Goodstart

Second post to this forum ... I don't know if alcohol causes my depression or depression is causing alcohol use... However the cycle keeps on going .

I forget everything ... Had made id here with all hopes of stopping for good. That did not happen and I forgot my password even


Need guidance desperately.

site1Q84

Not everyone gets it on the first try, but that's no reason to give up!

I couldn't say if it's the alcohol causing the depression or the depression that makes you drink, but if you've tried during your depression with alcohol and it hasn't worked maybe it's finally time to try the other way and see what happens when you stop

CeeFarro

I think the cycle is just called alcoholism. You are not alone. I know exactly how you feel. I have told myself that I was going to quit so many times and failed that I cannot count. Pretty much daily for the past decade. It is exhausting..I am super new (4 days) so I don't know a whole lot but I do know that you have already helped me by just posting. Thank you

Tc4ever

Cursed I've asked myself that very same question while trying to figure it out. Most of the time while I was drinking. While I only have 3 weeks sober the depression is still there, but not nearly as bad. I'm still hopeful that with more sober time it will be less and less. You are not alone in this and you will have all the support you could ever ask for here. Try and hang in there I know what it's like. If you feel like you need to talk everyone is here for you....
TC

Dee74

Hi Cursed - welcome

I definitely started drinking to self medicate for a whole lot of things - including depression - but over the next twenty years I also developed a nasty case of alcoholism.

I think you need to treat both.

D

esinger

It's a never ending cycle till YOU end it. I'd give up the booze then when your head has cleared you can analyze the root cause of you depression and make the necessary adjustments.. Hard to come to a consensus on anything while intoxicated. Bet you find that once you get through the initial struggle of sobering up your depression drastically subsides. Although it takes time and isn't easy, your wellbeing is worth it.

Goodstart

Thank you all for already posting such encouraging words. I am happy to know I am not alone - actually not happy relieved I should say. I would be happy if we never had to come here right?

I will be treating depression for sure. For alcohol still trying to find best path. I try online chat but am not able to get into any - no a tech savvy person I should say

Dee74

The best path is to put down the bottle and leave it down - the various support groups and mechanisms just help you in the decision.

Here's some good ideas on making a recovery plan.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
D

MIRecovery

It really doesn't make a difference. What does make a difference is alcoholism is progressive. It gets only worse never better. Our mind goes, our body goes, our relationships go.

The elevator only goes down. The good news is we can get off any time we want.

For me I went to a doctor, started Intensive Outpatient Therapy, and went to AA.

Today while life is not perfect it is so much better than life when I was drinking.

You can do this if you want to.

Goodstart

I want to, I really really want to.. just not getting that self control

Berrybean

Hi Cursed. So sorry you're feeling so low. I remember that place well, and never want to go back there.

I really don't want to sound harsh, but you're not going to just 'get' that self-control. There is no sobriety fairy who's going to fly over one night as you sleep and sprinkle you with sober dust. The first step is to recognise what the problem is. The second is to want (really want) to get sober. After that it is a case of thinking about what changes you can make in your life that will help you to not pick up a drink. What are your triggers - one offs or in your routine. If you 'always' come in at a certain time and have your first drink watching a particular show, it's worth changing the whole habit for a while. I was told 'nothing changes if nothing changes', and found that so, so true. Just carrying on with my previous routine but without the alcohol was nigh on impossible. Once I changed my routine around a bit it started getting easier. Some things are triggers to most people. Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, and being Tired (HALT).
Personally, I have found having group support (AA for me, but there's other options) really, really helpful. Especially in dealing with some of the emotional and mental 'stuff' that kind of came out of the blue after I'd been dry for a while. For me, that's where working the 12-step program was a life-saver (possibly literally), but everyones journey is different.
Good luck - please don't just wait for that willpower. You have to fight for it xx

JaneLane

You're here, and that's a great step.

I have mental health issues which are treated with medication, support etc, but the big thing is that alcohol made it worse and the medication practically useless as alcohol is a depressant.

I definitely recommend getting some help to stop drinking. I go to AA but there are other options of course and I like to read as widely as I can about addiction.

You mentioned self-control, but doing this on willpower alone is usually very hard. That's when I feel like I'm "white knuckling" it.