So its started
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 126
So its started
The bs has started.
We've decided to split we both agreed.
Now I git the letter stating how hard it will be for him and the kids (not me??) he will cut down but will still drink, stated a few things I do wrong, stated a few things he does great etc he still loves me and don't make a hasty decision and he's off to his dad's for the night.
Then later on that night he text if I've read it , I just replied yes well talk tomorrow please be back in morning for dd game. He replies no I'm going fishing.
I'm so sick I could vomit this is dd first game it means the world and everything to her and her dad this will kill her I'm just so angry and sad and sick they hav been xcited all of 2 months for this game. FFs she is only 6yrs.
Just need to vent xxxx
We've decided to split we both agreed.
Now I git the letter stating how hard it will be for him and the kids (not me??) he will cut down but will still drink, stated a few things I do wrong, stated a few things he does great etc he still loves me and don't make a hasty decision and he's off to his dad's for the night.
Then later on that night he text if I've read it , I just replied yes well talk tomorrow please be back in morning for dd game. He replies no I'm going fishing.
I'm so sick I could vomit this is dd first game it means the world and everything to her and her dad this will kill her I'm just so angry and sad and sick they hav been xcited all of 2 months for this game. FFs she is only 6yrs.
Just need to vent xxxx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
you'll be there, THAT is what matters. don't make a big deal out of him NOT being there.....keep your focus on DD and the game ahead and take tons of pictures and go have ice cream afterwards.
he is showing his true colors. or maybe more to the point, YOU are seeing them clearly now.
what a d!ckhead. oh well.
Have FUN at the game!!!
he is showing his true colors. or maybe more to the point, YOU are seeing them clearly now.
what a d!ckhead. oh well.
Have FUN at the game!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
(((((hugs)))) At 6, they pick up a lot of emotional cues from us so if she sees that you're frazzled by him, she will be too. If you show her a "Meh! Whatevs!" attitude she'll respond in-kind. Try to keep the focus on her & what is happening Right Now during the game, just keep redirecting her back to good, positive stuff if she dwells on his absence.
I'm betting in the long run she'll always remember how awesome her mom was at her first-ever game & the rest will be forgotten.
Her FIRST game!!! What an wonderful, sweet memory you are making today!!
I'm betting in the long run she'll always remember how awesome her mom was at her first-ever game & the rest will be forgotten.
Her FIRST game!!! What an wonderful, sweet memory you are making today!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
Originally Posted by johnno1 
The bs has started.
We've decided to split we both agreed.
Now I git the letter stating how hard it will be for him and the kids (not me??) he will cut down but will still drink, stated a few things I do wrong, stated a few things he does great etc he still loves me and don't make a hasty decision and he's off to his dad's for the night.
Then later on that night he text if I've read it , I just replied yes well talk tomorrow please be back in morning for dd game. He replies no I'm going fishing.
I'm so sick I could vomit this is dd first game it means the world and everything to her and her dad this will kill her I'm just so angry and sad and sick they hav been xcited all of 2 months for this game. FFs she is only 6yrs.
Just need to vent xxxx
We've decided to split we both agreed.
Now I git the letter stating how hard it will be for him and the kids (not me??) he will cut down but will still drink, stated a few things I do wrong, stated a few things he does great etc he still loves me and don't make a hasty decision and he's off to his dad's for the night.
Then later on that night he text if I've read it , I just replied yes well talk tomorrow please be back in morning for dd game. He replies no I'm going fishing.
I'm so sick I could vomit this is dd first game it means the world and everything to her and her dad this will kill her I'm just so angry and sad and sick they hav been xcited all of 2 months for this game. FFs she is only 6yrs.
Just need to vent xxxx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
My ex hasn't showed up to one thing-practice, games, church or school event...for his beloved 6 year old-icing on the cake? He skipped her birthday abd party to go with his dysfunctional enabling family to the coast. Yep! Hasn't paid me a dime of child support or any thing else. I'm hopeful he gets tossed in jail soon. Truly-I always thought he was a good decent person but I now see that his true colors are exactly what his mom and sister are-evil and disgusting. I've been there every step of the way and my 6 year old doesn't even notice dad's absence anymore. Your soon to be ex and mine should hang out-and maybe move away together to fish!!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
johnno......remember that the alcoholic voice (in their head) does not allow them to see the world through the same filter as the non alcoholic.
If he saw the world as you do---he would have to stop drinking!!! Something that seems impossible to the alcoholic. The alcohol, to the alcoholic is like water to a fish.....necessary for existence.
Alcoholics don't drink in order to hurt other people (although they hurt others badly)...they drink in order to feel better.....
There comes a point when one has to do what has to be done to take care of themselves.
It won't always feel this bad......
dandylion
If he saw the world as you do---he would have to stop drinking!!! Something that seems impossible to the alcoholic. The alcohol, to the alcoholic is like water to a fish.....necessary for existence.
Alcoholics don't drink in order to hurt other people (although they hurt others badly)...they drink in order to feel better.....
There comes a point when one has to do what has to be done to take care of themselves.
It won't always feel this bad......
dandylion
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 126
Thank all, he ended up turning up at the last minute to watch the game he told me his feeling were hurt that's why is txt me that. And he was great at the game with the kids etc 
Now he's saying he's going to ring a a to maybe get some help but he still wants to enjoy a few beers.
I wonder if a a will really be able to help him. Who knows thanks for all your support x
Now he's saying he's going to ring a a to maybe get some help but he still wants to enjoy a few beers.
I wonder if a a will really be able to help him. Who knows thanks for all your support x
In search of myself
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Philadelphia FREEDOM
Posts: 149
Originally Posted by johnno1
Now he's saying he's going to ring a a to maybe get some help but he still wants to enjoy a few beers.
I wonder if a a will really be able to help him.
I wonder if a a will really be able to help him.
He's quacking. And, sadly, he's manipulating. That's just what addicts do. I heard all this and more from my husband.
An alcoholic cannot "enjoy" a few beers. Dismiss what he said to you as total b.s., nothing more. I'm sorry, but it's true.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 126
Haha ok I heard it loud and clear over the megaphone! ,
Seems he is slowly coming out of his denial which has never happened.
I'm working on step 1 thought I really got it then finding higher power has truly truly helped in a big way but think I better go back to step one, I want to do this properly and I'm finding it hard to not let others and his behaviour effect me Me wish it was easy!! I always play the victim poor me etc, least I'm aware of it though x
Seems he is slowly coming out of his denial which has never happened.
I'm working on step 1 thought I really got it then finding higher power has truly truly helped in a big way but think I better go back to step one, I want to do this properly and I'm finding it hard to not let others and his behaviour effect me Me wish it was easy!! I always play the victim poor me etc, least I'm aware of it though x
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