Calitano's tracker...
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Calitano's tracker...
Hope it's ok to start a new thread here…
Today I'm 150 days alcohol free. Still can't believe it really, delighted with myself
But also terrified as I now understand how much I have to lose.
However - stress levels are mounting at the moment as I have a LOT of stuff going on. I've started having those beginning of sobriety dreams again, where I dream that I nearly drink and wake in a panic…
My house remodel kicked off last week, so I'm camping out at my boyfriends for six weeks or so (and not 100% comfortable with this yet), plus I have a lot of business travel coming up, with some work dinners, hotels with mini bars, room service, airport lounges etc etc etc. (luckily nobody I'm working with now ever knew me as a drinker). I also have a couple of big presentations scheduled over next few weeks as well as some family stressors.
I have thought through some strategies and intend to put sobriety over everything, but something is bound to go wrong over the next few weeks as I'm over scheduled, so I want to check in here every day or two to help keep focused if the wheels start to come off the bus.
Basically, feels like time hang close here.
Isn't the internet great ?
Today I'm 150 days alcohol free. Still can't believe it really, delighted with myself
But also terrified as I now understand how much I have to lose.However - stress levels are mounting at the moment as I have a LOT of stuff going on. I've started having those beginning of sobriety dreams again, where I dream that I nearly drink and wake in a panic…
My house remodel kicked off last week, so I'm camping out at my boyfriends for six weeks or so (and not 100% comfortable with this yet), plus I have a lot of business travel coming up, with some work dinners, hotels with mini bars, room service, airport lounges etc etc etc. (luckily nobody I'm working with now ever knew me as a drinker). I also have a couple of big presentations scheduled over next few weeks as well as some family stressors.
I have thought through some strategies and intend to put sobriety over everything, but something is bound to go wrong over the next few weeks as I'm over scheduled, so I want to check in here every day or two to help keep focused if the wheels start to come off the bus.
Basically, feels like time hang close here.
Isn't the internet great ?
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Congrats on 150 days Calitano! That is awesome!
The awesome thing is you will be able to handle being overscheduled better being sober than if you drink. Also you will get more accomplished by being sober. You can do it!
The awesome thing is you will be able to handle being overscheduled better being sober than if you drink. Also you will get more accomplished by being sober. You can do it!
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 351
Thanks everyone…
So:
Unexpected stressor No 1: another car breakdown. Sigh. Back to the shop she goes.
Unexpected stressor No 2: post flight at the car rental counter a client/colleague arrives and 'bumps into me' asking to hitch a ride in with me in my rental. (My suspicious alcoholic mind wonders if he has a dui/banned license as it was obviously an ambush. Perhaps, I don't really care ) However he turns out to be a very chatty doesn't stop for breath whilst talking about himself type of type of passenger. I found 2 1/2 hours of this exhausting.
Unexpected stressor No 3: contractor found an unexpected leak in the basement.
So, I'm tired, tetchy, hungry and kinda grumpy.
On the bright side: at least car didn't break down on the way to the airport at zero dark thirty, my client karma must now be up there and good thing leak was found before any serious damage done.
Gearing up for nice quiet dinner. Slight twinge of 'wouldn't a glass of white calm me down nicely', but more a reactionary thought as opposed to there being any risk of my doing it. Mini-bar pre-emptied per request (because, well Flight anybody?
)… Few hours work tonight I'm not looking forward to but will be worth it as it should set up next of the week to be better.
Phew. Knew it was gonna be a hectic one
So:
Unexpected stressor No 1: another car breakdown. Sigh. Back to the shop she goes.
Unexpected stressor No 2: post flight at the car rental counter a client/colleague arrives and 'bumps into me' asking to hitch a ride in with me in my rental. (My suspicious alcoholic mind wonders if he has a dui/banned license as it was obviously an ambush. Perhaps, I don't really care ) However he turns out to be a very chatty doesn't stop for breath whilst talking about himself type of type of passenger. I found 2 1/2 hours of this exhausting.
Unexpected stressor No 3: contractor found an unexpected leak in the basement.
