sorcharuane

I had such a good few days earlier in the week, the easiest so far since breaking up with alcoholic almost 4 weeks ago. Then yesterday I started to get an odd pang of missing him. Maybe because I haven't heard from him since Sunday after him pestering me for a couple of weeks, maybe because I'm premenstrual and just a bit lonely and low, maybe because it's the weekend, maybe because I caught a gimpse of him yesterday as I drove past his house and he is still physically attractive to me, maybe because my son and his girlfriend who had a baby just a couple of weeks ago are now having serious problems and my car is making a weird noise and taking a few attempts to get started and......well, life you know!

And I miss having someone to chew it all over with, no, I have friends, I miss having him when he's sober to go over it all with. I think I'm getting over it and then I find the pain coming up again. And then I came on here and read a few posts and it just reminds me why I don't want to be in it anymore. If he doesn't get into recovery and start working a programme nothing will change. My neediness would almost have me believing this is my hero, my knight in shining armour. The one who will help me solve all my problems, not the one who has probably contributed to most of the problems I've had in the time I've known him. It's still a bit lonely tonight though, but it will pass and I am grateful for the few days respite I had earlier this week.

firebolt

It will pass. GOOF FOR YOU for running here, and not to him. The pangs will get further and fewer between as you keep recovering!