My husband is really, truly "sober"
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
My husband is really, truly "sober"
I came here because he relapsed after 10 years. Got back on track pretty quickly from that I think its been 3 years or close to it.
But, there were the pain meds. He has a chronic illness. He has been on pain management since when he was still a drunk I guess thats about 15 years. We have talked about coming off them A LOT. Lots of meetings with Doctors, those that said it can be done, those that questioned whether or not he could live a quality life.
To meet him, you would not have known that he was taking 150 mg daily of morphine and a 100 mcg fentanyl patch. He was not high off of it. The only time I ever saw him messed up was if he was hospitalized and they shot him of full of dilaudid he would be on another planet.
For 10 years his illness was really bad. Then we met, fell in love and started building a life. He got healthier. Better doctors here. I got him off of bachelor boxed food. He has chronic pancreatitis - food is a major factor. His hospitalizations started decreasing. He had been told it would not get better - it did by leaps and bounds.
Then last September while watching something on TV he turned around and said "I want to get off the pain meds". WOW. I didn't think it would happen. He was very specific that he would not go to detox, he would not go to rehab. Would I come with him to his doctor and see what to do.
His pain management clinic wanted him to go to a doctor specializing in getting patients off pain meds. We did meet with that doctor and neither was impressed with the program. We went back to pain management and we asked for a detox weaning off the meds. They were the ones handing out the scripts for 5 years so if they specialize in pain and prescribing addictive meds certainly who knows better than how to specialize in how to safely getting him off? 2 hours later we had a plan.
And today, 8 months later, my husband made his last visit to pain management. There were lots of cheers and hugs and I don't think I have ever seen him have more pride in himself.
There have been so many changes in him...
- He no longer has high blood pressure (I would never have guessed that would happen)
- He sleeps well as opposed to waking frequently
- He has far less rapid cycling (he is bipolar) actually, I don't notice moodiness at all
- He can go to the bathroom with no issues
- He has come off sleep meds, constipation meds, high blood pressure meds
- His blood sugars are not whack all over the place he is taking far less insulin than before
- He has an appetite
And the really big one - He is NOT in any pain. In fact, he was in MORE pain when he was taking the pain meds.
The first two months were really hard, he never waivered. He relied on the program when it got hard and we prayed a lot. Mentally he was ready but physically is what wasn't easy in the beginning. He wasn't suffering though - it was doable.
I am just so damn proud of him I can't put into words. Another chapter for Red and RAH. I'm looking forward to it.
But, there were the pain meds. He has a chronic illness. He has been on pain management since when he was still a drunk I guess thats about 15 years. We have talked about coming off them A LOT. Lots of meetings with Doctors, those that said it can be done, those that questioned whether or not he could live a quality life.
To meet him, you would not have known that he was taking 150 mg daily of morphine and a 100 mcg fentanyl patch. He was not high off of it. The only time I ever saw him messed up was if he was hospitalized and they shot him of full of dilaudid he would be on another planet.
For 10 years his illness was really bad. Then we met, fell in love and started building a life. He got healthier. Better doctors here. I got him off of bachelor boxed food. He has chronic pancreatitis - food is a major factor. His hospitalizations started decreasing. He had been told it would not get better - it did by leaps and bounds.
Then last September while watching something on TV he turned around and said "I want to get off the pain meds". WOW. I didn't think it would happen. He was very specific that he would not go to detox, he would not go to rehab. Would I come with him to his doctor and see what to do.
His pain management clinic wanted him to go to a doctor specializing in getting patients off pain meds. We did meet with that doctor and neither was impressed with the program. We went back to pain management and we asked for a detox weaning off the meds. They were the ones handing out the scripts for 5 years so if they specialize in pain and prescribing addictive meds certainly who knows better than how to specialize in how to safely getting him off? 2 hours later we had a plan.
And today, 8 months later, my husband made his last visit to pain management. There were lots of cheers and hugs and I don't think I have ever seen him have more pride in himself.
There have been so many changes in him...
