New to this
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: NYC
Posts: 31
New to this
Hello,
I am new here. The reason I joined is because I know I have a problem with drinking too much. I like to think that I have it under control right now but I am afraid that I am not more proactive I could eventually fall into a bad place. In the past year I have gave up liquor and have been successful. Since giving it up in August I only had it once in February and I controlled myself.
I was still drinking wine in which I tend to overindulge sometimes. I felt that drinking wine was a lesser evil but I have realized that it all is not worth my time. I want to remove all alcohol and be happy with life for what it is. I have seen alcohol ruin lives as I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My mother ended up leaving me at a young age because she could not stop drinking. She is still alive and I occasionally hear from her every few years which is also painful. Her choices affected her life, mine, and many others. The reason I want to go fully sober is because I would like to have children within a few years. I do not want to be the kind of mother I had. I want to be a good one.
I am having trouble forgiving myself for the way I acted when drinking in college. I embarrassed myself and acted foolishly. The school I went too was a place where this kind of behavior was very common but I still regret it and am disappointed in myself for becoming like my mother (although she is likely a lot worse of a drunk). Since then I am really happy with the person I am becoming but I still beat myself up over the past. I try to look at myself from the third person and tell myself that if this were a friend asking for forgiveness I would totally forgive them. It's still tough. If you have any tips on how to forgive yourself I would love to hear.
Thank you all for reading my post. I look forward to having support. I truly believe with support and hearing your success stories I can do this too.
Hugsandcupcakes
I am new here. The reason I joined is because I know I have a problem with drinking too much. I like to think that I have it under control right now but I am afraid that I am not more proactive I could eventually fall into a bad place. In the past year I have gave up liquor and have been successful. Since giving it up in August I only had it once in February and I controlled myself.
I was still drinking wine in which I tend to overindulge sometimes. I felt that drinking wine was a lesser evil but I have realized that it all is not worth my time. I want to remove all alcohol and be happy with life for what it is. I have seen alcohol ruin lives as I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My mother ended up leaving me at a young age because she could not stop drinking. She is still alive and I occasionally hear from her every few years which is also painful. Her choices affected her life, mine, and many others. The reason I want to go fully sober is because I would like to have children within a few years. I do not want to be the kind of mother I had. I want to be a good one.
I am having trouble forgiving myself for the way I acted when drinking in college. I embarrassed myself and acted foolishly. The school I went too was a place where this kind of behavior was very common but I still regret it and am disappointed in myself for becoming like my mother (although she is likely a lot worse of a drunk). Since then I am really happy with the person I am becoming but I still beat myself up over the past. I try to look at myself from the third person and tell myself that if this were a friend asking for forgiveness I would totally forgive them. It's still tough. If you have any tips on how to forgive yourself I would love to hear.
Thank you all for reading my post. I look forward to having support. I truly believe with support and hearing your success stories I can do this too.
Hugsandcupcakes
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Welcome hugsandcupcakes! It's good to have you here!
The thing about the past is there is nothing you can do to change it. All you can do is move yourself forward. Concentrate on the fact that you're in the process of making yourself better with getting sober and have learned from the past.
The thing about the past is there is nothing you can do to change it. All you can do is move yourself forward. Concentrate on the fact that you're in the process of making yourself better with getting sober and have learned from the past.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Welcome cupcakes
You have made a good decision in deciding to quit. No point in beating yourself for youthful indescretions - it won't change anything and I doubt if other people will define you by them.
You have made a good decision in deciding to quit. No point in beating yourself for youthful indescretions - it won't change anything and I doubt if other people will define you by them.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Welcome to SR, hugsandcupcakes! If you're ready to stop drinking, this forum can be a great source of support and wisdom in your recovery. I suggest reading a lot and posting often too. I've found the more active I am in my own recovery, the more stable it becomes.
You should join us in the Class of May 2015 thread on this forum. It's a great way to bond with other folks who are also early in their sobriety.
P.S. Anytime I hear or read someone make a comment about cutting out one type of alcohol while still drinking another, it reminds me of that hilarious running joke in Arrested Development where all the Bluth children were taught by their mom that once you open a bottle of vodka you have to drink it quickly or it'll go bad. Mainly it was just an excuse for them to drink a lot. Point is as it relates to your post, alcohol is alcohol whether it's in a beer or wine or whiskey or vodka bottle. If you have a problem with one, you're going to have a problem with them all eventually.
