Samdo

Hi i have been drinking almost daily for years. Usually 5-10 units then heavier on weekend. Function ok but now having arguments with my wife andthe kids have become aware of us arguing. I dont want to screw them up. I seem to be able to stop for a few days at home but dread socialising when others are drinking and will have a few which then slides back to the usual pattern. Id love to just learn to have a few socially as i do enjoy that camerdarie. The problem is i then carry on and drink more when we get home. I plan to try and stop for a month to gain some control and then hopefully have a few but only when genuinely socialising as others do. Any advice?

IOAA2

Hi.

I had to accept the fact I’m an alcoholic and cannot have the first drink because that one makes me want more and more just about every time I have a drink.
That the reason I know I cannot drink in safety because it can be the start of the loss of EVERYTHING.
It’s work and the path to recovery is very rewarding if we WANT it.

BE WELL

waywardson8260

Hi Samdo, I had the same problem in that I could not have a few drinks socially and quit. Once I had one drink, I had to have more- many more. For me complete sobriety is the only answer and I now regard alcohol as poison because I believe that it was slowly killing me. The best thing I can tell you that going back to drinking just a few never works and I learned that the hard way.

I wish you the best.

buk1000

Welcome Samdo.

" I seem to be able to stop for a few days at home but dread socialising when others are drinking and will have a few which then slides back to the usual pattern. Id love to just learn to have a few socially as i do enjoy that camerdarie. The problem is i then carry on and drink more when we get home. I plan to try and stop for a month to gain some control and then hopefully have a few but only when genuinely socialising as others do. Any advice?"

I guess my advice would be to read this again and ask yourself if you haven't already tried this? It sounds like you have. What will be different about taking 2 days off and taking 30 days off? What is it about those 28 days that would make you learn control?

But if you are going to commit to 30 days, make a plan and stick with it. It's not an easy thing to do.

Good luck.

amp123

Hey! Same here. Realized I couldn't step back into purely social drinking although drinking for me was as much solitary as social anyway.

doggonecarl

Welcome to Sober Recovery. Read around the forum, please. I think you will see your story in many posts, and the struggles those folks have had trying to do what you intend.

If you have to control it, it's already out of control.

Samdo

Thanks both of you. You seem to be saying the same thing that completely stopping is the only way. Youre probably right. Theres certainly no point in the drinking i do when im the only one drinking. Many seem to be able to drink in moderation but i guess the fact that im doubtful of being able to do the month off first suggests im. Ot one of them. Im only 3 days in and already can hear the ecuses for "one or two social drinks" this weekend

least

I tried drinking "socially" and failed miserably. It's better for me to just not drink at all.

mecanix

Hey samdo ,
I'd want to try sobriety for a bit longer than a month, maybe at least a year to get it fully out my system and see the effects of it without it clouding my judgement .
If your going to do it, fully commit and go the whole hog as otherwise your just doing the painful getting sober bit without the benefits that come with living a sober life .

keep on , m

Anna

As others have said, stopping drinking is the way to go.

It's also very possible to get involved in social activities that don't involve drinking.

FreeOwl

early on, socializing around drinkers was really hard. It felt like I was 'missing out', it was awkward and uncomfortable....

Over time, that's gotten much easier.

And also over time, I've come to a point that I really don't enjoy hanging around with people drinking all that much. I will do it in mixed-social situations; where some are drinking and others aren't. I will occasionally atttend a largely-drinking event - like a music venue at a bar with a band I want to see where friends will be - but I will limit my time there.

The things I used to think were so much "fun" really don't stand out as fun anymore. I've found deeper levels of fun and more meaningful ways to spend my time and what I used to think of as "social" now often seems like largely a waste of otherwise valuable time.

MyTime86

Hello, yea.. We all tried and failed with moderation.
Getting sober can be scary and it will take a lot of work but you can be truly happy sober.
And remember why your doing it for your kids, their what really matters to you not alcohol.

Good luck

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Samdo!!

Cauliflower

Welcome! I found out that I could not just drink one or two socially, I just wanted to keep going and going like a drunk energizer bunny. I am really really fine with not taking that first drink, because we all know where that leads...and it's not fun.

gettingsmarter

First AA meeting I ever attended I asked how do I know if I'm an alcoholic. They said its only something I can decide but to try and not drink for a month. I thought sure that's no problem. I ended up getting drunk that night and every night after that for years.
Yes I am an alcoholic. Booze is not a choice for this guy.

Carlotta

to SR
There was never anything social about my drinking.
My best advice for you is to bookmark this thread.
If you can go back to social drinking after a month of abstinence then you are all set to go.
If you can't, then you are an alcoholic like us and you will know where to find us. There is a lot of support and recovery tools on SR

Dee74

Hi Samdo

Your head will play a lot of what ifs with you, especially if your life has revolved around drinking.

some of us have to make major changes - but noone would stay sober if they felt they lost out on the deal

My life is completely different to what it used to be but I love it.

The simple fact is you adjust to doing things sober and you do just fine

D

sva777

Good luck on your 30 day challenge, I was a similar type of drinker that your describing. I can have a few but then I just want more.

I have over four months completely sober which has been great but I know deep down if I drink again I will be right into the same old habits.