So Close
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Cyprus
Posts: 53
So Close
Hello everyone.
I woke up this morning feeling a lot more grateful than usual (almost 10.30 am here) I enjoyed my coffee a lot more than I have been lately and I had a smile on my face which just seemed to be stuck! Why?
Today is my 98th day of sobriety and last night was the closest I came to breaking it. The AV took complete control over me, all I could think of was having a drink, how good it would taste plus all the other thoughts that creep into your head trying to convince you to drink.
Later in the evening I simply walked to the store already decided on the brand of vodka I was going to buy. I stood in front of the shelf and stared for what seemed like an eternity. Not sure what it is but something just convinced me to walk away, to go out and think it through, so I did.
I took a long walk and my brain was debating, good v evil! I kept reminding my self of the seizures, the nights in the hospital, the hallucinations...Fortunately I just got back home, watched a movie and went to sleep.
I am so lucky that I got away with it, I was honestly just a split second away from doing something that I would have deeply regretted.
Until yesterday I had managed very well with my sobriety, I felt I was in total control however last night taught me a very important lesson and that is never to let my guard down and try and be prepared for such incidents, have a ready course of action to counter the AV when it peaks, be it by taking a long walk, going for a swim or simply stuffing my self with good food! Whatever it takes basically...
Again, I am really so grateful and I feel so proud of my self this morning for overcoming the evil!
Thanks
I woke up this morning feeling a lot more grateful than usual (almost 10.30 am here) I enjoyed my coffee a lot more than I have been lately and I had a smile on my face which just seemed to be stuck! Why?
Today is my 98th day of sobriety and last night was the closest I came to breaking it. The AV took complete control over me, all I could think of was having a drink, how good it would taste plus all the other thoughts that creep into your head trying to convince you to drink.
Later in the evening I simply walked to the store already decided on the brand of vodka I was going to buy. I stood in front of the shelf and stared for what seemed like an eternity. Not sure what it is but something just convinced me to walk away, to go out and think it through, so I did.
I took a long walk and my brain was debating, good v evil! I kept reminding my self of the seizures, the nights in the hospital, the hallucinations...Fortunately I just got back home, watched a movie and went to sleep.
I am so lucky that I got away with it, I was honestly just a split second away from doing something that I would have deeply regretted.
Until yesterday I had managed very well with my sobriety, I felt I was in total control however last night taught me a very important lesson and that is never to let my guard down and try and be prepared for such incidents, have a ready course of action to counter the AV when it peaks, be it by taking a long walk, going for a swim or simply stuffing my self with good food! Whatever it takes basically...
Again, I am really so grateful and I feel so proud of my self this morning for overcoming the evil!
Thanks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Cyprus
Posts: 53
Originally Posted by Justbreathe1980 
Wow, that is so amazing you walked away. I have never been able to walk away at such a point because my AV would tell me that I already failed since I walked to the store. Good for you!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 562
Thank you for posting....ready people stories reinforces my voice to be sober. I'm at 39 days and for the past couple days I've been uncomfortable in my gut......like its missing or needs something.....like food but not food. It's a weird feeling. So I've been stuffing my face w chocolate chip cookies.....had them for dinner last night. It seemed to help. Also I'm realizing how important exercise is to my program to poop me out cause im a bundle of nervous energy on the inside.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 2,057
98 days you are nearly at 100 days EPIC achievement there , and well done for keeping on with sobriety, just remember it only takes ONE drink to lead right down that path of madness and misery! Proud of you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Cyprus
Posts: 53
Originally Posted by Debbie329
Thank you for posting....ready people stories reinforces my voice to be sober. I'm at 39 days and for the past couple days I've been uncomfortable in my gut......like its missing or needs something.....like food but not food. It's a weird feeling. So I've been stuffing my face w chocolate chip cookies.....had them for dinner last night. It seemed to help. Also I'm realizing how important exercise is to my program to poop me out cause im a bundle of nervous energy on the inside.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Great job Mario,
Basically the exact same thing happened to me about a week ago. I'm now on Day 29, and 91 days sober in the last 92. My screw up came during a rain delay while at a ballgame with a friend, not my typical pattern of drinking and something that was missing from my sober plan.
Anyway, last week I went as far as to buy my favorite chaser, as well as junk food to eat while drunk. I stopped in front of the liquor store for a good 5 minutes just debating my move and whether or not I'd buy a handle of vodka. Not sure why I walked away, but I did. Then once I got home and changed to nighttime attire, I then got ready to go out again and buy vodka. Stood in my kitchen for what must have been 15 minutes just pondering. Somehow was able to take a few deep breaths and just go to the living room and sit down. Crisis averted.
Obviously, the next morning was 100 times better since I was sober the night before. Still don't quite know how I managed not to drink that night, but it's good to know that I can be dead set on drinking and stop myself. In the past, once the idea was lodged in my head, I went into auto pilot and felt I had no choice but to go through with drinking.
Basically the exact same thing happened to me about a week ago. I'm now on Day 29, and 91 days sober in the last 92. My screw up came during a rain delay while at a ballgame with a friend, not my typical pattern of drinking and something that was missing from my sober plan.
Anyway, last week I went as far as to buy my favorite chaser, as well as junk food to eat while drunk. I stopped in front of the liquor store for a good 5 minutes just debating my move and whether or not I'd buy a handle of vodka. Not sure why I walked away, but I did. Then once I got home and changed to nighttime attire, I then got ready to go out again and buy vodka. Stood in my kitchen for what must have been 15 minutes just pondering. Somehow was able to take a few deep breaths and just go to the living room and sit down. Crisis averted.
Obviously, the next morning was 100 times better since I was sober the night before. Still don't quite know how I managed not to drink that night, but it's good to know that I can be dead set on drinking and stop myself. In the past, once the idea was lodged in my head, I went into auto pilot and felt I had no choice but to go through with drinking.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 562
Thanks for posting you guys......Im also realizing I do not have an exit/sober plan if I become really really tempted. I will work on that. I love this site...it's really help and thank you to those who keep it up and running.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Congrats on day 98, MarioBee! So glad I'm not having to say "Welcome back" today.
Part of my plan this time is that when a craving hits I post here on this forum immediately. Multiple times a minute if necessary. It's worked for me so far.
Part of my plan this time is that when a craving hits I post here on this forum immediately. Multiple times a minute if necessary. It's worked for me so far.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
