I got a job!!
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
I got a job!!
I started putting my resume out there a few weeks ago, just testing the waters but not expecting much in return. I got quite a few calls, had one interview which has now turned into a new job for me! I haven't worked for 16 years! I can't believe that companies were even willing to look at my resume, but they did!
The job is low paying and below my skill level. My new boss acknowledged that but has committed to a plan to cross train me on a higher paying position and also mentioned that there are always other openings in-house that I might find appealing down the road which will open up better income potential.
Anyway, I will get health insurance after 60 days so that item now can come off my budget! YAY. They also offer 401K after one year.
I am also dating a terrific man. Taking things slow and just enjoying the 'gathering information' about each other phase. He's been a gentleman, we have a lot in common but not too much so that we don't bore each other. No red flags, thank god. I am finding that my codependency hasn't been rearing it's ugly head, either, and I've been putting my focus on me and my job search and on how to handle all this change with my son, etc. I am spending lots of time with friends, going to meetings, and knowing that I will never put a man (or anybody for that matter) ahead of my spiritual and mental health ever again.
I feel really good. STBXAH is constantly stirring things up but I don't get sucked into his drama anymore. He is entitled to his opinions and rantings and ravings and I can hang up the phone saying, "I'm sorry you feel that way," and then I can go about my own life in peace.
Divorce should be final by the second week in June according to our lawyer. She said it depends on the judge but we are definitely in the home stretch.
So, lots of updates. Some scary changes coming but I know that I just need to take things one day at a time.
The job is low paying and below my skill level. My new boss acknowledged that but has committed to a plan to cross train me on a higher paying position and also mentioned that there are always other openings in-house that I might find appealing down the road which will open up better income potential.
Anyway, I will get health insurance after 60 days so that item now can come off my budget! YAY. They also offer 401K after one year.
I am also dating a terrific man. Taking things slow and just enjoying the 'gathering information' about each other phase. He's been a gentleman, we have a lot in common but not too much so that we don't bore each other. No red flags, thank god. I am finding that my codependency hasn't been rearing it's ugly head, either, and I've been putting my focus on me and my job search and on how to handle all this change with my son, etc. I am spending lots of time with friends, going to meetings, and knowing that I will never put a man (or anybody for that matter) ahead of my spiritual and mental health ever again.
I feel really good. STBXAH is constantly stirring things up but I don't get sucked into his drama anymore. He is entitled to his opinions and rantings and ravings and I can hang up the phone saying, "I'm sorry you feel that way," and then I can go about my own life in peace.
Divorce should be final by the second week in June according to our lawyer. She said it depends on the judge but we are definitely in the home stretch.
So, lots of updates. Some scary changes coming but I know that I just need to take things one day at a time.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
WooHoo! You ROCK, Liz! Apart from the standard "take it slow with the new guy" I couldn't be happier for you. You are a shining example of "slow and steady wins the race." 
The job with benefits is HUGE. With 16 years out of the work force, the "under employment" thing doesn't concern me at all. You are bright, you are a hard worker, and you persevere when things get tough. You will be working and making money commensurate with your value soon enough, I predict.
The job with benefits is HUGE. With 16 years out of the work force, the "under employment" thing doesn't concern me at all. You are bright, you are a hard worker, and you persevere when things get tough. You will be working and making money commensurate with your value soon enough, I predict. 
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
WooHoo! You ROCK, Liz! Apart from the standard "take it slow with the new guy" I couldn't be happier for you. You are a shining example of "slow and steady wins the race." The job with benefits is HUGE. With 16 years out of the work force, the "under employment" thing doesn't concern me at all. You are bright, you are a hard worker, and you persevere when things get tough. You will be working and making money commensurate with your value soon enough, I predict.
The job with benefits is HUGE. With 16 years out of the work force, the "under employment" thing doesn't concern me at all. You are bright, you are a hard worker, and you persevere when things get tough. You will be working and making money commensurate with your value soon enough, I predict. 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by Duckygirl1
Well done, that is too awesome! A job with such benefits is a real blessing. Can't wait to get to the point of dating!That is part of my recovery: learning how to let people be who they are, letting go of expectations, enjoying living in the day and not focusing on the future and what may or may not happen, etc.
New guy and I were discussing a story about one of my friends and I was telling him how she was upset and I felt that she was justified in her feelings. His response was: "that wouldn't bother me at all, I don't know why she is taking this so personal and getting worked up." My first thought was that he was incapable of emotion, LOL, but I know that's not true. It was just his perception of the story and really, he didn't know the whole story nor does he know my friend, etc. I had to let it go and not engage and just accept that he will handle things differently; not just because he's a guy, but because his life experiences and perspective on life events will be different than mine. Serious work on acceptance and then also making sure I know what is acceptable behavior or unacceptable behavior to ME. And, so far, new guy has no unacceptable behavior; I'm just trying to get used to spending time with someone who's so laid back and calm because it's so very different from the constant twisted engaging I had with sick boyfriends and the X in the past.
Anyway, that's my book on newly dating and trying to navigate the waters in a healthy way instead of a codependent sick way, LOL!
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