A bit more drama
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 314
A bit more drama
Well, my husband's grandmother (on his crazy alcoholic dad's side) met my grandma at our wedding. They swapped addresses and my husband's Gma writes to my grandma occasionally (sends birthday cards, that sort of thing.)
My husband's Gma is quite manipulative. Just like my husband's dad. They are an abusive bunch. Husband's Gma sends me guilt laden cards occasionally too (we never see her, that sort of thing.)
So, anyway, she wrote to my ageing and very confused grandma the other day. She told her all about the marital situation between my husband and I... Pretty much saying my poor husband this and that and how bad I am (for kicking him out, moving away and apparently keeping him from our daughter though he hasn't contacted me in months) And then said she never gets to see my daughter. Guilt laden. Manipulative.
I wasn't ready to tell my grandma or any of my extended family yet but now they all know because my Gma went to my Aunty first, confused and upset by what she had read.
I wrote to my husband's grandma today, I told her to stop any form of communication with myself or my daughter and my family. I told her she has violated my privacy, acted unkindly and stated that her actions were manipulative and therefore she is no longer a welcome part of our lives.
I hope I didn't go too far but I find this really appalling. My family doesn't have a lot of drama, my husband's clearly do. They are nuts on his dad's side.
My husband's Gma is quite manipulative. Just like my husband's dad. They are an abusive bunch. Husband's Gma sends me guilt laden cards occasionally too (we never see her, that sort of thing.)
So, anyway, she wrote to my ageing and very confused grandma the other day. She told her all about the marital situation between my husband and I... Pretty much saying my poor husband this and that and how bad I am (for kicking him out, moving away and apparently keeping him from our daughter though he hasn't contacted me in months) And then said she never gets to see my daughter. Guilt laden. Manipulative.
I wasn't ready to tell my grandma or any of my extended family yet but now they all know because my Gma went to my Aunty first, confused and upset by what she had read.
I wrote to my husband's grandma today, I told her to stop any form of communication with myself or my daughter and my family. I told her she has violated my privacy, acted unkindly and stated that her actions were manipulative and therefore she is no longer a welcome part of our lives.
I hope I didn't go too far but I find this really appalling. My family doesn't have a lot of drama, my husband's clearly do. They are nuts on his dad's side.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 126
Maybear that's so tough I really feel for you and your extended family for bringing crap drama to your side.
I'm just so sad for you, hang in there your one tough cookie dealing with this all and you do so well. Keep being strong xxxx
I'm just so sad for you, hang in there your one tough cookie dealing with this all and you do so well. Keep being strong xxxx
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 588
I'd be pretty ticked off too is someone had spilled my beans. I had this sort of thing go on during my divorce, but it was my ex husbands psycho new wife doing all of the blabbing.
You know the truth and have every right to delete this woman from you and your daughters life. However, you don't really have the right to demand that she cease contact with any other adults. Though you stated your case firmly and with more respect than you were given, it's a wee bit controlling. It would be better if your aunty and gran, to the degree that she can, cut her off themselves.
Awful as it is, it's out now. Not only your situation, but his irresponsibility. Please stay focused on the positive steps you've made and don't let their drama make you sick. ((((Hugs))))
You know the truth and have every right to delete this woman from you and your daughters life. However, you don't really have the right to demand that she cease contact with any other adults. Though you stated your case firmly and with more respect than you were given, it's a wee bit controlling. It would be better if your aunty and gran, to the degree that she can, cut her off themselves.
Awful as it is, it's out now. Not only your situation, but his irresponsibility. Please stay focused on the positive steps you've made and don't let their drama make you sick. ((((Hugs))))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 314
Duckygirl, I understand I don't have the right to ask that she cease contact with other adults ordinarily but my grandmother is barely an consenting adult at this stage of her life. That makes this situation different. She has dementia, and limited capacity in decision making and all areas of self care.
She doesn't write back to her ever, she is too unwell. She barely even remembers who she is.
She doesn't write back to her ever, she is too unwell. She barely even remembers who she is.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Sounds like that GMA likes to gossip and it also sounds like her ears have been filled with a story from your husband. Can we blame her for that? I dunno. For an old woman (I assume) she seems to lack in wisdom I wouldn't have stepped into that fire and I am 47. Maybe she watches too much daytime soap opera.
Truth is she can write and say whatever she wants to whomever she wants no matter what you say. It would eventually come out - now your family knows and you have said your side of the story. I'd be equally as ticked at the GMA who went to Auntie first rather than to me.
Truth is she can write and say whatever she wants to whomever she wants no matter what you say. It would eventually come out - now your family knows and you have said your side of the story. I'd be equally as ticked at the GMA who went to Auntie first rather than to me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 314
My grandma didn't really know what was going on so I can't blame her for going to my Aunty.
Anything she writes to me now I'm going to keep unopened and return to sender. So yeah she can write if she wants, but I don't have to read it.
You are right, I'm sure my husband has told some lies to make himself look better.
My mum (my grandma's daughter) actually called my husband's grandma yesterday and asked her to not send my gma upsetting letters like that again. I've never heard my mum so stern.
Well, I hope I didn't act too hastily by sending her a letter asking her to not contact me or my daughter anymore. The thing is, she is a nasty woman and her son (my husband's dad) is a violent man. They've been sending me cards for years now that are guilt laden. Husband's dad turns up unannounced, calls my work. My husband's older brother just took him to court for an AVO and all the while my husband's grandma thinks everyone else is the problem. I'm sure she thinks I'm the problem in this situation with my husband too. That's just how she operates.
She says she never sees her great grandchild because of me. No. That's because your grandson (my husband) is always drinking, doesn't have a license and can't get out of bed before midday.
I'm just sick of it all and I want her and her guilt trips to eff off lol.
Anything she writes to me now I'm going to keep unopened and return to sender. So yeah she can write if she wants, but I don't have to read it.
You are right, I'm sure my husband has told some lies to make himself look better.
My mum (my grandma's daughter) actually called my husband's grandma yesterday and asked her to not send my gma upsetting letters like that again. I've never heard my mum so stern.
Well, I hope I didn't act too hastily by sending her a letter asking her to not contact me or my daughter anymore. The thing is, she is a nasty woman and her son (my husband's dad) is a violent man. They've been sending me cards for years now that are guilt laden. Husband's dad turns up unannounced, calls my work. My husband's older brother just took him to court for an AVO and all the while my husband's grandma thinks everyone else is the problem. I'm sure she thinks I'm the problem in this situation with my husband too. That's just how she operates.
She says she never sees her great grandchild because of me. No. That's because your grandson (my husband) is always drinking, doesn't have a license and can't get out of bed before midday.
I'm just sick of it all and I want her and her guilt trips to eff off lol.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Oh my...^^^....never have I heard it so plainly and true...this is exactly how I feel-not only did I get out of my alcoholic abusive marriage to a mamas boy, I also divorced his sick manipulative and meddling sister and mother. Praise Jesus. Yuck-he can have them. Good for you, I say. Keep living your life in the truth-what they do is on them...not you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
