Wanting answers....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Houston, tx
Posts: 32
Wanting answers....
Is this stupid? I want to know the full on truth, about everything.
I texted like an ass to see if he would just tell me.... I mean this guy knew my stance on drugs, from date 1. Why would he pursue a relationship with me if he knew how ADAMANT I was. I realize I've gone back on that, but like if a dude I went on an initial date with said that he hated girls that ate meat, I'd be like "yup I'm not your person, good luck. How about being friends?" Ya know?
Then there's a very teeny voice in voice in me that's saying - "what does it matter?!?! You aren't going to compromise on your stance on drugs.. He's probably going to lie anyway..."
Why is this breakup so different than all the other ones?!?! My ex husband cheated on me, and it was done, that second.
Sorry for the rambling...
Thank you all for listening.
I texted like an ass to see if he would just tell me.... I mean this guy knew my stance on drugs, from date 1. Why would he pursue a relationship with me if he knew how ADAMANT I was. I realize I've gone back on that, but like if a dude I went on an initial date with said that he hated girls that ate meat, I'd be like "yup I'm not your person, good luck. How about being friends?" Ya know?
Then there's a very teeny voice in voice in me that's saying - "what does it matter?!?! You aren't going to compromise on your stance on drugs.. He's probably going to lie anyway..."
Why is this breakup so different than all the other ones?!?! My ex husband cheated on me, and it was done, that second.
Sorry for the rambling...
Thank you all for listening.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 412
Hi Nowia,
It's crazy isn't it. I was the same, I told him before we were married that I don't want any kind of drugs in my life.
As addicts though they are in their alternate reality and lies come naturally.
I also have REALLY wanted the truth.
He would NEVER give it to me. Even when he told me some stuff, again I believe it was only a fraction of the truth. Again this is to do with the disease.
Seriously frustrating though.
I also wish that the truth would OUT, so that all his family and friends and our acquaintances would realise that I am not this evil, crazy Jezabel like he has made me out to be.
I desire the truth and openness - things you simply don't get when you are with an addict I am coming to realise.
It's crazy isn't it. I was the same, I told him before we were married that I don't want any kind of drugs in my life.
As addicts though they are in their alternate reality and lies come naturally.
I also have REALLY wanted the truth.
He would NEVER give it to me. Even when he told me some stuff, again I believe it was only a fraction of the truth. Again this is to do with the disease.
Seriously frustrating though.
I also wish that the truth would OUT, so that all his family and friends and our acquaintances would realise that I am not this evil, crazy Jezabel like he has made me out to be.
I desire the truth and openness - things you simply don't get when you are with an addict I am coming to realise.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Houston, tx
Posts: 32
Wait, so it's not just me, where the addicts circle completely hates me?!?!?!
I mean his parents flat out blame me, his friends blame me for "taking him away" ummmm it's called he worked 6 12 hour shifts in order to support his habit, 3 day shifts, 3 night shifts. And he flat out become a recluse...
THIS FORUM IS AMAZING!
<3
I mean his parents flat out blame me, his friends blame me for "taking him away" ummmm it's called he worked 6 12 hour shifts in order to support his habit, 3 day shifts, 3 night shifts. And he flat out become a recluse...
THIS FORUM IS AMAZING!
<3
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 412
Originally Posted by Nowiamawas1026 
Wait, so it's not just me, where the addicts circle completely hates me?!?!?!
I mean his parents flat out blame me, his friends blame me for "taking him away" ummmm it's called he worked 6 12 hour shifts in order to support his habit, 3 day shifts, 3 night shifts. And he flat out become a recluse...
THIS FORUM IS AMAZING! <3
I mean his parents flat out blame me, his friends blame me for "taking him away" ummmm it's called he worked 6 12 hour shifts in order to support his habit, 3 day shifts, 3 night shifts. And he flat out become a recluse...
THIS FORUM IS AMAZING!
<3His family flat out blamed me too for apparently being a 'bad wife'. I wonder what lies he told them to create that one!
Mine is also a functioning addict who works all the time to support his habit. Because he works, his friends and family just assume he is fine. They don't live near him. I lived with him and I am a non addict. Yet they chose to believe him and turn on me.
Now I am the 'crazy' one!
Go figure.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Houston, tx
Posts: 32
I hear ya!!! Totally!!! I was trying to articulate this yesterday, but everyone got the "great" version, and I got the worst....when I felt like I should get the best version ever. Ya know?!?!
Everyday is getting better..which is good. I don't want to live with the constant second guessing for the rest of my life. And for opiate addicts unfortunately, it's like one of the hardest ones to beat. I want to get back to having fun. Not having this horrible distrust, in my person. I want that freedom back. Not constantly thinking (obsessing) about the other person. Ya know? Maybe have someone constantly thinking about me... Someone who surprises me at the end of a hard day (night)
It feels so hard to get rid of my x, because he works in the same field. It was my first time dating someone in the biz, and let me tell you how awesome that was. To be able to go home and talk and have the person know what I'm talking about? Someone who could teach me more about the human body (rad techs are awesome at anatomy) the first time he did compressions on a patient (CPR, he did the pushing part which he was terrified of) I made him a cute cake... Ugh
But as it turns out, he really isn't as passionate as I am about his job. He talks a big game about getting extra certifications...I'm currently studying for my certified emergency nurse exam(big deal..I'll sit for the exam at the end of May) He never follows through with it.
He wanted to go for a more specialized field, I told him I would happily study with him to get the certification required, since I am also required to have it, and have been certified for the last 6 years..that day never came...
K enough rambling..this time the split is so much easier. And I attribute that 100% to all of you. Thank you all so much. <3
Everyday is getting better..which is good. I don't want to live with the constant second guessing for the rest of my life. And for opiate addicts unfortunately, it's like one of the hardest ones to beat. I want to get back to having fun. Not having this horrible distrust, in my person. I want that freedom back. Not constantly thinking (obsessing) about the other person. Ya know? Maybe have someone constantly thinking about me... Someone who surprises me at the end of a hard day (night)
It feels so hard to get rid of my x, because he works in the same field. It was my first time dating someone in the biz, and let me tell you how awesome that was. To be able to go home and talk and have the person know what I'm talking about? Someone who could teach me more about the human body (rad techs are awesome at anatomy) the first time he did compressions on a patient (CPR, he did the pushing part which he was terrified of) I made him a cute cake... Ugh
But as it turns out, he really isn't as passionate as I am about his job. He talks a big game about getting extra certifications...I'm currently studying for my certified emergency nurse exam(big deal..I'll sit for the exam at the end of May) He never follows through with it.
He wanted to go for a more specialized field, I told him I would happily study with him to get the certification required, since I am also required to have it, and have been certified for the last 6 years..that day never came...
K enough rambling..this time the split is so much easier. And I attribute that 100% to all of you. Thank you all so much.
<3
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