Please help: looking after cousins with alcoholic parent
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Salisbury
Posts: 1
Please help: looking after cousins with alcoholic parent
Hi. I have 2 beautiful cousins living with an alcoholic mother. The father is weak and sits back while the mother drinks and abuses her girls. He is threatening to leave. One is 17 and I helped her move out into my best friends house today. The other girl is 10 and still lives with her parents.
I'm 26 and would love to have both of them with me but circumstances prevent it and the mum would never let anyone take the 10 year old away from her.
I love them both so much but am sick of the physical and emotional abuse, which was mostly put on the 17 yr old but now that she is gone I'm worried about it being put on the 10 yr old.
In the past when the rest of my family has gotten involved it has lead to my aunty packing the kids up and moving really far away and not answering any phone calls. I don't want to isolate the 10 yr old by getting everyone involved for an intervention.
I'm really struggling with what to do. I know that my aunty is sad about her actions when she is drunk and makes promises to change, but she never takes steps to make it happen.
I'm really worried for the girls. They are like sisters to me. If anyone has any advice on ways to tackle this I would really appreciate it.
I'm 26 and would love to have both of them with me but circumstances prevent it and the mum would never let anyone take the 10 year old away from her.
I love them both so much but am sick of the physical and emotional abuse, which was mostly put on the 17 yr old but now that she is gone I'm worried about it being put on the 10 yr old.
In the past when the rest of my family has gotten involved it has lead to my aunty packing the kids up and moving really far away and not answering any phone calls. I don't want to isolate the 10 yr old by getting everyone involved for an intervention.
I'm really struggling with what to do. I know that my aunty is sad about her actions when she is drunk and makes promises to change, but she never takes steps to make it happen.
I'm really worried for the girls. They are like sisters to me. If anyone has any advice on ways to tackle this I would really appreciate it.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Hi Jessiecamarie -- welcome!
I would start by contacting an attorney who can let you know what rights you have and the child has. At 10, the kid may or may not want to leave the only home she's ever had, but it's still vitally important for you to know what is and what is legal, so that you don't get yourself into legal trouble.
If it's not against the law, you might be able co alert family services and tell them there is an at-risk child in the home; that you are related; and that if their investigation finds reason to remove the child, you will be willing to provide foster care.
My heart is breaking because... I know what happens to these children emotionally and mentally if they don't get out. You're doing an amazing thing wanting to help them.
I would start by contacting an attorney who can let you know what rights you have and the child has. At 10, the kid may or may not want to leave the only home she's ever had, but it's still vitally important for you to know what is and what is legal, so that you don't get yourself into legal trouble.
If it's not against the law, you might be able co alert family services and tell them there is an at-risk child in the home; that you are related; and that if their investigation finds reason to remove the child, you will be willing to provide foster care.
My heart is breaking because... I know what happens to these children emotionally and mentally if they don't get out. You're doing an amazing thing wanting to help them.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I second the finding out about your rights and her rights.
I think you could be invaluable to this little girl and make sure she knows she is loved and listened to.
10 is a difficult age for a girl - lots of changes for her.
She needs a strong female around.
I wish you the best xx
I think you could be invaluable to this little girl and make sure she knows she is loved and listened to.
10 is a difficult age for a girl - lots of changes for her.
She needs a strong female around.
I wish you the best xx
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