The danger of triggers
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 36
The danger of triggers
I am a survivor of multiple traumas from childhood right through to adulthood. I have PTSD and C-PTSD. I have been working hard at learning, confronting and beginning to recover from 5 decades of pain, fear, anxiety and all the other horrible symptoms. I have been in therapy for a couple of years and continue to work very hard at getting better.
My commitment is not just for myself but also my two kids who are used by my XH (not an A) to hurt me as often as he can, so are also victims.
I left my very sick xabf four months ago, mainly because I set very strong boundaries that pissed him off so much he basically withdrew, did the silent treatment and 'started a new life' literally from one day to the next. Huge trigger for all the horrible PTSD stuff, which I picked up on and tried to 'manage.
I have had to get in contact with the A this last week over some last admin things, and he replied to some queries and then went silent treatment again. T
Last week I also had to have a f2f meeting with XH about the fact that he will not support his kids financially, I go to court at least once a year, with no positive outcome.
Anyway, this morning I woke up with a full-blown PTSD trip from hell. Distressing, terrifying, threatening and very alarming. After I calmed down, which took at few hours, I realised that the trigger was the xabf and his disappearance and silent treatment, rejection and devaluation.
So, the moral of my story is, you don't always know where the triggers are coming from. Some cannot be avoided, it's life, but by god run like hell from the ones you can avoid!
The abusive and cruel xabf is now labelled on my phone as "danger-PTSD trigger".
This latest bit of cruelty from the A has been helpful too, I now see that his nastiness is just that, toxic, angry, corrosive-nothing to do with me. My issue is the triggering. I am staying as far away as I can get.
I hope this helps others who are hurting and traumatised. Only we can heal ourselves.
My commitment is not just for myself but also my two kids who are used by my XH (not an A) to hurt me as often as he can, so are also victims.
I left my very sick xabf four months ago, mainly because I set very strong boundaries that pissed him off so much he basically withdrew, did the silent treatment and 'started a new life' literally from one day to the next. Huge trigger for all the horrible PTSD stuff, which I picked up on and tried to 'manage.
I have had to get in contact with the A this last week over some last admin things, and he replied to some queries and then went silent treatment again. T
Last week I also had to have a f2f meeting with XH about the fact that he will not support his kids financially, I go to court at least once a year, with no positive outcome.
Anyway, this morning I woke up with a full-blown PTSD trip from hell. Distressing, terrifying, threatening and very alarming. After I calmed down, which took at few hours, I realised that the trigger was the xabf and his disappearance and silent treatment, rejection and devaluation.
So, the moral of my story is, you don't always know where the triggers are coming from. Some cannot be avoided, it's life, but by god run like hell from the ones you can avoid!
The abusive and cruel xabf is now labelled on my phone as "danger-PTSD trigger".
This latest bit of cruelty from the A has been helpful too, I now see that his nastiness is just that, toxic, angry, corrosive-nothing to do with me. My issue is the triggering. I am staying as far away as I can get.
I hope this helps others who are hurting and traumatised. Only we can heal ourselves.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 588
How am I just reading this? You are so spot on! One of the things the ex and I loved was watching the show "Family Guy" I hadn't watched it since he left. I decided to watch last night and it was so weird. I kept flashing back to him. The memories weren't all bad, but still. I just wanted to watch the show like I used to. That is to say with no connection to him.
I still live in the village where we experienced the vast majority of our incidents. I live across the street from where he bought his heroine. I can't walk 2 feet in any direction without a memory. I don't want to move because I like my little village. I was here before him anyway. It used to be worse, but it's getting better. I can honestly say that I wished I'd never met him.
I still live in the village where we experienced the vast majority of our incidents. I live across the street from where he bought his heroine. I can't walk 2 feet in any direction without a memory. I don't want to move because I like my little village. I was here before him anyway. It used to be worse, but it's getting better. I can honestly say that I wished I'd never met him.
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