I'm back; long story
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
I'm back; long story
Hey everyone! I wish I could say I've been sober on my hiatus from sr, but I haven't. And a lot has been happening.
So my husband relapsed with his DOC and I did as well with alcohol. When hubby does DOC, I go crazy. Like this person I have no idea is. And it scares me. I know I should've come here but I didn't. Good news is that hubby stopped. Bad news is I continued to drink. And he has too but he knows when to stop Drinking unlike me.
So the Friday before Mother's Day, we got a call from hubby's ex wife saying she needed my 16 yr old step son home (we were camping that night) because the police were at her house and wanting to talk to him about accusations about threats made at school. He went, talked to officers, and came back to camp. Mind you, this is a kid who has never been in trouble, almost has his Eagle Scout merit badge, plans to go to college, army, and just all around a very good and loving kid. So we had a good weekend. But drinking was still involved.
Stepson goes home Sunday, Mother's Day. Monday, I get a call from hubby crying and upset because stepson is being admitted to behavioral health/rehab facility for threatening to hurt himself. Total shocker. So his mom talked to his counselors and doctors. Tuesday we visited him and just told him he needs to be 100% honest with us about what's going on as we will find out anyway. Reassure him that he has 4 loving parents, blah blah.
So Thursday we had family counseling. Prior to this meeting, we found out more stuff from stepsons phone. It's not the end of the world bad stuff, but stuff he definitely shouldn't be doing. We found out from counselors that he had admitted to planning on hanging himself. Again, total and complete shocker. We had therapy, and went well. We told him we know everything and he needs to be honest with us. He said he only tried weed twice, no other drugs. We haven't gotten drug panel back yet so don't know if that's true. Doc said he does have chemical imbalance so he's on abilify.
He will not be going back to his high school. Gang rate is high and it's very close to ATL. Over the weekend we saw him again, he's doing good, and wants to come live with us, dad and me, stepmom. His mother I know will not have this but haven't told her yet, thought it's better to let son tell her. Stepson wrote down in evaluation he didn't have a religion and didn't know about God. We have slowly been trying to get more active in the church, and I think the time is now for not only my stepson, but for my son too (11). We plan on having him go to our high school district but really don't know what's going on with police or other school about terroristic threats since he's still in rehab. He might get out this week so I guess we will see. There's obviously so much to this story I couldn't post it all. But I feel like we're at a place where it's definitely time to change things. We had a great weekend but still drinking. Me and hubby agreed no drinking this week. But then I said, it has to be more than just this week. But he doesn't have the same problem I do and can have a few on the weekends, so I'm sure that's why he said that.
On top of all this, I've been dealing with judgmental coworkers. And I guess I just need to learn to cope. For example, at lunch I mentioned I only have 550 calories left for my day (logging food, trying to lose weight). So one said that's not good, how many can you have altogether? I said 1300 and I should lose 1 pound per week. Instead of being supportive, she said, you need to lose more than 1 a week. Hey I'm just going by what I was told was safe. Grrrr. Just little crap like that. Then she has the audacity to tell me that stepson probably wasn't suicidal because he told someone. That suicide is a cowards way out. Do people not realize there may actually be a mental disorder? And don't get me started on the comment that people don't love their step children like they do their own children.
Anyway, I'm sorry to rant. I know it's not a usual post for me. Anyway, hoping I don't drink today but the urge is still there. At least I didn't get as wasted this past weekend as I usually do. I feel fine today and I should take that as a blessing and just move on. But like I said the urge is still there. Thanks for listening.
So my husband relapsed with his DOC and I did as well with alcohol. When hubby does DOC, I go crazy. Like this person I have no idea is. And it scares me. I know I should've come here but I didn't. Good news is that hubby stopped. Bad news is I continued to drink. And he has too but he knows when to stop Drinking unlike me.
So the Friday before Mother's Day, we got a call from hubby's ex wife saying she needed my 16 yr old step son home (we were camping that night) because the police were at her house and wanting to talk to him about accusations about threats made at school. He went, talked to officers, and came back to camp. Mind you, this is a kid who has never been in trouble, almost has his Eagle Scout merit badge, plans to go to college, army, and just all around a very good and loving kid. So we had a good weekend. But drinking was still involved.
