Hamartia

This is my question and I guess it pretty much says everything. I lean on alcohol to get me through a day -- I'm not an in-the-ditch drunk; I have an executive job, a great work ethic, but when I leave the office, I want a drink. Is there really a way out of this?

buk1000

Of course there's a way out.

Can you elaborate a little more on your situation? Have you attempted to quit in the past? Did you have a plan or support group?

Dee74

This going to sound like a wiseguy answer - but to stay sober you stop drinking.

You stop leaning on alcohol as a crutch, and learn to deal with life sober.

It's not easy - which is why there's a lot of support around to help you in the difficult phase of putting the bottle down and getting through the days weeks months and years to come sober.

There are some great ideas on a recovery plan here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

if after work is your problem time why not change up your routine a little - go home a different way, do things is a different order...do some exercise or start a hobby - anything instead of sitting there wishing you had a drink...

Stay connected to SR...think about the other support groups you could use.

You can do this Harmatia
D

Hamartia

I have no support group and no plan. I went to AAA meetings several times, but I just was not able to take away anything of significance. -- anything that I could hold on to or respect. Everyone seemed to feel sorry for themselves, and I just had a hard time with that.

I started drinking to handle a family situation that I just hand to do -- It was hard, very hard, and alcohol became my means of coping with everything.

No excuses -- I just want to stop drinking. I can't imagine going through a day without alcohol.

Hamartia

You're right, and I know this. I am a smart woman, but this has the best of me. Am I being weak -- soft on myself? Is that it? I need someone to tell me the truth. Am I just lying to myself about the alcohol? I make it nice, elegant, and it seems almost sophisticated, but -- it's killing me. I've prayed so much that I can't pray anymore. I feel like I am sliding down an abyss and there is no one -- no power that can help me. I guess I have no confidence that I could possibly do this myself.

lanier

You might want to check out SMART Recovery - it's an AA/12 step alternative.

buk1000

I guess a start would be to try to get through one day without drinking and stay close to SR. Post in this thread what you are experiencing before you drink and listen to others experience.

I stopped drinking when I couldn't imagine going through another day WITH alcohol.

As far as AA, there are other options out there. I was lucky when I quit that a person I didn't know began giving me a ride to work since I had no car or license. He had been sober for a year. It was just a 5 minute ride but it was everyday and we talked about staying sober. AA wasn't an option for me at the time. But just having a couple people I could talk to about it was a huge benefit.

sugarbear1

maybe it was your perspective you latched onto at those AA meetings....maybe go back and see if you can relate to others.....it couldn't hurt to talk with people in person who are going through the same struggles

rational recovery, avrt, smart, women for sobriety, life ring, sos all have their own websites!

buk1000

I don't think you're lying to yourself. You said it yourself right there.

biminiblue

Alcohol takes all our confidence from us. Maybe that's why you felt that the meetings had a lot of victims. It will do it to you, too. It did it to me. Heck, it's already got you saying you can't stop.

Really, it's just about making a decision not to drink, no matter what happens. Not to romanticize it, not to give in to the devil on your shoulder.

Just don't drink - your hand, your mouth. It isn't easy, but it's pretty simple

Hamartia

buk1000,
I have used alcohol to keep me going for the past 16 years. My husband died at a very young age of a rare type of cancer. I raised my daughter alone, and after she was married for two years and had a beautiful baby girl, her husband, my son-in-law, was in a tragic automobile accident. He lost his legs, his vision, and the use of his hands. I have helped my daughter with all of this, but I have used alcohol when I felt like I couldn't do one more thing. Things are better now, but I still turn to alcohol at the end of the day. I have re-married, and have finally acknowledged my mistake. But, we have been married for many years now, and I can't see my way out of all of this -- my life in a paragraph. But what do you do hour by hour to stay away from the alcohol?

Hamartia

You must have all made a personal decision to put the glass down -- quit drinking -- and then you actually did it. I don't know that I have that much strength.

buk1000

Those are very difficult circumstances Hamartia, it sounds like you are a strong and caring person.

I would ask you to think about applying those same attributes to yourself as you have done with your family.

As far as hour by hour, can you plan for a day tomorrow with no drinking? Plan your day in advance. Have you attempted to quit cold turkey before? I ask only to get an idea of whether or not you would need to seek medical advice for detox.

Hamartia

Dee 74 -- Thank you for being honest. I am really kind of amazed that there are people willing to help me out of this. I sound like I'm weak and pathetic. I apologize. I just don't know how to take the first step. How to you do that?

Coldfusion

I didn't do it all on my own. I checked in to detox for a week.

biminiblue

If you don't think you can - who can do it for you?

That's why there are rehabs, Intensive Outpatient Programs, therapists, AA, etcetera. It isn't easy to quit by yourself. This site can give you a lot of direction, keep posting here instead of drinking. Look around and read the different sections, there is a lot of wisdom on this board.

((Hug)) You absolutely can do it.

buk1000

I made the decision, albeit it halfheartedly. Through 2 years I was on and off and gained some experience about how hard it really was and what worked and what didn't. I also got my 2nd and 3rd DUI. I've never heard an alcoholic say he/she simply stopped drinking one day and it was easy.

You are as strong as I am. I felt exactly the way you feel right now. I've been sober for 15 years. You can do this.

Hamartia

I've tried to quit cold turkey, but by the end of the day, I haven't been able to make it.

biminiblue

Here is a good link on this site, take a look:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Hamartia

Oh my gosh!!! 15 years! Maybe I can do this tomorrow -- just one day. I will try -- I will really try to do this -- just one day.