Here we go again..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: MN
Posts: 49
Here we go again..
So, my sober sister just called to say AS got kicked out of her sober living home due to testing positive for pot. AS swears she hasn't used since before detox and that she is a model client at the home. She is staying in a hotel in a nearby town. She thinks that she tested positive because marijuana can stay in ones system up to 40 days, and she has been clean since 3-24-15. I said to sober sister if that's the case, AS should demand another drug test, maybe a blood test, I really don't know how these tests work, but if that's the truth, that's what I would do. I don't know what to think, she has lied so much in the past! I DO NOT want to deal with this. Told sober sister to text her the listing of sober living facilities in that state, don't know what else to do, she is 47 years old, for crying out loud!
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 793
SadSister62, I am here to tell you that you don't have to get on that train! You can stay at the station, walk back home, get on with your own life. Your mother just passed away. You do not have to engage with your 47yo sister. You really, really don't. This is what we call loving detachment. Or just detachment, depending upon how you feel any given day. 
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,254
Ouch, 47 years old-middle aged alkies & addicts are the toughest because they have years if not decadeS of habitS to break. They don't know any other way of life especially if a long time addict Middle aged people in general are tough to change. Many managers will tell some of the biggest problems or toughest employees to change in a lot of companies are the long time employees because they think they know better but in reality only know one way which they've done for a long time. I'm also seeing reports and comments that pot is one of the toughest substances to get people off. Even Dr Drew mentioned that he's seeing in people with multiple substance problems pot is becoming the toughest to get them to quit.
Keep in mind it's not just the substances at this point it's age.
Good Luck
Keep in mind it's not just the substances at this point it's age.
Good Luck
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: MN
Posts: 49
got a call at 10:30 last night, the owner of the hotel said that AS had forgotten her key in the room and had broken the window to get back in! Owner wanted us to come get her. Husband was the one who answered phone and asked if I wanted to talk to owner. I said "no" and for owner to call the cops. Earlier in the day AS had called Dad, who was going to give her back the car when she successfully completed re-hab, wanted car now so she could get to work, but as she didn't, Dad said "no" and hung up on her. Wow, really?
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Well, it sounds like she's not ready for sobriety yet. I really hate addiction!
I'm sorry for the phone call late at night, and maybe if she was arrested she will at least be off the street for a bit.
I hope that car is not in her name. If it is, unfortunately, there is really nothing that can be done to legally keep it from her.
You, your family, and your sister will be in my prayers. Hang in there!
I'm sorry for the phone call late at night, and maybe if she was arrested she will at least be off the street for a bit.
I hope that car is not in her name. If it is, unfortunately, there is really nothing that can be done to legally keep it from her.
You, your family, and your sister will be in my prayers. Hang in there!
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,681
sadsister, I'm sorry you are dealing with this again. I think telling the motel owner to call the police was a good answer. Your sister has some good options thanks to you and your hard work trying to help her. It's up to her to obey the rules and keep that roof over her head. You are not there to keep rescuing her from her continuous bad decisions. I'm surprised your Dad didn't give in. It sounds like he is setting some boundaries also.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
sad...you are doing so well in setting boundaries and sending prayers for you as you stand firm. glad your dad also said no. so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom, but know you did so much. you are an awesome person!
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