VirginiaWoof

I am struggling to get back on track.

I managed 6 weeks sober then had just the one glass. That soon became the one bottle. The longest I've gone sober since has been two days.

It is currently 7 pm in the UK and 24 hours since my last drink. My mouth is watering at the thought of a glass of wine and a little voice is telling me I'll be OK to go and buy a single serving bottle of wine. But I know that that voice is deceiving me. I would get to the shop and it would point out the special offer of 2 little bottles on a special offer. But hey, why not get a large bottle and have half today, half tomorrow (like that's going to happen!!!)

I've tried to get a plan in place but I am struggling to get myself organised enough to do it - I just get all wooly headed when I try to think straight about that (though I can think straight on other things).

So to get through this initial urge I'm writing this. I'm doing a couple of sentences, going away and pottering before coming back and doing another couple of sentences - hoping that I am typing my way through the initial urge.

I've written a list of pros and cons for drinking - and the only entry on the pros side is that I like the taste. It really has nothing else going for it!

Thank you for humouring me - the voice has gone off somewhere to sulk as I hammered it down!!

LiberatedStorm

I hate that voice! It was in my ear this morning trying to talk me into drinking. Stay strong and tell it to shut up! It really is crazy how an alcoholic can never ever let their guard down for even one second.

Iconoclastic

I’m very verbal. Even my writing style tends to be too descriptive at times. Writing is an art, so I know less usually is more. The same with effective verbal and body language communication, usually less is more. However, I have never rambled, due to my words expressing my feelings that have no rights or wrongs, especially when I’m confused and hurting.

It never occurred to me that anyone should apologize for expressing their feelings, until I attended recovery group meetings. To this day I won’t apologize for my feelings, in part because I’m much less co-dependant that I use to be and I don’t need anyone’s approval for what I feel.

I recovered from my addictions and during my recovery I never heard a voice telling me to drink, because I know there‘s no duality. I submit, that most before attempting to understand recovery never thought they had a voice duality, until they heard it in group recovery meetings. In the past 20 to 30 years this idea appears to be a norm for group recovery, including rehabs. It’s toxic due to it being another form of dependency that one can blame, e.g. “my addict is out to get me, its doing push-ups getting in shape” Triggers are in the same genre. Coping skills is the issue , not these made–up dualities

Soberwolf

Hi Virginia what is your current plan do you have one

Ruby2

Glad you posted here and I hope that the little voice stops. It's so hard in the beginning and I understand the pottering about, doing this, that and the other to distract myself.

I did a lot of that. Just keep wandering around.

Anna

Posting here is a good idea!

I hope you can sit down soon and come up with a plan that works for you.

doggonecarl

Then keep it simple. Get a sheet of paper. Write down the following:

I not going to drink and I'm not going to change my mind.

When you head clears, you can work on a more formal plan that supports your decision to quit.

FreeOwl

well done getting on here, getting it out and stopping the train from rolling away down those terrible tracks.

it's a lie.... hang in there through this and get out the other side. It won't be long and the sense of longing will ease and you'll be glad you resisted it.

What might you embrace - what might you focus on and throw yourself into right now that you'd enjoy and that would keep you from booze?

Dee74

Hi VW

This is a great little tool for making plans. I really recommend you have a read through

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf

D