Stepson goes home Sunday, Mother's Day. Monday, I get a call from hubby crying and upset because stepson is being admitted to behavioral health/rehab facility for threatening to hurt himself. Total shocker. So his mom talked to his counselors and doctors. Tuesday we visited him and just told him he needs to be 100% honest with us about what's going on as we will find out anyway. Reassure him that he has 4 loving parents, blah blah.
So Thursday we had family counseling. Prior to this meeting, we found out more stuff from stepsons phone. It's not the end of the world bad stuff, but stuff he definitely shouldn't be doing. We found out from counselors that he had admitted to planning on hanging himself. Again, total and complete shocker. We had therapy, and went well. We told him we know everything and he needs to be honest with us. He said he only tried weed twice, no other drugs. We haven't gotten drug panel back yet so don't know if that's true. Doc said he does have chemical imbalance so he's on abilify.
He will not be going back to his high school. Gang rate is high and it's very close to ATL. Over the weekend we saw him again, he's doing good, and wants to come live with us, dad and me, stepmom. His mother I know will not have this but haven't told her yet, thought it's better to let son tell her. Stepson wrote down in evaluation he didn't have a religion and didn't know about God. We have slowly been trying to get more active in the church, and I think the time is now for not only my stepson, but for my son too (11). We plan on having him go to our high school district but really don't know what's going on with police or other school about terroristic threats since he's still in rehab. He might get out this week so I guess we will see. There's obviously so much to this story I couldn't post it all. But I feel like we're at a place where it's definitely time to change things. We had a great weekend but still drinking. Me and hubby agreed no drinking this week. But then I said, it has to be more than just this week. But he doesn't have the same problem I do and can have a few on the weekends, so I'm sure that's why he said that.
On top of all this, I've been dealing with judgmental coworkers. And I guess I just need to learn to cope. For example, at lunch I mentioned I only have 550 calories left for my day (logging food, trying to lose weight). So one said that's not good, how many can you have altogether? I said 1300 and I should lose 1 pound per week. Instead of being supportive, she said, you need to lose more than 1 a week. Hey I'm just going by what I was told was safe. Grrrr. Just little crap like that. Then she has the audacity to tell me that stepson probably wasn't suicidal because he told someone. That suicide is a cowards way out. Do people not realize there may actually be a mental disorder? And don't get me started on the comment that people don't love their step children like they do their own children.
Anyway, I'm sorry to rant. I know it's not a usual post for me. Anyway, hoping I don't drink today but the urge is still there. At least I didn't get as wasted this past weekend as I usually do. I feel fine today and I should take that as a blessing and just move on. But like I said the urge is still there. Thanks for listening.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Originally Posted by Jillian2563 
Anyway, I'm sorry to rant. I know it's not a usual post for me. Anyway, hoping I don't drink today but the urge is still there. At least I didn't get as wasted this past weekend as I usually do. I feel fine today and I should take that as a blessing and just move on. But like I said the urge is still there. Thanks for listening.
Why not commit to being sober today versus hoping you don't drink? You can do it!
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
Originally Posted by strategery
Why not commit to being sober today versus hoping you don't drink? You can do it!
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Originally Posted by Jillian2563
Anyway, hoping I don't drink today but the urge is still there.
However for me, hoping never worked, good intentions only got me so far, what got me over the line was actions, decisions about the activities I got involved in and the people I hung out with, we have to make Sobriety happen with action!!
Continuing to do the same things and expecting different results never worked for me!!
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Originally Posted by Jillian2563
I don't know. Because I've already got it on my mind that I want to drink a beer. Just wish it would go away.
For the longest time I thought that I would outgrow the craving for alcohol. It wasn't until I took sobriety into my own hands and made it happen versus putting it off until "tomorrow" that I was able to put the brakes on . I wasted a lot of years in "tomorrow" mode.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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I'm sorry for all that you're going through Jillain - use the support here and any other support you might have.
Drinking will solve nothing - and it sounds like your family needs you to be present right now?
D
Drinking will solve nothing - and it sounds like your family needs you to be present right now?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
Originally Posted by Dee74
Drinking will solve nothing - and it sounds like your family needs you to be present right now? D
On another note, the past two mornings on my way to work, I'm thinking its a new beautiful day, I've got this. And feel renewed. But then by the afternoon time, I thinking, time for beer!
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