So, I'm tired, tetchy, hungry and kinda grumpy.
On the bright side: at least car didn't break down on the way to the airport at zero dark thirty, my client karma must now be up there and good thing leak was found before any serious damage done.
Gearing up for nice quiet dinner. Slight twinge of 'wouldn't a glass of white calm me down nicely', but more a reactionary thought as opposed to there being any risk of my doing it. Mini-bar pre-emptied per request (because, well Flight anybody?
)… Few hours work tonight I'm not looking forward to but will be worth it as it should set up next of the week to be better. Phew. Knew it was gonna be a hectic one
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Don't let your mind convince you that drinking is the solution to stress. It isn't. It has zero control over the events causing you to stress out. The only stress being resolved by drinking is the stress your addiction is going through wanting its fix--alcohol.
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
Don't let your mind convince you that drinking is the solution to stress. It isn't. It has zero control over the events causing you to stress out. The only stress being resolved by drinking is the stress your addiction is going through wanting its fix--alcohol.
Never ever occurred to me to look at stress-drinking link like that before though (didn't suit me to I suppose).
Thank you. 'twas perfect.
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So, this little tracker is really helping, who knew
Exhausted today, burned the midnight oil to catch up on some work but think it was worth it. Was like Oscar the Grouch all day though, feeling under pressure, but now I'm all caught up the rest of the week should run a little smoother.
My word of the day: equanimity. I need some
It's not cool to be buffeting around on emotions - dependent on externals to set the tone. So as busy and pressured as I am these next few weeks I do have lots of opportunities to practice. No hangovers, no alcohol to hide behind or 'treat' myself with, and lots of unavoidable noisy colleagues (I'm used to working alone in quiet and calm) plus some fun gigs and events too. Going to try and ride the ups and downs a little better.
Dodged a work "do" this evening, still feeling too far out of my comfort zone at this type of event. I'm never comfortable at them so would be far too easy to just accept a glass to toast with everyone, drinking to boost my confidence and just get through the superficial chit chat. It's what I did for years.
Exhausted today, burned the midnight oil to catch up on some work but think it was worth it. Was like Oscar the Grouch all day though, feeling under pressure, but now I'm all caught up the rest of the week should run a little smoother.
My word of the day: equanimity. I need some
It's not cool to be buffeting around on emotions - dependent on externals to set the tone. So as busy and pressured as I am these next few weeks I do have lots of opportunities to practice. No hangovers, no alcohol to hide behind or 'treat' myself with, and lots of unavoidable noisy colleagues (I'm used to working alone in quiet and calm) plus some fun gigs and events too. Going to try and ride the ups and downs a little better.
Dodged a work "do" this evening, still feeling too far out of my comfort zone at this type of event. I'm never comfortable at them so would be far too easy to just accept a glass to toast with everyone, drinking to boost my confidence and just get through the superficial chit chat. It's what I did for years.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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So checking in again…
All good - was at a great gig with some friends tonight, some drinking, me not. But it wasn't a problem, and in fact the music was so good I was delighted to be sober to appreciate it more.
Work dinner yesterday - again I was the only one not drinking. No major pressure though (but some minor pressing), and I had the car keys dangling in case I needed to use that old trick but I didn't. It was fine, boring and staid but doable.
So busy and stressed as I though I'd be, the reality is much better. One thing at a time I guess. Five or six more crazy weeks to go so I'll keep checking in.
All good - was at a great gig with some friends tonight, some drinking, me not. But it wasn't a problem, and in fact the music was so good I was delighted to be sober to appreciate it more.
Work dinner yesterday - again I was the only one not drinking. No major pressure though (but some minor pressing), and I had the car keys dangling in case I needed to use that old trick but I didn't. It was fine, boring and staid but doable.
So busy and stressed as I though I'd be, the reality is much better. One thing at a time I guess. Five or six more crazy weeks to go so I'll keep checking in.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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Still going!
Just had with a dinner out with some old friends.
