Because you cannot drink
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Because you cannot drink
This week at work, I scored an out-of-the-ballpark win. Felt good. Still does.
There was a time when this kind of achievement was rewarded, of course, with a drunk. Fuzzy head, hundreds of empty calories and feeling rotten the next day. Some reward.
One of the challenges of sobriety, especially in the early days, is taking alcohol off the table. A zero tolerance policy for our lives. The path to a more contented life is obstructed until we realize no matter what, we cannot drink.
We must work on new ways to cope in preparation for when that patient, conniving voice in our head tells us to pick up. Exercise. Take up a new hobby. Be outdoors as much as possible. Connect or reconnect with positive people. This is what's meant when people say "make a plan." You may need to create distance in some friendships -- or sever them entirely. You may need to mend fences; your actions will speak louder than words. Because you cannot drink.
Treatment may be an option. Or AA. Or church. Or volunteerism. Do something. If you feel the early warning signals, get on SR. Don't wait until you're drinking or coming back remorsefully the next day. It only prolongs the most challenging phase of sobriety. There will be plenty of people to offer a supportive word, to share helpful tips. They'll reinforce what you already know: You cannot drink.
Some things won't change. Your boss or co-workers may still be callous. The unkind hand life dealt you with family or partners won't go away. There are healthier ways of dealing with them -- both in the short and long term -- which you need to develop. Drinking cannot be one of them. Ever.
Life will keep happening; no one among us is immune from the bad stuff. The car repair or broken pipes may cost a lot -- even worse if you're broke. A trust may be betrayed. Illness or injury could strike. You might pick up the phone one day and learn someone you love died unexpectedly. Your world may turn upside down. For now, anyway.
That voice will tell you that you deserve a drink. Actually, you deserve better. That voice will tell you others would drink, too, if only they had your problems. It's trying to convince you that you're terminally unique. You aren't. (See this thread Read post #35.
In fact, read the entire thread.) The only thing drinking does reliably well is make things worse.
Good things will happen, too. Your team will win the Super Bowl or your candidate the election. You'll get the house. Degrees will be earned; wedding vows will be exchanged. You may need to leave the party early. Or not go at all. You'll need to find alternate ways to celebrate. Alcohol may be an option for others. You? No. Because you cannot drink.
I don't write this to scold. Or to stake claim to sobriety rock star status (there's no such thing). As a recovering alcoholic, I know there's a wolf outside my door, somewhere. My goal is to keep it far, far away. I write this in part because I may need you to remind me of all this someday.
Because I cannot drink.
There was a time when this kind of achievement was rewarded, of course, with a drunk. Fuzzy head, hundreds of empty calories and feeling rotten the next day. Some reward.
One of the challenges of sobriety, especially in the early days, is taking alcohol off the table. A zero tolerance policy for our lives. The path to a more contented life is obstructed until we realize no matter what, we cannot drink.
We must work on new ways to cope in preparation for when that patient, conniving voice in our head tells us to pick up. Exercise. Take up a new hobby. Be outdoors as much as possible. Connect or reconnect with positive people. This is what's meant when people say "make a plan." You may need to create distance in some friendships -- or sever them entirely. You may need to mend fences; your actions will speak louder than words. Because you cannot drink.
Treatment may be an option. Or AA. Or church. Or volunteerism. Do something. If you feel the early warning signals, get on SR. Don't wait until you're drinking or coming back remorsefully the next day. It only prolongs the most challenging phase of sobriety. There will be plenty of people to offer a supportive word, to share helpful tips. They'll reinforce what you already know: You cannot drink.
Some things won't change. Your boss or co-workers may still be callous. The unkind hand life dealt you with family or partners won't go away. There are healthier ways of dealing with them -- both in the short and long term -- which you need to develop. Drinking cannot be one of them. Ever.
Life will keep happening; no one among us is immune from the bad stuff. The car repair or broken pipes may cost a lot -- even worse if you're broke. A trust may be betrayed. Illness or injury could strike. You might pick up the phone one day and learn someone you love died unexpectedly. Your world may turn upside down. For now, anyway.
That voice will tell you that you deserve a drink. Actually, you deserve better. That voice will tell you others would drink, too, if only they had your problems. It's trying to convince you that you're terminally unique. You aren't. (See this thread Read post #35.
In fact, read the entire thread.) The only thing drinking does reliably well is make things worse.
Good things will happen, too. Your team will win the Super Bowl or your candidate the election. You'll get the house. Degrees will be earned; wedding vows will be exchanged. You may need to leave the party early. Or not go at all. You'll need to find alternate ways to celebrate. Alcohol may be an option for others. You? No. Because you cannot drink.
I don't write this to scold. Or to stake claim to sobriety rock star status (there's no such thing). As a recovering alcoholic, I know there's a wolf outside my door, somewhere. My goal is to keep it far, far away. I write this in part because I may need you to remind me of all this someday.
Because I cannot drink.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
Can not drink, because we choose to give ourselves the best possible advantage to achieve all the positive life enhancing goals mentioned and more. And choosing to drink can only make adverse situations that much worse.
I know you will remind me that I am not giving up anything, I am giving myself so much more. And I will always remind you, if need be.
Great post, support is a beautiful thing.
I know you will remind me that I am not giving up anything, I am giving myself so much more. And I will always remind you, if need be.
Great post, support is a beautiful thing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Thanks, guys.
You know, once we "build our sober muscles" one of the most fulfilling breakthroughs is to realize it's not a punishment to have alcohol taken off the table. It's a relief. In fact, it's a gift.
You know, once we "build our sober muscles" one of the most fulfilling breakthroughs is to realize it's not a punishment to have alcohol taken off the table. It's a relief. In fact, it's a gift.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Oops. I must not have embedded the hyperlink correctly (or at least it didn't work when I tried it). Let's give this a try:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...newcomers.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...newcomers.html
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