AugustWest11

Mood swings & generally a wreck in tears. I'm at a loss @ what to do. My mom's @ the hospital w\ dad I'm sitting here crying like a baby in pain & panicking. Hospitals here treat me like dirt now. I've finally getting it together again & I start to fall apart.

I have enough cash to buy tons of heron here in Baltihell, or booze .. But I don't want that I want to be pain free anxiety free panic free. Seems street drugs since they are easy to get. I'm actually at a loss & I blame sobriety !!!!!!

Dennis

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Lscotty1

I am 14 days sober and had a panic attack so bad I called 911 today. My blood pressure was through the roof. I've been having crazy anxiety since I got sober. I'm learning how to just sit and do absolutely nothing but wait for it to get better. It may not be pretty right now but I know that drinking isn't going to help. If I stay sober, I have the chance to get better. Maybe not today, but I look forward to it. Hang in there

AugustWest11

Thank you; no offense but actually for me its been allot longer than 2 weeks(congrats BTW) & my anxiety and panic attacks are getting more frequent & severe ..

Dennis

Lscotty1

None taken I had not quite 4 years of sobriety and always had panic attacks. And it up in the psych ward twice in my third year. I do get it. I'm actually totally freaking out right now. How did it go at the hospital?

Mountainmanbob

When it came to drinking or getting high money never was much of a problem for me. As I look back today I'm not sure that was a good thing? When I stopped doing those things my money situation got even better.

We can deceive ourselves into so many unhealthy things. Please, don't listen to the lies.

Mountainmanbob

ScottFromWI

Do you see a psychiatrist or a counselor AW? Panic and anxiety can be affected by drinking and/or sobriety, and usually you cannot improve until you get sober. But for most of us, the underlying psychological issues we have are distinct and separate from out drinking. And they must be treated separately - getting sober will not fix them in itself. And sometimes they get worse before they get better.

If you have enough cash to buy a lot of street drugs, why not invest it in a few meeting with a counselor? Many have sliding fees and you would certainly benefit from it a lot more than a bag of heroin.

AugustWest11

Not well, big lecture about not having a primary care doctor an how they can't keep dispensing scripts yadda yadda ...

AugustWest11

I don't have $150 a visit for a shrink ... Baltihell heron is cheap & strong lol it's a dark joke Scott; I decided long ago H was not something I'd ever do. I have an appointment tomorrow for my back issues & have been pointed in the right direction for my mental issues. I guess I'm just venting. My mental issues are the reason I drank. My anxiety "disappeared" w\ alcohol.

Dennis

PurpleKnight

Hey Dennis,

Alcohol used to work for me and then it didn't, after a while things simply compounded with my drinking.

I'm not sure of the answer, but alcohol for me stopped becoming the answer!!

AugustWest11

Ohhhhh same; or I wouldn't be posting, I'd be on the golf course getting lit lol

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Dee74

why haven't you got a primary care Dr, Dennis?

D

AugustWest11

"Things" kept coming up for one. But fear maybe. I didn't realize I was gonna be here this long. The fact is not being able to move, stand, sit, or even lay w\ out pain, anxiety taking over has made it difficult for me to face up to the fact I'm doomed to be here.

No job. No money. No clue how to be "alone" or take care of myself is hard. I've been drunk &or high for the better part of 30 odd years. My appointment tomorrow is a huge step for me I'm already dreading.

Getting the courage up for my anxiety issues was a huge step. Now to figure out how to get there is gonna be an issue haha

Dennis

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Dee74

I think you need to accept you're staying in Baltimore for the forseeable future.

If you had a Primary Care Dr it might help you with some of the other obstacles?

D

AugustWest11

Ohhhh I am sure it will; but primary care doctors aren't free. I'm working on medical assistance this week as well. Just has to be done on PC & I'm going to my cousins to use hers

Dennis

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Dee74

I know they;re not free but it's a better spending of available funds than on heroin and booze.

D

OCDDan

even one visit to a good psychologist can be very helpful, I never would have believed it, but it can happen, or not if you get someone that just wants to fill there appointment book, if your not blown away after the first visit, try another one would be my suggestion, (that's assuming you would see a psychologist in the first place)

AugustWest11

That's in the works as well. Would have been sooner but there was something on the news about riots haha

But Yea I got a referral for a shrink I need to call tomorrow as well .. Its actually all coming to a head now,

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DrunkTx

This is probably an oversimplification Dennis, so apologies in advance. It seems to me you need to stop living dry and start living period. I obviously have no idea what ails you physically and mentally, but there has to be more you can do in your day than focus on sobriety and/or your care. Read a book, walk in the park - Google some recipes that you might try cooking. Life is to rarely lived, which causes us to harp on what we know - alcohol and heroin. It took me a bit, but I'm at a point that I don't ever think about liquor. Even when I post, when I'm weak - it's more about recognizing my crazy triggers and needing friends to share with. But it is never about drinking, or craves. That's because my life is so full sober, I don't have time for those thoughts.

AugustWest11

It is much deeper than that; but TY. I read allot, try to write again. I think of drinking to stop the pain; my problem lies in the fact I am in constant physical pain & never took the time to focus on me since I've been here. It's been a very hectic year & a half.

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wpainterw

Rely on doctors who are trained to give out prescriptions and to monitor how much you are consuming, monitor very closely. They can help with panic attacks. Avoid street drugs like the plague. Alcoholism is nothing more then self medicating. The road to ruin eventually if not quicker than that. You say "Yadda, yadda!" about getting medical help. Who's saying that? Your AV I'll bet. If you haven't got a primary in Baltimore then you can find one by lifting the phone, maybe calling AA and getting references. You need not go to AA right now but you can. Get medical help about panic attacks, etc. or keep on having them. It's your choice. The ball's in your court.

W.