Hi from Indianapolis !!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: INDIANAPOLIS INDIANA
Posts: 4
Hi from Indianapolis !!
I never , ever thought I would be here. 
My husband for 20 years was an advocate for non-drinking.
His father is an alcoholic and my husband spent his time telling me and everyone else, that he would never do that to his family.
A year ago, I found out he was sneaking and drinking.
He had all new friends, lost the old friends, and at this
point, we are separated. I am devastated and am here for some kind of support to make sense of MY life. We had 21 years of wonderful marriage, good provider, good husband, and then boom, new medicine for his heart/blood pressure and now this. I say that because he ran out of his blood pressure medicine and I got my husband back for about a week, I call that my window. I then called the doctor begged,pleaded to change the medication telling them how strange my husband has become, talking about killing people, all different friends, moody, drinking, they told me there was nothing I could do! I talked to husband explaining to him, "I" was the one imagining it. NOW the whole family, especailly his, is upset over this new person, and the drinking and driving, how can I go into that !!
Well that is all past, as of last Friday night after karoke night, he had had it as far as ME, I won't drink with him, I had one beer and didn't order another one, and now after a rousing fight that the whole neighborhood heard, he is gone. Supposedly sleeping in his van. I am here with our 22 year old son, but feel alone he is having problems with his lady love. He is trying and he says it is best that dad is out instead of "abusing" me.
Oh, I am going to start a recovery group, located in our church, well my church now I guess, he quit going.
Looking forward to reading notes...
thanks for reading...
sandy in indy
My husband for 20 years was an advocate for non-drinking.
His father is an alcoholic and my husband spent his time telling me and everyone else, that he would never do that to his family.
A year ago, I found out he was sneaking and drinking.
He had all new friends, lost the old friends, and at this
point, we are separated. I am devastated and am here for some kind of support to make sense of MY life. We had 21 years of wonderful marriage, good provider, good husband, and then boom, new medicine for his heart/blood pressure and now this. I say that because he ran out of his blood pressure medicine and I got my husband back for about a week, I call that my window. I then called the doctor begged,pleaded to change the medication telling them how strange my husband has become, talking about killing people, all different friends, moody, drinking, they told me there was nothing I could do! I talked to husband explaining to him, "I" was the one imagining it. NOW the whole family, especailly his, is upset over this new person, and the drinking and driving, how can I go into that !!Well that is all past, as of last Friday night after karoke night, he had had it as far as ME, I won't drink with him, I had one beer and didn't order another one, and now after a rousing fight that the whole neighborhood heard, he is gone. Supposedly sleeping in his van. I am here with our 22 year old son, but feel alone he is having problems with his lady love. He is trying and he says it is best that dad is out instead of "abusing" me.
Oh, I am going to start a recovery group, located in our church, well my church now I guess, he quit going.
Looking forward to reading notes...
thanks for reading...
sandy in indy
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Welcome Sandy...you found a special place here at Soberrecovery. Make yourself at home...
I am glad to hear that you are doing some things to take care of yourself because in all honesty that is all you can do. Take care of you. You cannot change another person.
A complete turn around at your husbands age sounds so odd. But take care of yourself...
Hugs,
JT
I am glad to hear that you are doing some things to take care of yourself because in all honesty that is all you can do. Take care of you. You cannot change another person.
A complete turn around at your husbands age sounds so odd. But take care of yourself...
Hugs,
JT
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Sandy
Welcome glad you made it here. It does sound very odd that you Husband changed so abrutly. I think it is possible he is having a reaction to that drug....Drs. don't know everything. But, in the mean time please do take care of yourself. It sounds good that youu are startring a recovery group in your church good luck with that!!
s
Welcome glad you made it here. It does sound very odd that you Husband changed so abrutly. I think it is possible he is having a reaction to that drug....Drs. don't know everything. But, in the mean time please do take care of yourself. It sounds good that youu are startring a recovery group in your church good luck with that!!
s
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Alberta
Posts: 38
Sandy, Welcome. I've been here for 3 days and can tell you that everyone here is wonderful.
My ex and I were only together for 2.5 years but he too had a drastic change in personality. I tried to make excuses for him - stress, not enough sleep, school - whatever I could. In the end, he left and I discovered that he was drinking a whole lot more than I imagined and was living on amphetamines to stay awake in his job.
I certainly couldn't know what your husbands situation is but what I can say is... this isn't about you. I echo others comments in saying...you need to take care of yourself right now. Keep reading and keep posting - you will get a LOT of care and support from others here.
My ex and I were only together for 2.5 years but he too had a drastic change in personality. I tried to make excuses for him - stress, not enough sleep, school - whatever I could. In the end, he left and I discovered that he was drinking a whole lot more than I imagined and was living on amphetamines to stay awake in his job.
I certainly couldn't know what your husbands situation is but what I can say is... this isn't about you. I echo others comments in saying...you need to take care of yourself right now. Keep reading and keep posting - you will get a LOT of care and support from others here.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: somewhere safe
Posts: 103
Welcome. My husband too started drinking after 20 years of sobriety so I do know that it can happen. Coincidentally, my husband had heart surgery just about a year prior to his drinking again. He wasn't put on any medication following the surgery but I wonder if the pain medication he received following surgery didn't begin the relapse.
I do know that at this point, 2 years later, that his sobriety is totally up to him. He may not have had the choice to take the pain medication but he does have the choice now of picking up the bottle.
I do know that at this point, 2 years later, that his sobriety is totally up to him. He may not have had the choice to take the pain medication but he does have the choice now of picking up the bottle.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: INDIANAPOLIS INDIANA
Posts: 4
Thanks to all......
We talked last night, he seemed sober, one day at a time.
I am being taken care of, bills payed, food,family, and of course, church. I had somebody call from church to just talk.
I have / am trying my hardest to give this to GOD. HARD, I am a take charge kind, but after failing miserbly Friday, I have to back out and give it to GOD, and since then everything has went so much smoother!!
I want to read now , I , again, thanks for those notes...mean a lot that somebody took the time to read and respond, and such GOOD advice, really sounds a little trite, but so true, IF I Don't take of me , who is?
I want to be in proper perspective and the only way to do that is rest and have goals, and focus on something besides HIM.
HE does that enough for both of us!!
THANK YOU again for all that greeted me, now to my reading..
We talked last night, he seemed sober, one day at a time.
I am being taken care of, bills payed, food,family, and of course, church. I had somebody call from church to just talk.
I have / am trying my hardest to give this to GOD. HARD, I am a take charge kind, but after failing miserbly Friday, I have to back out and give it to GOD, and since then everything has went so much smoother!!
I want to read now , I , again, thanks for those notes...mean a lot that somebody took the time to read and respond, and such GOOD advice, really sounds a little trite, but so true, IF I Don't take of me , who is?
I want to be in proper perspective and the only way to do that is rest and have goals, and focus on something besides HIM.
HE does that enough for both of us!!
THANK YOU again for all that greeted me, now to my reading..
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