UnixBer

Hi folks... So far I went a month sober and just decided to relapse. I don't know what to think about all this realistically. I'm posting this only for the reason that I want to keep honesty here, it's a recovery board and it's no use lying about your situtation here. Lies are no good.

Well... good news is that at least I'm 7 months off all caffeine. That's one drug that I'll never use again. Done with at least that. So have a nice sober day and good luck.

greens

Thanks for posting unixber

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear that Unix. Are you planning on trying again? I was a bit worried when you started your last thread thinking that the AV was gone for good....apparently it found you again?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...but-where.html

Ruby2

Back at it, eh? Well, you're here. Took me a long time to decide to quit. Thinking about it did me no good. Doing it did.

PurpleKnight

SR wants you to beat this Unix!!

strategery

I am glad you're back Unixbear. I am not sure what to tell you, other than I've been there. With my very last relapse (almost 6 months ago now), I had just gotten past the cravings and decided I was going to drink since I mistakenly thought I was past the cravings after ~2 weeks of sobriety. All it did was stir up all those cravings all over again. All that hard work I had put in had to be repeated. I realized if I didn't break the cycle, it was going to be a repeat of that miserable experience every single time. After that experience, I decided I didn't want to go through that ever again and it made me stronger for it. I hope you find the same.

anattaboy

Way to go on the caffeine! That was a toughie for me.

sva777

I hope you find what your looking for whatever that may be.

UnixBer

Thank you folks for your kind replies.

@anattaboy: The caffeine can be tough in the beginning and you should lower the caffeine intake gradually at first. There are some things you can do then. I've had some effects of the withdrawal at even 6 months, but you can do it if you want to, and I've gotten used to life caffeine-free and to be honest I notice some certain psychotic symptoms in people I see use caffeine regularly. Read the book Caffeine Blues by Stephen Cherniske, it'll give enough information in my opinion about the effects and pharmacology of caffeine etc.

Soberwolf

SR is here 24h a day keep trying

UnixBer

Yeah. It just feels like the pot is actually working on my emotional issues. Weird. Thanks.

Anna

Unixber, it's good to see you here and I do hope you continue to work on stopping drinking.

UnixBer

Yes I will. Thank you all. You're ones that reminded me that world is not a lonely place at all... I can see a mirror of past experiences and reality of the past... SR is a true blessing.

UnixBer

I love you all and I don't know what to say. You are such a caring loving folk. I could call this a spiritual home, for now. Atheist is also spiritual, in their own way. And well.. if you understand nature you begin to understand a little more of what you desire of achieve in this limited life.

UnixBer

once when I was in bad place and state.. a friendly ninja helped me out with psychic means. He repaired my aura, and did something to balance my emotions and most chakras in the body. I saw flares of colors, propably my aura emanating new "glow". Turns out you can perceive energyfields and say auras. (aura: a pretty roundabout way to describe it and things...)...

UnixBer

To being with, I'm a professional lucid dreamer. I recall my dreams on a snowy mountain. It was a pleasant journey. Dream recall is important for any serious lucid dreamer. I use dreams to give extra resource and creativity for projects . So now, a masterpiece violin.

{YT]VcnzqKpFZ0I[/YT]

But remember to dim the lights after a certain hour.

UnixBer

ScottFromWI

Perhaps it's time for some rest and some water Unix?

UnixBer

ScottFromWI I drink water during this dance.

UnixBer

The song name is Shouri no uta. It holds a meaning.