Realllly awkward moment when a friend poured glasses of wine for everyone and plonked one in front of me AFTER I had declined, saying well have a glass at least. Didn't want to make a big deal so there it sat untouched throughout the meal. Eventually she wound up drinking it herself when the rest of the bottle ran out. Weird moment though. Guess she had anticipated a wilder Friday night; she headed off to the bar after we had finished our coffees.
Obviously really glad I didn't drink and in fact wasn't really that tempted to either, especially given the circumstances.
Weekend ahead will be a nice breather before some more work related travel next week. I will catch up on sleep and exercise and see what the contractor has been up to...
Just had with a dinner out with some old friends.
Realllly awkward moment when a friend poured glasses of wine for everyone and plonked one in front of me AFTER I had declined, saying well have a glass at least. Didn't want to make a big deal so there it sat untouched throughout the meal. Eventually she wound up drinking it herself when the rest of the bottle ran out. Weird moment though. Guess she had anticipated a wilder Friday night; she headed off to the bar after we had finished our coffees.
Obviously really glad I didn't drink and in fact wasn't really that tempted to either, especially given the circumstances.
Weekend ahead will be a nice breather before some more work related travel next week. I will catch up on sleep and exercise and see what the contractor has been up to...
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Originally Posted by CaseyW
I'm always glad when I see you've updated this thread. Keep on keeping on!
Hope things are going well for you too.All good. Nice Saturday, contractor meeting went great: as in no new expenses or leaks or catastrophes, which is near miraculous in remodel terms. There's still time of course… Managed to bargain down the flooring providers too, well proud of myself.
Still pondering on last night's dinner and the loudly insisted upon glass of wine. Exactly the kind of situation I didn't want to be in. Meh, probably over thinking it. And I've learned that short of someone holding me down and pouring it into me the choice and power is still mine to say no graciously.
Quiet night in. Movie night; my favorite.
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Gearing up for another busy week - work trip. Usually I just travel for fun, but for the next four weeks it's all work trips due to an odd set of circumstances. Not a fan of business travel any more, it's a soulless hassle that I avoid if at all possible. This time my focus will really be on staying calm, relaxed and sober.
Great day today, nice long 3 hour lunch with friends. Italian, mmmmh. One or two just had a glass of wine. I didn't, and while it was noticed and remarked on it was in a positive way as opposed to the other night. Yup, I AM looking healthy these days, thanks!
I'm over 5 months sober now and starting to notice real changes in the way I approach and deal with life. I'm just so much happier, and able to notice the good more.
Great day today, nice long 3 hour lunch with friends. Italian, mmmmh. One or two just had a glass of wine. I didn't, and while it was noticed and remarked on it was in a positive way as opposed to the other night. Yup, I AM looking healthy these days, thanks!
I'm over 5 months sober now and starting to notice real changes in the way I approach and deal with life. I'm just so much happier, and able to notice the good more.
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OK it's going well. Busy day travelling - lots of delays and jumpy TSA people and tetchy travellers...
This trip as I've decided to focus on putting sobriety before everything else (work outcomes and obligations, other people and their issues etc) I seemed to handle it better. No stress.
Hotel room for next two nights has a big fat mini bar. I'm good though: time to deal with it. I spent the last 5 months in a home purged of alcohol, so I was a bit jumpy peering in and for a second thought of calling reception to clear it away. But I got this - I don't drink. The $10 candy bar didn't survive though
Anyway, if I feel nervous or vulnerable about it tomorrow I will have it emptied then.
Good
This trip as I've decided to focus on putting sobriety before everything else (work outcomes and obligations, other people and their issues etc) I seemed to handle it better. No stress.
Hotel room for next two nights has a big fat mini bar. I'm good though: time to deal with it. I spent the last 5 months in a home purged of alcohol, so I was a bit jumpy peering in and for a second thought of calling reception to clear it away. But I got this - I don't drink. The $10 candy bar didn't survive though
Anyway, if I feel nervous or vulnerable about it tomorrow I will have it emptied then.
Good
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Originally Posted by Delilah1
Congrats on 150 days!!! Try to dream about how incredible your home will look when it is complete!!
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