joke about me with the other... I don't know. Maybe I was paranoid.

I heard and saw a lot of thing that I didn't like and I ended up really turned off. I didn't drink and I'm not going to.

ArtFriend

Sounds like your GF is either jealous of you on some level or she feels threatened by your sobriety. The other person who supported you doesn't have any emotional ties to you, so she doesn't have an agenda. You explained yourself, she accepted, done. Not sure if going out for drinks with this GF is a good idea. She undermines your efforts for whatever reason.

ishallnotwant

Friends love us unconditionally, support us in our decisions, lovingly point out areas that may need adjusting, are open and honest, laugh with us in joy, cry with us in pain, and make our lives better in sharing it with them.

kernalsand3rs88

Normal people don't get it that's why you are on this forum. That's why everyone on here is here. Sobriety is going to be a lifelong challenge but I guess you get better at it with practice as with everything

buk1000

If this has been a consistent pattern over 14 months and you have made it clear to this person you are no longer drinking, then you should no longer be referring to this person as a "friend". I'd move on from this. It's not worth the stress and hassle.

BoutDamnTime

Apparently one did, just not the "friend".

greens

Some people REALLY don't get it . may be they don't know how to have fun without drinking . How nice that the other woman was more understanding, I've found this is how most people are ,

Leohearmeroar

Someone mentioned "normal" in this thread. What is normal exactly? I don't believe anyone is normal, drinker or non-drinker. At least not that I've met.

kernalsand3rs88

Normal meaning people without substance abuse issues

Gonnachange

In its most basic terms a true friend will support any positive changes you make. If they don't then they are not a friend.

DrunkTx

I couldn't disagree more with the general principal that a friend is not really a friend if they push liquor on you (us) an alcoholic. Most normies really can't even comprehend what we are saying. As simply as they can stop, they give you the same respect that you can stop. It's actually not at all intended negatively. Some of my closest friends continue to ask me to have just one drink. They are the most genuine and loving people I know. They defend me, they include me, they love me - I have no doubt. But they just can't even fathom addiction. Those that can in my experience either have lived with it in their family or ar addicts themselves.

buk1000

I think there's truth in what you are saying Drunktx. There is definitely gray area. I had friends that asked me about it years into sobriety out of ignorance. Once I quickly explained the situation to them, they never asked again. Had they persisted I would have quit hanging out with them.

I'm not saying they would be bad people. But definitely not friends.