You should join us in the Class of May 2015 thread on this forum. It's a great way to bond with other folks who are also early in their sobriety.
P.S. Anytime I hear or read someone make a comment about cutting out one type of alcohol while still drinking another, it reminds me of that hilarious running joke in Arrested Development where all the Bluth children were taught by their mom that once you open a bottle of vodka you have to drink it quickly or it'll go bad. Mainly it was just an excuse for them to drink a lot. Point is as it relates to your post, alcohol is alcohol whether it's in a beer or wine or whiskey or vodka bottle. If you have a problem with one, you're going to have a problem with them all eventually.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 133
Hi there,
Best of luck with everything.
You can do this! Believe me you can do this, it won't always be easy but it is so so worth it.
I also grew up in an alcoholic home and I abhorred alcohol with every fiber of my being growing up, as I'm sure you did. The pain, disappointment, fear, trauma that alcohol causes in any child's life is heartbreaking. But what I found even more heartbreaking and painful was being the alcoholic. The torment that comes with that one brings you to your knees. I had accepted death and was fully prepared to drink myself to an early grave. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
Get out now. Stop now. Let me be a cautionary tale- I did the same things as you, giving up one type of drink for another, justifying wine as more 'socially acceptable', that in itself is very worrying behaviour. No non problem drinker has to do that I'm afraid.
I spiralled so fast. At 25 I was in a rehab center for the second time, I was totally broken, I didn't feel like things would ever be okay for me. At the end alcohol was taking my mind, I could feel it going, I was losing my mind. That was scary- and only about a year/ year and a half after, I too, started substituting drinks (no liquor, just wine etc..) I'm telling you it will grip you fast. Stop now before it gets to that stage. All this addiction will do is take, take and take from you. It will bring you to deaths door and have you left in such a state that death can sometimes seem appealing.
Please, stay strong and don't go down the road I did.
I am now one year sober in about two weeks. I got my life back, I was lucky.
I'm sending you all the positivity and love on this journey.
I'm so glad you are where you now and are ready and willing to stop.
Best of luck with everything.
You can do this! Believe me you can do this, it won't always be easy but it is so so worth it.
I also grew up in an alcoholic home and I abhorred alcohol with every fiber of my being growing up, as I'm sure you did. The pain, disappointment, fear, trauma that alcohol causes in any child's life is heartbreaking. But what I found even more heartbreaking and painful was being the alcoholic. The torment that comes with that one brings you to your knees. I had accepted death and was fully prepared to drink myself to an early grave. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
Get out now. Stop now. Let me be a cautionary tale- I did the same things as you, giving up one type of drink for another, justifying wine as more 'socially acceptable', that in itself is very worrying behaviour. No non problem drinker has to do that I'm afraid.
I spiralled so fast. At 25 I was in a rehab center for the second time, I was totally broken, I didn't feel like things would ever be okay for me. At the end alcohol was taking my mind, I could feel it going, I was losing my mind. That was scary- and only about a year/ year and a half after, I too, started substituting drinks (no liquor, just wine etc..) I'm telling you it will grip you fast. Stop now before it gets to that stage. All this addiction will do is take, take and take from you. It will bring you to deaths door and have you left in such a state that death can sometimes seem appealing.
Please, stay strong and don't go down the road I did.
I am now one year sober in about two weeks. I got my life back, I was lucky.
I'm sending you all the positivity and love on this journey.
I'm so glad you are where you now and are ready and willing to stop.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Location: NYC
Posts: 31
Thank you everyone!! It feels really good to hear from everyone to know that this isn't something that just happens to anyone! It can happen to everyone! I look forward to getting to know everyone! Thanks for sharing
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Love your name hugsandcupcakes! Makes me smile. 
I love this Quote that Maya Angelou passed on to Oprah.
“I did what I knew.. when I knew better, I did better”
As others have shared, we can't change our past, but we can sure make today one we don't regret. We have the power to do that.
I love this Quote that Maya Angelou passed on to Oprah.
“I did what I knew.. when I knew better, I did better”
As others have shared, we can't change our past, but we can sure make today one we don't regret. We have the power to do that.
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