Godismyrock

So, as many of you know, my STBXAH cheated on me a week ago with a hooker with my first name.
Tonight, he drives home wasted from his local dive, makes a giant mess in the kitchen and turns up the music on the speaker from his iphone.
Then, Jimmy Buffet starts singing the pina colada cheating song from his iphone, and he says "I love this song."
Then has the gall to ask me after it is over, have you ever heard that song?
wow, just wow
He told me today that he is relieved that I have filed for divorce. That part of him thinks of it as a new start. All the way he is telling me how he will always love me, he wants me to be happy, ???????????
Who is this guy?
I gotta process this. Right now, and for awhile, I will be in disbelief. I thought he really wanted recovery. Nope, it was all an act. Just to keep pretending a little while longer.

so many years wasted with this man.
wow, just wow

Liveitwell

Um-wow. That's all I got! Peace to you.

Duckygirl1

Some of them can really take crazy to the next level. Don't try and process this, just pity it. Anyone who thinks booze and hookers is a "brand new start" is not worth one more day of your life. He couldn't give two craps in a hat about your happiness. It's about protecting his addiction even to his own demise. So sad,((((hug))))

SeriousKarma

What is he? 12 years old?

healthyagain

Just imagine, divorcing that, priceless!

lillamy

I couldn't process all the crazy at once. I think when you live with that much crazy (someone else's and your own), you either have a breakdown or you learn to compartmentalize. The compartmentalization isn't healthy, but it's a survival instinct.

For me, being able to let garbage like that go in one ear and out the other without ever making impression on my brain was my survival strategy. I sort of treated him like I would a drunk at my bus stop -- keep an eye to make sure he doesn't get too close but otherwise ignore the outbursts and stupidity.

Godismyrock

Its just so incredible. One hour he is telling me how he will always love me and that he only wants the best for me. That he plans to leave most everything at the house when he moves out.
The next hour he is singing the cheating song to my face like its nothing.
Does he have any clue?

Divorce lawyer says he doesn't have to move out until the divorce is final. He does not know that yet. Currently he is talking about moving out as soon as he finds a house. I am praying he finds a house fast and gets out of my life.

I gotta see a counselor, I think. Today is gonna be a rough day. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day and he I am crying in it.

Who has the gall to sing the cheating song in the face of the spouse they hurt?

Carlotta

Someone who richly deserves to be kicked to the curb.
Since yours seems to be a musical household, it's time to play
"Hit the road Jack" for him

LexieCat

He's a clueless drunk. Do NOT expect a scrap of empathy from him.

Maybe have a Plan B in mind in case he CAN'T get his drunken ass together enough to move?

Refiner

Oh good LORD! What a loser!

Sotiredofitall

I second playing the song *Hit the Road Jack*. For me it would be a bit of payback....did I call that healthy? Probably not. But would sure feel good. Especially if he even heard it, and he probably wouldn't.

CarmenLove

To be honest, he probably didn't even make the connection ! ?

I honestly think they are in a world of their own sometimes and have absolutely no grasp of reality when in active addiction.

healthyagain

I see the connection, "he is not into yoga, and he has half a brain."

redatlanta

so many years wasted with this man.

Think not of the years wasted, but of the years you won't waste. The future is what counts, not the past.

Refiner

I was kind of wondering if his pickled brain even made the connection too lol.

Godismyrock

not much in to health food and is in to champagne...

firebolt

Haha - time for your own playlist for sure.

50 Ways to Leave Your lover
These Boots are made for Walkin
I will Survive

Godismyrock

He didn't make the connection I learned after challenging him on his crap. He thinks of it as a song about two spouses finding each other again, instead of a cheating song. He apologized profusely.

That being said, he has a date with his lawyer Thursday. For that I am grateful.

tbeit

Um I'm not saying anything about your situation, that being said , it is a song about two spouses finding each other again. I'm really not trying to give you a hard time and I'm sorry youre going through what you are but I love that song. It was sung and written by Rupert Holmes. Jimmy Buffett may have covered it though.

VirginiaWoof

Sorry to go off track but being a Brit I got Jimmy Buffett and Warren Buffett mixed up and have been VERY bemused!!!

Anyway, back to the plot. I loved RedAtlanta's observation: Think not of the years wasted, but of the years you won't waste. The future is what counts, not the past.