- He no longer has high blood pressure (I would never have guessed that would happen)
- He sleeps well as opposed to waking frequently
- He has far less rapid cycling (he is bipolar) actually, I don't notice moodiness at all
- He can go to the bathroom with no issues
- He has come off sleep meds, constipation meds, high blood pressure meds
- His blood sugars are not whack all over the place he is taking far less insulin than before
- He has an appetite
And the really big one - He is NOT in any pain. In fact, he was in MORE pain when he was taking the pain meds.
The first two months were really hard, he never waivered. He relied on the program when it got hard and we prayed a lot. Mentally he was ready but physically is what wasn't easy in the beginning. He wasn't suffering though - it was doable.
I am just so damn proud of him I can't put into words. Another chapter for Red and RAH. I'm looking forward to it.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 493
Hugs to both of you! What a wonderful success story! I'm very happy for you and your husband. It seems you were the difference for him to want to be healthy. Not in a codependent sort of way but an inspirational way that he wanted to be healthy to have more time to spend with you!
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Originally Posted by searching peace 
Hugs to both of you! What a wonderful success story! I'm very happy for you and your husband. It seems you were the difference for him to want to be healthy. Not in a codependent sort of way but an inspirational way that he wanted to be healthy to have more time to spend with you!
In the end this was all him. I don't have to power to make someone want to be healthier or really work the program. If I did this would have happened very early on.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Thanks for posting about his huge success. As a recovering alcoholic I know pain meds cause many recovering alcoholics to relapse so your husband obviously worked very hard at his recovery. I sponsor a woman (sober 22 years) who until recently, took opium daily for ten years for a gastrointestinal problem. She never got high, but during a 54 day hospital stay, the doctors took her off it. She went into major withdrawal and is now on methadone (again, it doesn't make her high). I'm proud of her for struggling with necessary medication without relapsing.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 493
Originally Posted by redatlanta
That's very sweet of you SP my husband says the same. I think it more pertinent that this story shows how depression can cause you to be physically sicker, and how important it is in recovery to build a new life. Gotta have something to look forward to, need stability, need activity, need people and relationships. In hindsight I would say he was a dry drunk for a long time. He has seemed to successfully gone through the 12 steps after he relapsed way more so than the 10 years he stayed sober before it. In the end this was all him. I don't have to power to make someone want to be healthier or really work the program. If I did this would have happened very early on.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr
Thanks for posting about his huge success. As a recovering alcoholic I know pain meds cause many recovering alcoholics to relapse so your husband obviously worked very hard at his recovery. I sponsor a woman (sober 22 years) who until recently, took opium daily for ten years for a gastrointestinal problem. She never got high, but during a 54 day hospital stay, the doctors took her off it. She went into major withdrawal and is now on methadone (again, it doesn't make her high). I'm proud of her for struggling with necessary medication without relapsing.
I consider pain management offices to be necessary evils. My impression of the couple that we went to (when he first moved here we visited 3 to decide where to go) was the same. I did not like the doctors, I did not like the staff. IMO they were rude and abrupt, very uninterested in listening to his history, or taking into account his other issues. They had previously wanted to add in SSRI anti depressants that are known to help with pain not noticing that he is bi-polar which was listed in his medical history.
Normally RAH did not see a doctor he saw a PA. We had approached getting him off the meds or at least reducing them several times. NO. "you'll stay on this regimen or you can find another clinic". When we were adamant in September the head Doc who was his doctor, and an utter assh*le, wrote us a plan to have him off that level of opioids in 30 days inclusive of an immediate reduction of morphine by 60mg and fentanyl for 50mg
. The reason we got cooperation was because we threatened to file a complaint with the hospital they are affiliated with, and at that point they brought in another Doc we had never met who supervised and made the plan. I know there are others in the same boat equally as frustrated being told its not the job of the pain management doctor to get the patient off meds if they have developed a physical addiction. BULL. It was a pages long plan that added in things along the way for a week here or a couple days there. Overall he was mildly uncomfortable the first 3 days, and agitated for a couple of weeks. After that the improvements in how he felt were huge. His memory is back along with the other things I have mentioned. These meds were making him sick their initial purpose and need had long passed. He should have been taken off of them around 2009.
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