foryoumyson

I been drinking again for a while but I'm just so tired of it drank last night bought more then I should of I didn't think I had enough my girlfriend and son fell asleep so I had to run to the store at 1030pm before they closed at 11 when I had more then enough in the fridge. I had a few before I left now I'm thinking what if I got stopped for dui and my life would of been ruined over more booze. Of course I stayed up untill 3 drinking ate something crappy and went to been . Of course I woke up feeling like crap and had to go to work and of course I was late because I was drunk and set my alarm wrong my gf woke me up with a disgusting look on her face . I just need to stop I'm tired of it I'm physically tired and mentally. My heads so foggy can barely thing people ask me a question or try to talk to me I can't even have a conversation because I feel like an idiot . I need a clear head and just need to get out of this funk. This needs to be it . All I can do is move foward I know that but I keep going backwards . My son's 2 years old and he's been a trigger his temper tantrums are so bad when he falls asleep I fell the need to drink. A couple weekends ago I went to a friend's I rarely get to go out between work and my son but anyways I drank 14 16oz beers in the matter of 4 hours no body else was drinking that heavy I drove home i have no idea how and went in the house and could barly stand I don't remember anything but my girlfriend was disgusted which she should be and I guess I woke up in the middle of the night and peed on the floor...you think that would be enough to make me stop but oh no it wasn't . I need to make a sober plan but I need some help .

Anna

I hope you can come up with a plan, too. Here is lots of information:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Lennox

Hi foryoumyson

I am very early into my sobriety (9 days) and am still learning myself.

I think your first plan will be not to drink tonight. The day I decided to stop I had done something horrific the night before. Like you the next day I felt ashamed, embarrassed and a failure. I wrote down how I felt that day and I do go back and read it occasionally to remind me of how bad my drinking can become.

I wish you all the luck and hope you find the plan that best suits you.

ccam1973

Foryoumyson, you can do this. You've got to want to be sober more than you want to drink. Beating this isn't easy, but is definitely doable and worth every effort you will put in.

Life is full of triggers. Right now it's your 2 year old son't temper tantrums, tomorrow it will be your 10 year old son pitching a fit because he couldn't have a new baseball bat and his attitude ruined the whole weekend.

There will always be something that will get your AV barking at you for a drink. You have the power not to listen to your AV.

The choice is yours. You con't have to ever feel like you are feeling this morning again. You can make the choice to be sober tonight, tomorrow, the next day, and so on.

Make a plan, stick close to SR, look at other support groups to help with this fight... do what ever it takes to stay sober today.

Lean on us when you feel like you are going to collapse... Maybe we could have helped you avoid drinking yesterday if you would have reached out.

Stay strong today, you can do this.

Irnldy001

Lots of sound advice around here
But if you are looking for help around your son being a trigger, you might want to seek help asap to understand why he melts down the way he does and how you might change your approach to lessening the outbursts.
My daughter used to have meltdowns until she banged her head on the floor. It turned out she had a major language delay and she was acting out in frustration because she could not get her meaning out to us. Once we started work with a speech language therapist, she was a new girl in less than two months. Sometimes you can't bury your head in the sand and say 'he'll grow out of it". If we had, I don't know where our daughter would be today. It could be any number of issues. But connecting with the local early intervention group could help you a great deal as you also start the process of helping yourself.

ScottFromWI

You had a stretch of a week sober not too long ago, but I remember you stating that your plan was eating healthy and exercise. Those are both very good ideas of course, but they are not sobriety plans.

Look back at your post above and see how much effort and time you consumed planning your drinking and drinking. I can guarantee you that if you would put that much effort into a structured sobriety plan you will be amazed at how far you can go.

Anna's link has a wealth of good information about these plans....pick one and give it an earnest try. I can also guarantee you that there is no "perfect" method that works for everyone, and all of them will require you do do things that you are not comfortable with. But the discomfort is only temporary...and the long term benefits far outweigh them.

Ruby2

There's a reason it's called "the terrible twos". Young toddlers are challenging. However, it isn't cause to drink. When my children are particularly challenging, I heave a sigh of relief when they are in bed and enjoy the silence.

Keep reading up on plans and try again. Keep trying. Reach out for support, both in parenting and with your drinking. Children are wearing. They will tire you out, wear you down and make you crazy. They are also the source of great joy. But it isn't easy to do and having support is so important.

doggonecarl

I agree. You've been struggling too long trying this on your own. Deciding to quit is but the first step; then you have to do the hard work of staying sober.

I didn't look back through your posts to see if you've tried AA or are somehow opposed to it. But SR alone doesn't seem to be cutting it for you. So do what you have to do to gain a sober life.

foryoumyson

Yea not to long ago I had a week sober but my AV got the better of me. But I need to stop can't live like this anymore. My headaches just going away from my hangover I don't want or need that anymore I keep putting myself through hell but for what to get drunk for a few hours. Tonight when I get home I'm going to make myself a sober plan do some research and reprogram myself. May 18 day 1 and my last day 1 I've had to many I lost count. I don't know what it is when I didn't drink for that week I felt great then I drank again and here I am feeling like sh*t again I'm sick of feeling like sh*t!!!! But only I can change that. Time to take control and make a stand alchohol won the battle but I'm going to win the war .

Dee74

Have you thought of things like AA (or SMART or AVRT) FYMS ?

D

foryoumyson

I'm going to look into it I know about AA but nothing about the other two. I'm just very limited with time I work 9 hours then I have to pick up my son and my girlfriend works second shift. I know I can do this I need to stick to it and not give in . I know if I don't stop now I'll never stop and it will just progress into full blown alcholism. My father's a bad alcoholic he just went to detox for a week. Right when he gets out he was already drinking beers he thought it was better then drinking his vodka. But now it already progressed back to vodka I don't want to end up like that . I love my father but I'm not sure if I can be around him anymore . He dosent treat me like a son more of a friend and talks so stupid when he's drinking . Same thing with my mother she drinks to much too I'm not sure if I can be around them anymore . They'd rather drink then spend time with their grandson or me. Having a drunk as a father sucks and I don't want my son to go threw what I did so I need to make this the last time before he realises what's going on . The other day he picked up a beer can and said daddy....so he's already catching on..

least

I hope you can find a sobriety plan that suits you and make a real effort at staying sober.

Fly N Buy

Many times I would say - today is the last time. This is the last day 1. Then I would drink again, again, again.........

I had to find a way to break that cycle or quitting was just a fantasy and always out of reach. I had to have 30-60 days to reform habits.

Willpower was simply not enough - I could understand why, but it was not. I needed a method/plan to get me started and allow my foggy brain to clear.

My plan involves group meetings. It was there I found the support I need to stop and stay stopped.

You too can find a way - It is commendable you recognize what this will do to your family. Change is possible, but acceptance - willingness and a real plan including support was what turned the tide for me!

Thanks for the post, very helpful for others......
keep coming back!