Hi everyone - newbie :-)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 89
Hi everyone - newbie :-)
I would have never of thought I would have been in recovery for alcohol abuse at the age of 27. How did I get here? So 10th May was my day 1 (still early days) – I have had many of day 1s – usually after a big binge and I have done something horrific. This time however I upset the ones closest to me, my family. The hurt in their voices as I was trembling on the phone apologising for something I can’t actually remember doing. They are passed believing I can do this. I am passed believe I can do this. I have tried various other methods. However I have decided to take a new approach and write everything down and joining this forum and also attending my first AA meeting a week on Thursday!
So my problem in a nutshell started when I was about 13 drinking in the local park with friends – after hanging around the corner shop asking anyone of age to get me a bottle of Lambrini for £2.49 - Oh dear, how classy! So since then it was a downward slope. Starting in the pubs about 18, getting completely hammered on a Friday night and spending the rest of the weekend recovering/apologising/crying. It then developed to what would start on a Friday night and then to get over the terrible “I’m dying” hangover I would carry on drinking through to Sunday night. Of course that was not enough, I then started drinking during the week, red wine mind you which somehow made me feel I was a sophisticated drunk. I tell you now there was nothing sophisticated at 1 in the morning crawling into bed with the usual red crust round my lips, dribbling and generally looking demonic...Horrific! I am cringing even thinking about it.
So I am not going to go into the terrible things I have done when in a binge black as it is very raw for me right now (let’s just say I am shocked that I have not been arrested or worse that I am actually alive) and I cannot deal with the guilt feeling along with everything else I am feeling just yet, I just want to focus on my recovery and where I go from here. I am excited for a sober life ahead of me and can’t wait to start remembering things I enjoy as opposed to drinking. I have managed my first weekend off alcohol and I cannot tell you how great I feel today!
So sorry if I bored you all with my rambling. Be nice to talk to people all going through the same process as me :-)
So my problem in a nutshell started when I was about 13 drinking in the local park with friends – after hanging around the corner shop asking anyone of age to get me a bottle of Lambrini for £2.49 - Oh dear, how classy! So since then it was a downward slope. Starting in the pubs about 18, getting completely hammered on a Friday night and spending the rest of the weekend recovering/apologising/crying. It then developed to what would start on a Friday night and then to get over the terrible “I’m dying” hangover I would carry on drinking through to Sunday night. Of course that was not enough, I then started drinking during the week, red wine mind you which somehow made me feel I was a sophisticated drunk. I tell you now there was nothing sophisticated at 1 in the morning crawling into bed with the usual red crust round my lips, dribbling and generally looking demonic...Horrific! I am cringing even thinking about it.
So I am not going to go into the terrible things I have done when in a binge black as it is very raw for me right now (let’s just say I am shocked that I have not been arrested or worse that I am actually alive) and I cannot deal with the guilt feeling along with everything else I am feeling just yet, I just want to focus on my recovery and where I go from here. I am excited for a sober life ahead of me and can’t wait to start remembering things I enjoy as opposed to drinking. I have managed my first weekend off alcohol and I cannot tell you how great I feel today!
So sorry if I bored you all with my rambling. Be nice to talk to people all going through the same process as me :-)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 89
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh 
Welcome to SR, Lennox, and congratulations on 9 sober days!
Congratulations, too, on choosing to live a sober life - it's not just a better way; it totally rocks.
Congratulations, too, on choosing to live a sober life - it's not just a better way; it totally rocks.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Lennox, welcome to SR and well done on going through the weekend without drinking. That's terrific.
I primarily use SR for support at the moment but AA is also in the mix for face to face contact. Keep going!
I primarily use SR for support at the moment but AA is also in the mix for face to face contact. Keep going!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 89
Originally Posted by Ruby2
Lennox, welcome to SR and well done on going through the weekend without drinking. That's terrific.
I primarily use SR for support at the moment but AA is also in the mix for face to face contact. Keep going!
I primarily use SR for support at the moment but AA is also in the mix for face to face contact. Keep going!
My family have already set me out to fail...hey ho...good job I'm doing this for me eh? ;-)
You've come to a great place for support. Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
Welcome here. You are definitely in the right place, and you're not alone in what you are going through. All of us here will be able to relate to your story. There is hope and help for you. Sobriety is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Best wishes to you. You can do this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 89
Originally Posted by Lance40
Welcome here. You are definitely in the right place, and you're not alone in what you are going through. All of us here will be able to relate to your story. There is hope and help for you. Sobriety is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Best wishes to you. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Welcome! I'm 28, so right there with you. At first I thought it was sad I was trying recovery being so young. Now I realize I'm one of the lucky ones getting started early!
I was so freaked out about my first AA meetings, but everyone was so lovely when I got there and I've been doing 2 a week for now. The face to face thing is scary for me (I'm not super social, especially sober!) but it seems to really help.
Keep reading and posting- there TONS of great information and awesome support on here!
I was so freaked out about my first AA meetings, but everyone was so lovely when I got there and I've been doing 2 a week for now. The face to face thing is scary for me (I'm not super social, especially sober!) but it seems to really help.
Keep reading and posting- there TONS of great information and awesome support on here!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 89
Originally Posted by site1Q84
Welcome! I'm 28, so right there with you. At first I thought it was sad I was trying recovery being so young. Now I realize I'm one of the lucky ones getting started early!
I was so freaked out about my first AA meetings, but everyone was so lovely when I got there and I've been doing 2 a week for now. The face to face thing is scary for me (I'm not super social, especially sober!) but it seems to really help.
Keep reading and posting- there TONS of great information and awesome support on here!
I was so freaked out about my first AA meetings, but everyone was so lovely when I got there and I've been doing 2 a week for now. The face to face thing is scary for me (I'm not super social, especially sober!) but it seems to really help.
Keep reading and posting- there TONS of great information and awesome support on here!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
You don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to. If it's a meeting where they go around and room and everyone has a chance to speak (round robin, they call them) you can just say 'pass' when it gets to you.
Some people will likely come by and introduce themselves. A lot of people have been going to the same meetings for a long time so they notice when there's a newcomer, but they won't make you share or anything, they'll just introduce themselves.
Try to remember that every single person at the meeting you go to was once in your shoes. Everyone had a first meeting at some point!
You can always just sit in the back and observe. Just an FYI, 'open' meetings are for anyone interested in AA, 'closed' meetings are only for people who are trying actively stop drinking
Some people will likely come by and introduce themselves. A lot of people have been going to the same meetings for a long time so they notice when there's a newcomer, but they won't make you share or anything, they'll just introduce themselves.
Try to remember that every single person at the meeting you go to was once in your shoes. Everyone had a first meeting at some point!
You can always just sit in the back and observe. Just an FYI, 'open' meetings are for anyone interested in AA, 'closed' meetings are only for people who are trying actively stop drinking
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 89
Originally Posted by site1Q84
You don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to. If it's a meeting where they go around and room and everyone has a chance to speak (round robin, they call them) you can just say 'pass' when it gets to you.
Some people will likely come by and introduce themselves. A lot of people have been going to the same meetings for a long time so they notice when there's a newcomer, but they won't make you share or anything, they'll just introduce themselves.
Try to remember that every single person at the meeting you go to was once in your shoes. Everyone had a first meeting at some point!
You can always just sit in the back and observe. Just an FYI, 'open' meetings are for anyone interested in AA, 'closed' meetings are only for people who are trying actively stop drinking
Some people will likely come by and introduce themselves. A lot of people have been going to the same meetings for a long time so they notice when there's a newcomer, but they won't make you share or anything, they'll just introduce themselves.
Try to remember that every single person at the meeting you go to was once in your shoes. Everyone had a first meeting at some point!
You can always just sit in the back and observe. Just an FYI, 'open' meetings are for anyone interested in AA, 'closed' meetings are only for people who are trying actively stop drinking
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